TEASER

EXT. FIELD - DAY

The sun is shining as the crew of Serenity is at a picnic in a grassy meadow. A basket full of food and drink is shared by all. Mal stands to make a toast.

MAL "Before we get on with this--" (looks to Jayne, who has started. Then stops.) "I want to make this 'Screw it' day an annual tradition. For too long--"

ZOE "Since it is 'Screw it' day, can we screw the speech and get on with the food?"

KAYLEE "And don’t forget the" (reads bottle and severely butchers) "Champ Pagney?"

Without confirmation from Mal, the crew drains their glasses and begins helping themselves.

SIMON "I’d like to thank the individual who thought it best to pair champagne with chicken."

KAYLEE "What is this chicken you speak of?"

INARA "It’s a bird. It tastes like...you know that protein fiber that tastes like everything? It tastes like that, but better."

ZOE (to Jayne who is taking first and most) "Did you ever hear of 'he who is last shall be first?'"

JAYNE "First to get screwed, yeah."

This gets a few laughs as we move down to River, who has not eaten or said anything. She smiles as she vicariously joins in their fun.

MAL (to River) "You look happy."

She does.

MAL "Then let’s get started."

He takes off his coat and as he does we see that his hands are now a deep blue.

As River draws in breath to scream, we

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. SERENITY CARGO BAY - CONTINUOUS

River is laughing away in a corner as the crew carries on with daily business. Mal and Zoe doing inventory, Jayne cleaning various weapons, and the rest stop what they are doing in reaction to River.

KAYLEE "Honey, what is it?"

RIVER (still laughing and to herself) "That looks just about right."

CUT BACK TO:

EXT. FIELD - CONTINUOUS

The rest of the crew now has blue hands and begins to advance on River. Kaylee is in the lead, with Inara and Simon following.

River begins to back up, slowly at first. Kaylee extends her hand, causing River to jump back and trip over a tree limb.

She looks away from her attackers and spots something a few feet away. River lights up and immediately goes for it.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. SERENITY CARGO BAY - CONTINUOUS We see a dumbbell near River’s feet as she crawls towards Jayne’s open bag.

INARA (to Simon) "What’s wrong with her?"

SIMON "Let’s just back off and give her some room."

River digs through the bag and begins to breathe easier. She pulls a few tins out, when WHAM! Jayne grabs her by the shoulders, lifts her off the ground, and slams her into a wall.

JAYNE "What do you think you’re doing?!?" (shakes her) "Answer me!"

River shuts her eyes, looks away, and gives off a few sobs. The crew moves to break them up.

MAL "Jayne, let her go. I’m sure she’ll look better in your make-up than you do."

JAYNE (annoyed) "It’s face paint."

ZOE "Jayne..."

JAYNE "This freak was stealing my stuff."

INARA "I didn’t know you could steal from a thief."

JAYNE "Well, I’m sick of being the punch-line to her sick little jokes." (leans in close enough to touch noses) "It’s time she learned a lesson."

CUT BACK TO:

EXT. FIELD - CONTINUOUS

The sunny day is now full of storm clouds and a howling wind. The blue-handed crew has surrounded River. They now all look blank-eyed and feral. A Jayne-like creature pins River to a tree. He leans in and brushes a fork-shaped tongue across her nose.

River opens her eyes and stares at Jayne. It’s like someone hit a switch inside of her. River breaks his grip and slams her fist across his face. He stumbles back and River begins thrashing him like someone possessed. Over and over she hits him with a feral look of her own on her face. The rest of the crew-creatures move in.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. SERENITY CARGO BAY - CONTINUOUS

The crew has Jayne, who is a bloodied mess.

SIMON (grabs River’s arm) "Okay, River, that’s enough."

She takes a breath, glances at Simon’s hand on her arm, and ...BAM! She gives him a vicious uppercut. He goes reeling and River turns to give the rest of the crew a “who’s next” look.

END OF TEASER

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Okay, River seems crazier now than before, but I'm going somewhere... Check out Chapter 2 to see what I mean. And be sure to leave some feedback below before you do.