ok, so maybe the snow was a good thing
Thursday, April 5, 2007

so this is slightly, well very belated, thanks to a final art exam and tonnes of prep work for it.
Anyway. said boyfriend went to Italy, and (I quote)'fell in love with someone else' in a week .
So I don't see him til first day back at school, completely unaware of all this, and he won't speak to me, or even look at me. Understandably puzzled and upset, I try to find out what's wrong to no avail, until that night, when I receive an email entitled: 'I'm sorry' from him.
Yes! I think, I'm gonna find out what's wrong!
and I did. He dumped me, in ridiculous text talk I could barely read, in an email. Said it wasn't fair on me if he wasn't 100% dedicated to me, though he still really liked me, but he couldn't help the way he felt, and that I deserved better, etc, etc. you know the drill.
Course, I was seriously upset, and did some detective work... turns out.... all the girl did was fall asleep on his shoulder on the way there , while everyone was yelling: 'what about kate??' at him, and she doesn't even like him. At all.
(incidentally, my friend's boyfriend also dumped her on the exact same day, for the exact same girl, and said girl and ex are now going out, earning her the cute little nickname of 'whore-bitch' in my circle of friends , but that's a different story).
So, this was about 6 weeks, lots of tears, and a list as long as my arm of people who wanna beat him up, ago, and for about 4 of those, he's been avoiding me to the point of not hanging out with his friends that I'm also friends with, while I, being the gorramn nice person that I am, am trying to be polite and friendly, cos it really upset me that he should feel so uncomfortable around me - when really it should be the other way around, right??
(believe me, the lessons in which I had to sit next to him were so awkward, I might as well have been sat next to a brick wall - heaven knows he's got the personality of one!)
Then, about 2 weeks ago, we finally got talking again, which progressed into flirting, and coming onto each other, and back to how we were before. And cos I'm such an idiot and he really is my kryptonite and I still feel the same way about him... I broached the subject of us getting back together, and he tells me that though he really would like to, not yet, because he still likes the other girl too much
arrrggggghhhhh!! I can't win, I really can't, because as hard as I try, despite all the times he screwed me over, made me wait for him and broken my heart, I cannot get over him.
I still want him back.


Thursday, April 12, 2007 11:25 AM


Never easy, is it? I know from personal experience that this scenario hurts worse than getting a limb broken. What makes it even worse is that you still got feelings for the baichi who did this to ya and have a desire to take them back, even if you consciously know that plan is worse than Mal's usual brainstorms;)

Honestly, the pain does fade and you start to move on...but never completely. I know with my ex that I still give the occasional thought or moment of consideration as to what they are up to and what could have been. Maybe it's because of the whole "dumped by e-mail" thing or just the complete suddenness of the dumping, but there's always the lingering questions that come up about what went wrong.

I doubt it really helps to know that not all guys are doinks like this, just as it really doesn't completely ease my pain that all women don't pull the kind of go se my ex did in our "relationship." Just know that the entire Browncoat Nation is behind ya in spirit and that we're here to carry ya when you need it;)


Thursday, April 5, 2007 5:52 PM


Oye! Yeah, you really don't want him back. Odds are very high you'll just be doomed to repeat this same history over and over and over and over.
I disagree with cybersnark on trying to analyze what you like about him, though. Instead, I would analyze what a JERK he is and just focus on that, so you won't want to have anything to do with it.
Start with the e-mail dump, and the ignoring you, and the wandering eye, and the callous behavior, and the E-MAIL DUMP. You don't deserve any of that, and his behavior is not gonna change. yuo can't convince him to be any different, you can't make him grow up, and you can't just feed him loyalty until it sticks. Believe me. Please.

Thursday, April 5, 2007 9:11 AM


I agree with Cybersnark. Don't hate all guys because there are a few jerks out there.
However, trust me when I say you dont want him back. If he 'fell in love' with this other girl so quickly, and for such dumb reasons, then what is stoping him from doing it again. I've known too many guys like him, and believe you, me: he will rip out your heart and stamp on it. Then he will scrape it up with a shovel, and appologise to you while seting it on fire. Try to think of that whenever you see him.

Thursday, April 5, 2007 7:28 AM


Condolences on the broken heart. I know this won't help, but we've all been there.

(He dumped you in an EMAIL!?! That's one step above a text message!)

If he wasn't smart enough to hold on to you, then you'd definitely be better served by moving on. Try analyzing what it is about him that you like; it might give you enough perspective to be able to let go. All I can do is assure you (on behalf of all guys) that we're not all scum.


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