Welcome To The Pleasuredome

Mal would have liked to have drawn it out a little longer, but the look on Inara’s face is so very funny. Composure gone, she looks like she’s been goosed but good.

She is not at all what Inara has been expecting. Rather ordinary, a woman, not a girl, dark hair falling out of its clip around a face more characterized by humour than beauty. Dressed in coveralls and a too big apron, even in boots, she barely reaches up to Jayne’s chin.

Ilargia sees an elegant young woman, astonishingly beautiful, but mainly just astonished. Delicate eyebrows raised over liquid dark eyes gone round, a soft mouth dropped open in shock. And Mal, grinning like a fiend over her shoulder.

She fights free of Jayne’s grip, blushing a little, but laughing.

“Ms Inara Serra? Pleased to meet you. I’m Ilargia Cobb.”

If this is a joke, then it’s very good. But - there was cheerful passion in that kiss. She’s trained to know that sort of thing. Gets control of her jaw, and hitches back her smile. How did a woman so obviously from the Central Planets end up so at home on Serenity, and - whatever - with Jayne Cobb?

Rest of the crew turn up to greet her. Kaylee, who doesn’t bear grudges, makes her feel a bit better, sweet and cheerful as always. Zoe no longer looks quite as haunted, Simon looks a little less tense. And River...some measure of stability to her, now.

But Mal is at ease, which is not something Inara has had cause to see often. And Jayne...Jayne has a swagger in his step and she’s never seen him try to be gentle before. She’s always thought him to be coarse and brutal, a crude thug with no redeeming qualities. But he clearly adores his...wife. And the strange thing is, the woman actually seems to like him, too.

He’s had some kind of beating fairly recently, and he moves stiffly. But he catches her back up in one arm as she goes past, and she leans and kisses him under the jaw like it’s the most natural thing in the ‘verse.

“Newly-weds.” Mal rolls his eyes. “Put her down, Jayne. Gonna pop your ribs again.”

The Cobbs ignore him, as usual.

“You gotta try a cookie, ‘Nara.” Kaylee whisks the tray away from Mal.

Inara is still off her centre. Tastes the offering. No packet mix or protein here. Real thing.

So many questions, but how to phrase them?

“I’ve been away two months, and suddenly Jayne’s married?”

“I think he’s as surprised as anyone.” Kaylee grins. “It’s a real romantic tale, ‘Nara.”

“Oh, thrillin’ heroics.” Mal interrupts. “But you don’t want to be bothered with our small doings, now. You had mention of a job?”

“Shall we discuss it after dinner? I had assumed that you would like a chance to freshen up first.”

“Well, ain’t that a coincidence. How this whole thing started...” Mal is being deliberately irritating. So she ignores him. She has the vague feeling that she may have made a slight fool of herself, which makes her cross.

Mal’s in high good humour. Striking sparks off ‘Nara is always fun. Watching the porcelain mask slip, the glaze crack.

0000

It all starts with Kaylee realising that she‘s gonna get a chance to wear her party dress.

“Gotta wear something fancy, place like this.”

“At least you have a dress - I’m still in your spare coveralls.” Ilargia flicks the zip, ruefully.

“That’s easy to solve.” Inara’s smile warms, and she looks suddenly younger. “I’ll lend you something.”

What did Jayne do? Kidnap the woman naked? She wouldn’t put it past him.

0000

The guest bathrooms are quite something; cedarwood tubs adding their own fragrance to the water, separated by rice paper screens, but with a window view out over the mountains. In their room, the women chat and laugh, as soft-footed attendants bring tea and gowns.

“I was running a cargo home from Persephone, when Fate, in the person of Mr Badger, arranged my transport.” Ilargia is locked in combat with a length of jade silk. “Bloody stuff...Well, I got myself into a bit of trouble, and this lot came back for me.”

“Jayne hijacked the ship. With some help from River.” Zoe clarifies.

“Heard there was trouble.” River shakes her head. “Can’t ask the Captain. Have to tell him.”

“Jayne carried her out of a house fire...”

“Like a sack of potatoes, very romantic...” Ilargia interjects dryly.

“An’ they’ve been together ever since.”

