Title: Everything But the Kitchen Sink Rating: pg Pairing: Simon Kaylee Word Count: 506 Summary: Simon puts his foot in his mouth again Disclaimer: I own nothing

Authors note: Beta by Squish who is *as always* awesome. I'm usually a Jaylee writer, but I want everyone to know before they read this that it *is* a Silee story. I ship Jaylee more often, but I enjoy Simon and Kaylee as well. You are warned.

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"Kaylee?"

"I’m not speaking to you, Doctor," Kaylee’s curt tone echoed from under the engine block. Simon sighed and leaned in the doorway for a moment.

"Kaylee please talk to me," he pleaded.

"What’s there to talk about? You think I’m fat!" she announced, still not coming out from under the engine. Simon felt like banging his head against the wall. How had his saying that she had a healthy appetite translate into her being fat? Women were…confusing. Simon supposed he could see the thought pattern that would bring Kaylee to this conclusion, he still didn’t understand it though.

"That isn’t what I meant, Kaylee. Please come out and talk to me." The sound of a wrench dropping on the metal grates made Simon jump a little. Kaylee rolled out from under the machine and looked up at Simon with a cocked eyebrow. She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well?" she asked.

"I’m sorry," Simon said. Her eyes continued to pierce his and he knew he needed to keep going. "For saying that I thought you had a healthy appetite. I didn’t mean to imply that you are overweight. In fact, I would say, from a doctor’s point of view of course, that you are the absolute perfect weight."

"Perfect weight?" she asked, her head tilting to the side and her voice losing some of it’s bite.

"Yes, of course, but that certainly shouldn’t come as a shock to you," Simon said. He hadn’t dropped the ball yet, he just hoped he could keep it up.

"Why is that?" Kaylee asked, genuine confusion written on her face.

"Well, because I don’t think I have met anyone more perfect than you are," Simon grinned. There was a moment of silence in which Simon thought he had over done it. Talking to girls had never been his strong suit. Patients were easier…much easier. That was when he saw it, the way her eyes glossed over for a moment and a small smile broke across her lips.

"You think I’m perfect?" she asked, taking a step forward and tilting her head up at him.

"Well I…"

"Chow time!" Jayne said, clapping Simon on the back and winking at Kaylee. Simon scowled at the mercenary and turned back to Kaylee only to see that the moment had passed again. The glow in her eyes had dimmed some and she was busy shooting daggers out of her eyes at Jayne.

"I suppose we should go eat before the food is all gone," Simon said, clearing his throat.

"What, ‘fraid there won’t be ‘nough food to feed chubby lil’ Kaylee?" the mechanic asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"What?!" Simon exclaimed, looking back for help. Jayne was already gone, not that he would have been much help anyway. "Kaylee, I didn’t mean that at all! I just…"

"Calm down, Simon," Kaylee giggled, the frown on her face replaced by a bright smile. "You really make it too easy. Come on, we better go ‘fore Jayne eats everything."