My apologies for deleting and then being forced to repost.

In Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 a freak accident has given River her sanity back. So if you haven't read the beginning: get cracking!

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ACT TWO

INT. INFIRMARY - CONTINUOUS

RIVER "Am I saying this or just thinking it?"

SIMON "So I’m not crazy?"

RIVER "What are you asking me for?"

They exchange a look. Then a smile. Then a hug.

RIVER "Simon! I’m naked!"

SIMON "I don’t care."

The infirmary door bursts open and Mal and Zoe enter in argument.

MAL "No, Zoe. No more arguing." (sees River) "And she’s not even restrained." (takes out gun)

SIMON "Captain--"

Simon is shoved out of the way and Mal puts the barrel to River’s forehead.

ZOE "You’re going to set her off again."

RIVER "It’s not like I never had a gun pointed at me."

MAL "Right!" (wait a minute...) "Excuse me?"

RIVER "Zoe did it just a minute ago for no reason. And earlier...did you shoot me?" (thinks a beat) "How many times a day do you have to shoot me?"

MAL (to Simon) "What the hell is this?"

ZOE "River?"

SIMON "If you’d point the gun away from her, I just might be able to figure it out."

RIVER (well, duh...) "What’s to figure? Mal shot me in the spine--thanks for that by the way--when Simon removed the bullet and repaired the damage there was a marked increase in my cognitive abilities producing the results you see--and apparently want to eliminate--now." (off their stares) "Did I go too fast?"

ZOE "River, do you think you want to hurt anyone?"

RIVER (re: Mal’s gun) "I think it’s funny you ask me that when there’s a gun to my head."

ZOE (puts Mal’s gun down) "Put it away, captain." (to River) "So you’re really okay?"

RIVER "Other than the huge memory gaps and nakedness?"

SIMON (pulls out dress) "Here. It’s your dress."

RIVER (looks at it with disgust) "That’s my dress? It’s got flowers and a twirly skirt. It’s awful."

SIMON "You wear dresses like these all the time."

RIVER "When I was ten. I’d rather be naked."

SIMON "I’ll find something else. Zoe?" (she nods, then to Mal) "Can I leave you two alone?"

ZOE (as she exits) "Captain?"

MAL "Not unless she shoots first."

Simon and Zoe exit.

Mal looks at River, puts his gun away, and leans in.

MAL "Is this some kind of trick?"

RIVER "You’ll have to excuse me, captain. I’ve just had major surgery and my head’s not quite right...you’re accusing me of tricking you into something?"

MAL "Are you going to kill us in our sleep?"

RIVER "No. I don’t want to hurt anyone."

MAL "Well if you only thought that way a few hours ago."

RIVER "What?" (thinks) "I killed someone in their sleep?"

MAL (disbelief) "You honestly don’t remember?"

RIVER "Yes. Well, no." (looks at his hands) "Sometimes, I remember wrong." MAL (still disbelief) "And now you’re all better?"

RIVER "I don’t know about all better. But better than before." (kisses his cheek) "I don’t know what to say...I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for you."

Simon enters with some clothes just in time to see River kiss Mal.

SIMON "River, only a head case would do that and you don’t have that excuse anymore."

CUT TO:

INT. SERENITY HALLWAY - LATER

Simon, Mal, and River, dressed in dark pants and a maroon top, exit the infirmary.

MAL "Why do you think you can leave the infirmary?"

RIVER "With all due respect, Captain, I’ve been a prisoner for long enough." (to Simon) "Do we still have some of those apples?"

SIMON "River, that was months ago."

RIVER "Really? What else has happened?"

As they walk, they pass pictures of Wash and Book. River stops, looks, and runs a hand over them.

SIMON "Do you remember?"

RIVER "Them? Yes. I don’t remember how. It probably had something to do with me. I just know...I’ll never get to tell them."

MAL "Tell them what?"

RIVER "Everything..."

River moves away and Mal and Simon follow her into--

INT. SERENITY - CARGO BAY

River, Mal, and Simon enter just in time to see Zoe and Inara heading towards them.

INARA "Is it true? Can someone on this crew pass for normal?"

ZOE "Not saying much with this crew."

River smiles as Zoe pulls her into a very normal hug. She looks over to Mal and gives his arm a squeeze.

ZOE (re: Mal) "He still doesn’t believe it."

RIVER (releases her, to Mal) "You will save a lot of time and worry if you just straight out believe everything this woman says."

As Mal turns to see Zoe nodding in full agreement, Inara rushes in.

INARA (big smile) "River, it’s so wonderful to see you like this. I knew you were just as beautiful on the inside as you were on the out."

RIVER (steps back and without feeling) "Hello, Inara."

No one notices River exchange a cold look for Inara’s hurt one.

Simon grabs River from behind and lifts her off her feet as she gives off a laugh.

SIMON "Just wait till we tell Kaylee!"

RIVER "Do we have to?"

CUT TO:

INT. SERENITY ENGINE ROOM - A LITTLE LATER

Kaylee is still absentmindedly cleaning the engine room when she turns and sees--

KAYLEE "River!"

Like her former self, River stares at nothing and begins to wander aimlessly.

KAYLEE (rushes over) "What are you doing out of the infirmary? And what are you wearing? If the captain finds you--Okay, let’s just get you back there before anyone sees."

Kaylee leads River to the door and leans out, looking left and right.

KAYLEE "Looks clear..."

She turns back to see River taking in a deep breath.

CUT TO:

INT. SERENITY CARGO BAY - SAME TIME

The crew, sans Jayne, looks to the engine room.

MAL "What do you suppose is going on up there?"

ZOE "What’s the worse that could happen?"

On cue, we hear River and Kaylee screaming at the top of their lungs. As one, the crew runs and exits into-

INT. SERENITY ENGINE ROOM - SECONDS LATER

Kaylee and River’s screams have turned into laughter as Kaylee begins to smack River, who has curled into a laughing ball on the floor.

KAYLEE (yelling, but happy) "What is the matter with you?!?"

RIVER (covering her head and laughing) "I haven’t laughed this hard in I don’t know how long, but it was worth it."

The crew rushes in and takes a breath as they see everything seems normal.

KAYLEE (to River) "Are you going to explain or do I have to smack it out of you?" (off River’s laughing) "Anyone else got an idea?"

SIMON "I do. We should totally do that to Jayne."

CUT TO:

INT. DINING AREA - A LITTLE LATER

Jayne is finishing off his food. He is licking his fingers in a satisfactory manner and turns to see River right behind him.

He gives off a shout and takes a few steps back.

JAYNE "What do you think you’re doing?"

River is playing as her former self again. She looks up to see Jayne’s bruised face and begins to think with a focus less like her former self. She looks to the rest of the crew and sees more bruises and bandages. Then she looks down at her hands and sees bruises on her knuckles.

At the top of her lungs, River screams.

END OF ACT TWO

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