I've been there, too. In fact, I was there last night. Weird how that happened to more than one of us.

I have no magic answer either, but the best thing is to give it time and not expect too much from yourself. Enjoy the good things you can find and try to keep from taking it out on anyone else. I felt better today just by being pleasant to people around me and getting a positive response. It reminded me that I do have some worth and that meant a lot.

Best wishes and continued success.

Sun's out. I made some phone calls and sparkled professionally (if I was purtier, I could qualify as a companion cause I sure as hell wasn't feelin' it). The word is out that I am available for hire. So that much is at least under way...

Thanks for the support, BTW. It's good to know that you aren't alone out in the black. Sometimes it's easier to talk to folks you don't know--less worry about expectations and reputations, if you know what I mean.

I just gotta stop thinking so much...yeah, that's not likely...and get more doing in. Hate it when those moods hit. And it seems like they hit at the worst times.

Anyway, gotta turn in now so I can be fresh for work. Tomorrow is big day. Getting hair cut. Yay me.

Only unhappy people need to see a counselor. The rest of us take soma.

No, I'm kidding. Really, really kidding.

Because I was up at that hour too(for much the same reason), and I wish I'd seen your entry then. I've been there, and I'm there hard right now.

The first step to getting out of the hole is realizing you're in one. Congrats. I'm serious. You're not just wondering why everything is dark, claustrophobic and smelling like dirt.

Much as I'd like to oblige for pity's sake, shooting you is only for when the Reavers have you, if you no longer have any other agency or choice. Because you do. I've seen your other posts--you're stronger than that, PlainJayne.

Just focus on getting out of the hole--as clear as I can see, this means what you said--just doing it. Forcing yourself to do things. It will suck, and it will suck horribly--but you will feel better having done something. Even if the rest of it still sucks, you're building something to get out on.

This is going to sound trite, but sometimes the cure hurts as much as the poison.

Look yourself in the eye: okay self, what I have been doing really isn't working. Not only am I emotionally tortured and lost, but I haven't found a way to alleviate that yet. Need to work on a solution asap.

And I think a good one to start on would be working on whatever you mentioned that needs to get done in the next two weeks--that way you won't be in the red on top of everything else.

Don't take it all together--you can't do everything at once. Eliminate one thing at a time and the good it does is exponential.

Pulling for you.
--AnotherSky

Been there myself as well,hope you turn the corner soon.

Those occasional deep melancholy fits sound quite a bit like depression.

Don't worry, I'm not going to say you should go talk to someone. Unlike what pop culture, the media, and pharmaceutical companies would like you to think, going to a therapist or taking pills isn't the answer to everything. Especially when it sounds like to me that you keep yourself pretty functional, if a bit grumpy at times.

I know what you're talking about, and I think and hope you can pull yourself out. Try to do stuff you enjoy, make yourself do it even if you don't think you have the energy. I can't tell you how many times I've been stressed or just plain down, not want to do anything, but I go for a hike up in the mountains and in ten minutes it clears me right up. It's all about finding how to cope with your brain when it turns on you.

Though, if you come to the point where things are getting rough in the relationships you care about, or it seems like nothing you can do will shake it, well, maybe that's when you've come to a point that relying on yourself to get through isn't enough.