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Brownquotes...Serenity the BDM part2
Saturday, April 25, 2009

Zoe: In the time of war, we never would've left a man stranded.
Mal: Maybe that's why we lost.
Jayne: I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight… If he bothers me, or if there's a woman… Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly only when I'm gettin' paid.
Kaylee: Don't ride in anything with a Capissen 38 engine, they fall right out of the sky.
Kaylee: We're [going] on a year now, I ain't had nothing 'twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries.
[Wash and Zoe glance at each other, embarrassed]
Mal: Oh, God! I can't know that!
Jayne: [Eyeing Kaylee] I could stand to hear a little more.
[Mal greets Fanty and Mingo, identical twins.]
Mal: Fanty, Mingo.
Mingo: He's Mingo.
Mal: He's Fanty, you're Mingo.
Mingo: How is it you always know?
Mal: Fanty's prettier.
Fruity Oaty Bar Jingle: Fruity Oaty Bars! Make a man out of a mouse! Fruity Oaty Bars! Make you bust out of your blouse! Eat them all the time! Let them blow your mind, ohh! Fruity Oaty Bars!
[River has just started a bar fight.]
Jayne: Hey, tussle!
Mal: [Realizing River is the one beating the bar patrons senseless] Jayne…
[After River's swift incapacitation of a barful of patrons, the crew regroups on Serenity.]
Mal: [to Simon] I believe you got some storytelling to do. What in the hell happened back there?
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl, 'cause…I don't think that's ever getting old.
Mr Universe: [Watching the recording of the bar fight] You guys always bring me the very best violence.
[They watch the rest of the fight, which ends with Simon shouting a safe word that causes River to lose consciousness]
Mr Universe: ...And she falls asleep. Which, she would be sleepy.
Mr. Universe: You can't stop the signal, Mal. Everything goes somewhere, and I go everywhere.
River: Show me off like a dog. Old men covered in blood; it never touched them but they're drowning in it.
River: Put a bullet to me… Bullet in the brainpan, squish.
Book: You got a plan?
Mal: Hiding ain't a plan?
. . .
[Mal mentions that he could have left River behind.]
Book: It's not your way, Mal.
Mal: I have a way? That better than a plan?
Mal: It's of interest to me how much you seem to know about that world.
Book: I wasn't born a Shepherd, Mal.
Mal: You have to tell me about that sometime.
Book: [Pauses] No, I don't.
[After the crew, eavesdropping on a 'wave between Mal and Inara, sees Inara invite the crew to join her at the companion training house]
Wash: Inara. Nice to see her again.
Zoe: So…trap?
Mal: Trap.
Zoe: Are we going in?
Mal: Oh, it ain't but a few hours out.
Wash: Yeah, but, remember the part where it's a trap?
. . .
Kaylee: But how can you be sure Inara don't just wanna see you? Sometimes people have feelings. And I'm referring here to…people.
Mal: You all were watching, I take it?
Kaylee: Yes.
Mal: Did you see us fight?
Kaylee: No.
Mal: Trap.
Mal: Zoe, the ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me; if you don't hear from me within the hour; you take this ship and you come and you rescue me!
Zoe: What? And risk my ship?
Mal: I mean it. It's cold out there, and I don't want to get left.
[Mal, wearing a robe covered in tassels, kneels next to Inara in front of a Buddhist shrine.]
Mal: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony, and a plastic rocket, and one of those—
Inara: Mal, what are you doing here?
Mal: ...Well...you invited me...
Inara: Yes, but I never thought in a million years that you'd be stupid enough to actually come!
Mal: Well, that makes you sort of a tease, now, doesn't it?
The Operative: I have to say, Captain, I'm impressed that you would come for her yourself. And that you would make it this far…in that outfit.
Mal: I can be very graceful when I need to.
The Operative: I've no doubt.
Mal: She is a mite unpredictable. Mood swings, of a sort.
The Operative: It's worse than you know.
Mal: It usually is.
The Operative: That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain.
Mal: The way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it.
[He turns to Inara.]
Mal: Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.
Mal: I never credited the Alliance with an overabundance of brains, and if you're the best they've got–
The Operative: Captain Reynolds, I should tell you so you don't waste your time. You cannot make me angry.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him.
The Operative: I already know you will not see reason.
Mal: The Alliance wanted to show me reason, they shouldn't have sent an assassin.
The Operative: I have a warship in deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you hit atmo. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location inside of three minutes.
Mal: You do that, you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord.
[Mal tosses a mechanism at the Operative.]
The Operative: [catching the mechanism, then realizing what it is] ...Pulse beacon.
Mal: Advice from an old tracker. If you want to find someone, use your eyes.
The Operative: I'm not threatening you. I'm unarmed.
Mal: Good.
[Mal shoots the Operative, who falls behind a curtain. Mal grabs Inara and turns to leave.]
The Operative: [Grabbing Mal from behind] I am, of course, wearing full body armor. I am not a moron.
The Operative: Nothing here is what it seems.
[approaches Mal with his sword]
The Operative: He is not the plucky hero. The Alliance is not an evil empire. This is not the grand arena–
Inara: And that's not incense.
[The Operative turns, and a flash bomb throws him across the room]

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