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leedavidt

brownquotes "the message"
Monday, January 26, 2009

The Message

[Simon and Kaylee check out the "proof of alien life" exhibit — an inert creature in a cylindrical jar.]
Simon: Yep — it's a cow fetus.
Kaylee: Guess so. It does seem to have an awful lot of limbs.
Simon: It's mutated.
Kaylee: But cow? How do you figure?
Simon: It's upside down.
[Kaylee tilts her head to the side.]
Kaylee: Oh yeah. Cow.
Simon: And I'm out twelve bits! I really know how to show a girl a… disgusting time.
. . .
[Simon watches as Kaylee storms off. Zoe and Wash enter the exhibit.]
Wash: Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar.
Zoe: Scared her away again, did you?
Simon: D— This may come as a shock, but I'm actually… not very good at talking to girls.
Zoe: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?
[Wash stares into the "face" of the "alien".]
Wash: Do not fear me! Ours is a peaceful race, and we must live in harmony.
[River unsuccessfully tries to eat a spherical treat that bobs from a string.]
River: My food is problematic.
Jayne: Girl's a mind-readin' genius, can't even figure out how to eat an ice planet.
Jayne: I got post?
Book: Might we all want to step a few paces back before he opens that?
Jayne: Ha ha! It's from my mother.
[Inara and Kaylee catch up to the post-office crowd.]
Inara: So, do aliens live among us?
Kaylee: Yeah. One of them's a doctor.
[Jayne proudly wears his mother's hideous home-knit cap.]
Jayne: How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't you think?
Kaylee: I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight!
. . .
[Zoe and Mal open a coffin-sized box to find a body. Jayne peers in.]
Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for?
[Flashback to the war, where Zoe quietly kills a man about to shoot a private having a meal.]
Tracey: Thanks. I didn't know you were out there.
Zoe: Sort of the point. Stealth — you may have heard of it.
Tracey: I don't think they covered that in basic.
Zoe: Well, at least they covered "Dropping Your Weapon So You Can Eat Beans and Get Yourself Shot".
Tracey: Yeah, I got a badge in that. [seriously] Won't happen again.
Zoe: It does, I'm just gonna watch.
. . .
Zoe: First rule of battle, little one… don't ever let them know where you are.
[Cut to Mal, firing behind himself as he runs toward the two.]
Mal: WHOO-HOO! I'M RIGHT HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O' ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH!
[He lands with a grunt behind some nearby rocks.]
Mal: Whoo-hoo!
Zoe: Course, there're other schools of thought.
Mal: They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself.
Mal: Tracey, ain't you dead yet?
Tracey: Through no fault of my own, Sarge.
Mal: Aw...I really wanted your beans.
Mal: Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.
Jayne: We're taking him on board?
Mal: We are.
Jayne: Don't know if I see the percentage in that.
Mal: Then don't strain your brain trying. You might break something.
[River to Simon after he is blown off by Kaylee]
River: You are such a boob.
[The crew listens to Tracey's recorded message.]
Tracey: Uh, okay. Uh, recording. Hi, I guess. This is a message for Zoe, and for Malcolm Reynolds. And I really hope you all are the ones listening to it. I'll spare you the boring details. I've fallen in with untrustworthy folk. Makin' a bunch of bad calls. All that matters is… I expect to be shuffled off. And you two are the only people I trust to get me where I'm going, which is home. I'd like my body to be with my folks on St. Albans. We got the family plot there, and my Mom and Dad, well, they deserve to know I died. You know, it's funny. We went to the war never lookin' to come back, but it's… it's the real world I couldn't survive. You two carried me through that war. Now I need you to carry me just a little bit further… if you can. Tell my folks I wanted to do right by them, and that I'm at peace, and all. Uh… When you can't run anymore, you crawl, and when you can't do that, well… Yeah, you know the rest. Thanks, b-both of you. Oh, yeah, and, uh… make sure my eyes is closed, will ya?
[A menacing man scares information about Serenity out of postal clerk Amnon, then chuckles.]
Womack: Relax! You've been great. And I was just bluffing with that stuff about arresting you. I mean, who needs that kind of paperwork? Skunk, light him on fire.
[Serenity's crew and passengers are gathered around the table, laughing.]
Mal: I thought I was gonna die.
Inara: How could he possibly—
Mal: Oh, the colonel was dead drunk. Three hours pissin' on about the enlisted men. Uh, "they're scum", uh, "they're not fighters", and, uh… and then he passed right out — boom.
Zoe: We couldn't even move him. So, uh, Tracey just… snipped it right off his face.
Mal: And you never seen a man more proud of his moustache than Colonel Obrin. I mean, in all my life , I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret.
Zoe: Big, walrus-y thing — all waxed up!
Inara: Did he find out?
Mal: Oh! Next mornin', he wakes up, it's gone, and he is furious! But he can't just say, you know, "Someone stole my moustache!" So he, uh, calls together all the platoons…
Zoe: We thought he was gonna shoot us!
Mal: … and, uh… Oh, he's eye-ballin' all the men somethin' fierce. Not a word. And he comes up to Tracey, and Tracey's wearing the gorram thing on his face!
Zoe: He had glued it on!
Mal: He's starin' the old man down wearing his own damn moustache!
[As Simon starts an autopsy on Tracey's body, the man screams and starts thrashing about.]
Jayne: Spry for a dead fella!
. . .
[Mal manages to pin Tracey to the floor, straddling him.]
Tracey: Sarge?
Mal: Yeah?
Tracey: I think I'm naked.
. . .
Mal: You wanna explain to me exactly why you got yourself all corpsified and mailed to me?
Mal: So, your innards… ain't your innards?
[The crew walks onto the bridge followed by Tracey]
Wash: I think they're about done being stalled to- ahhhh...AHHHHHHH! Mal, your dead army buddy's on the bridge.
Zoe: He ain't dead.
Wash: ...Oh...
[Mal and Wash are attempting to stall Womack, who is pursuing them.]
Womack: I'm a dangerous man on a ship loaded with hurt. Why you got me chattin' with your peons?
[Wash is flying through the canyon with debris falling onto the ship, Mal isn't flying comfortable]
Wash: Woo! This kind of flying really wakes a guy up!
Mal: Awake is good!
[Wash is perilously flying through a narrow canyon trying to evade Womack]
Wash: They'd have to be insane to follow us through here.
[Realizes Womack is simply following them above the canyon]
Wash: Oh...
[Tracey is holding Kaylee at gunpoint when the bombardment stops.]
Mal: Hear that quiet? Means the call's already been made.
Tracey: Well, that call… that call means you just murdered me.
[Behind him, Jayne cocks his rifle. As Tracey spins, Mal shoots him.]
Mal: No, son. You murdered yourself. I just carried the bullet a while.
[As Tracey lies dying, the ex-soldiers finally complete the old saying.]
Tracey: When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that…
Zoe: … you find someone to carry you.

COMMENTS

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 9:43 AM

DUN


Reminds me why I'm here.thanks,looking forward to the next one and just really shiny


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