"THANKS, ALAN!" OR "THE EVENTS SURROUNDING MY CRAPTACULAR DAY"

Friday, November 2, 2007 4:21:13 PM

Well today turned out to be the crappiest of days! I recently moved out of my dad's house into my own apartment. I had to put school on hold and get a full time job. Why? Because my childhood "home" was no longer safe. Daddy-dear had a mid-life crisis and started dating a crack-whore. Then he gave up on trying to "save" her and started dating her twin sister - also a crack-whore.

So my bank calls me today and - SURPRISE! My checking account is overdrawn $400!

Apparently, when I moved out, I left behind a box of checks - which were stolen recently, I guess. - God only knows who took them - but I'm pretty sure I could figure it out in three guesses...

So I had to go to the bank, fill out forms, go to the police station, fill out forms... Plus I actually caused a scene in the middle of a gas station screaming at my father. Me. Screaming. In a public place. It was completely out of character and kinda epic - at least for me. It felt kinda good. I hope I embarrased the hell out of him.

Afterward, I went to my favorite coffee shop to chill out and down the street, what was playing!?! Death At A Funeral! So I went. All by myself. I laughed a lot. It cheered me mightily, cackling at Alan's facial expressions and naked butt. *sigh* Good times.

So thanks, Alan, you brilliant Master of Comedy. You totally improved my day.