“There was a small matter of attempted kidnapping, as well.” Ilargia tries to keep her voice light, but there is a shaky note. Kaylee gives her a quick, worried pat on the arm, and River hugs her. (Not many secrets on Serenity, and they all have nightmares sometimes.)

“That’s where Jayne got himself knocked about.”

“Should have seen the other guy.” Ilargia manages a smile. (Her right hand flexes.) “After that, I fancied a change of scene.”

“And she fancied Jayne.” Kaylee chips in.

“Which nobody understands.” Zoe.

“Pasiphae.” says River. Ilargia looks blank for a moment, then grins at her.

“Load of old bull.”

Inara gets the joke, too, splutters with laughter. Zoe and Kaylee, who are by now getting used to the fact that their cook can actually understand River half the time, smile tolerantly.

Ilargia unclips her hair, and it unwinds down her back.

“You got such pretty hair.” Kaylee sighs.

“Every time I mention cutting it, Himself throws a tantrum.” But she smiles, runs her fingers back through it.

“Loves to lose himself in the waves.” River grins. “Makes him happy.”

“He likes to brush my hair.” Ilargia explains to Inara. “And, you, brat, told you, no peeking.” (Tone is indulgent.)

“Not peeking. Pair of you are blatant.” River jerks her head. “Worse than them.”

Kaylee squeaks in protest, but can’t do more with Inara painting her eyes.

Ilargia finally gets the knack of her draperies, eyes the line of her dress over her shoulder.

“Actually makes me look taller and thinner.” She sighs, happily.

“That dress is going to get...mauled.” Zoe predicts.

“Companion wear is pretty maul-proof.” Inara smiles. “Are you sure you don’t want..?” Zoe stops her gently.

“Gonna stick with my old dress a while longer.”

Wore it to marry him, wore it to bury him, wears it to remember him.

0000

Mal settles back in the bathtub.

“Don’t see why we have to wash before dinner.” There’s the sound of something large displacing water beyond the rice-paper screen.

“Maybe because you smell?” Simon is already in his own tub.

“Do not.” Pause. “Larji never said.” Edge of uncertainty.

“I think that poor woman’s nose has shut down in self defence.”

“Bi zui.” Mal calls a halt before someone gets drowned. “We could all do with some freshenin’. Thought you were keen on baths, now, Jayne?”

“Only if I got Larji in with me.” A deep chuckle. “Woman’s real thorough in her cleanin’...”

“Sharing!” A sponge lobs over.

Mal sinks until only his nose is above the water. Top three per cent and the lowest common denominator.

0000

The men are shifting nervously by the bottom of the staircase. Zoe, having declined to be made up or fussed overmuch, paces down to them. Mal grins, bows over her hand.

“Looking mighty fine, Zoe.”

“Thank you, sir.” Zoe grins back. “Wait until our Doctor gets a sight of Kaylee.”

She’s right. Kaylee reduces Simon to a puddle, blushing and stammering as he offers his elbow. Kaylee’s kinda pleased by this. ‘Nara has persuaded her to borrow a blue-green thing ( calls it teal, which Kaylee always thought was a duck) an’ she feels like a proper lady in it.

Jayne’s never seen Ilargia in a skirt before, let alone something slinky like she’s wearing. She looks…expensive and delicate, touch of paint making her eyes even more exotic. But it’s her crooked grin up at him, as she says,

“I feel like this thing is going to slither off me any second.”

Jayne grins hopefully. Thought of sliding silk off his wife makes him forget all about dinner. She gives a little half turn.

“You like it?”

“Hell, yeah.” Wipes his hands on his trousers, and checks them before he puts them on her hips. “Gonna mess up your paint.”

“Mess away.” Whispers in his ear. “Silk makes me feel naughty.”

Ain’t nothin’ to what it’s doing to Jayne.

Mal’s about to tell them to get a room, when he gets an eyeful of the vision on the stairs.

Dark hair bound up in a intricate and artful coronet, makes her hold her head like a queen. Mysterious eyes hold secrets in their smoky depths, soft lips an explosion of colour against ivory skin. Whisper of gold earrings against a smooth throat, exquisite grace in every line of her. Dancer’s slim body outlined in the silk draperies, colour of flame.

Zoe looks rapidly between the two of them. Then turns her eyes further up the stairs, to where Inara is surveying her handiwork with a pleased smile.

Storm’s coming.