Fandom: Firefly Series: Equations Title: Between a Rock and a Hard Place Author: meimei42 (Dani) 30_angsts Theme(s): Interest (~crying for you one last time) Pairing/Characters: Jayne/Kaylee Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer/claimer (if needed): Post BDM, I do not own any of it. Summary: Kaylee and Jayne get themselves into some more trouble Word Count: 1737

Author's Note: Betaed by squish_67 who always offers me the truth of what she thinks. There were a couple parts I added after she looked at it, so if there are mistakes, it's probably in those parts, my apologies. Thanks to reenie1 for sending my muse chocolate. This is for my 30_angsts challenge. Image by the awesomely, wonderful maantre P.s. there is some implied slashiness in this chap.

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Kaylee watched Jayne go, feeling a little weak in the knees.

“Kaylee?” Inara asked. “Kaylee?”

“Hmm?” the mechanic said, staring off in the direction the mercenary had disappeared.

“Jayne headed towards the bridge with a gun,” Inara said, her voice touched with anxiety.

“Jayne’s always got guns,” Kaylee said, mentally shrugging it off as she relived the last few moments in her head again. The kiss kept happening in her mind over and over again.

“Yes, but does he usually have it drawn if he is intending no harm?” Inara inquired further. Kaylee paused then turned towards the bridge.

“Jayne!” she called. Both women looked at each other then hurried up the stairs towards the cockpit. They could hear Jayne before they reached him.

“…and Kaylee want and not no one is gonna tell us we can’t do that. Don’t mean t’hurt the doc’s feelin’ or nothin’ but honestly this got nothin’ ta do with the doc no more.” Jayne’s gun was pointed at Mal who was leaning back in his seat and staring up at the mercenary unblinkingly.

“Jayne,” Kaylee said, stepping onto the bridge.

“Not now, Kaylee. Cap’n and me are havin’ a little talk. Sorta similar to the one we just had in my bunk, only this time it ain’t me with the gun pointed at my head,” Jayne said, not turning towards Kaylee.

“You pointed a gun at his head, Cap’n?” Kaylee asked frowning.

“He’s pointin’ a gun at me NOW!” Mal proclaimed, waving his arm in Jayne’s direction. Kaylee reached out and lowered the gun that was in Jayne’s hand back to his side. She was almost surprised he let her.

“Stop this, both of you. Shootin’ each other ain’t gonna fix nothin’,” Kaylee proclaimed.

“It might,” Jayne growled.

“No, it won’t,” she said firmly.

“I want you off my boat, Jayne,” Mal said, standing up.

“Cap’n,” Kaylee pleaded, sensing the rise in tension.

“No, Kaylee. The day my mercenary comes and points a gun at my head is the day he is off my gorram boat. Some people might call what Jayne here just did mutiny. I won’t be havin’ mutiny on my boat,” Mal said firmly.

“Mal,” Inara said, shaking her head.

“Cap’n, you kick Jayne off this boat, I’m leavin’ too,” Kaylee announced. Not that she wanted to leave Serenity, it was her home, her livelihood, but she couldn’t just let Mal throw Jayne off the boat.

“Fine you’re both off my boat. I need a doctor and a pilot a whole hell of a lot more than I need a mechanic and a mercenary. We leave in one hour, have your stuff packed,” Mal announced, storming past them. Inara looked between Jayne and Kaylee before running after Mal.

The bridge was dead silent for a moment, Jayne and Kaylee both not looking at each other. “Kaylee…” Jayne started.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. He’s right. Folk like us are a dime a dozen,” Kaylee shook her head and turned to go to her bunk and pack her things. At least Simon wouldn’t have to decide what he had to do now.

~*~*~*~*~

“Mal!” Inara called, running after the captain. He didn’t turn to face her as he stalked off towards the lounge. “Mal!”

“I’m not in the mood for your wiles, Inara, so why don’t we try this dance another day?” the captain suggested.

“No, I think now is a good time to talk,” Inara shook her head, struggling to keep up. Mal reached the lounge and turned to face her, his face red with anger.

“She made her bed, Inara. Both of them did, and now they’re gonna have to lie in it,” he growled.

“Why does this upset you so much?” the companion asked, confusion written on her face. Mal’s head dropped and his shoulder’s sagged. He looked defeated. He said nothing and Inara was compelled to press further. “Mal?”

He raised his head and looked up at her. His eyes tormented, it was a look she was accustomed to seeing on Mal’s face, but not with this sort of intensity. “She had a good thing with Simon. Maybe it wasn’t perfect but the doc tried his best…” The words hung out there for a moment and Inara’s eyes widened suddenly.

“Mal…”

“Don’t say it,” the captain shook his head.

“I had no idea you had feelings for him,” Inara whispered.

“I don’t wanna talk ‘bout it,” Mal growled, beginning.

“Does Simon know?” Inara asked, watching him carefully.

Mal sighed and shook his head. “No…no one knows, ‘cept maybe River, but it ain’t easy hidin’ things from a reader. No one knows and it’s gonna stay that way.” He stared at her for a long moment before sitting on the couch. Inara sat by him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you say something to him?” she inquired, her eyes holding his in place.

“Never was the right time and then suddenly those two were off and married. Didn’t seem appropriate then,” Mal said. Inara nodded slowly, understanding how time could get away from a person. Mal stood and Inara called after him.

“Mal…don’t let them leave. Kaylee and Jayne…you need both of them, not matter how much you want to deny it. Be the captain I know you can be and find a way to fix this,” she pleaded. Mal didn’t look at her, just nodded and headed out of the lounge.

“I gotta think,” he announced before disappearing down the corridor.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kaylee climbed down into her bunk and froze when she saw Simon sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. She had assumed he would be in the infirmary. That was where he always was. Kaylee swallowed and dropped down off the last step. “Hey,” she said quietly.

“Hi,” Simon replied, not looking at her. There was a deafening silence that hung in the air as neither person said anything. Kaylee couldn’t handle this sort of quiet.

“Guess now is as good a time as any,” Kaylee let out long breath and leaned against the ladder.

“More good news?” Simon asked sarcastically.

“Guess you might say that,” she shrugged, pausing as she tried to find the words. “I’m leaving. Cap’n wants Jayne and I both t’go. Now you don’t gotta make up your mind ‘bout stayin’ here,” Kaylee said. Simon was silent for a long time, it was making Kaylee nervous. People were quiet when they were brooding.

“How long?” he asked finally.

“An hour.”

“Not very long,” Simon whispered.

“No…I guess not. Maybe it’s better this way,” she shrugged. Kaylee was a bit in denial. She couldn’t concentrate on the thought that she was leaving Serenity; it tore her stomach up more than she could stand. So she stayed focused on anything but the fact that her life was crumbling all around her and it had been broken by her own hands.

“Serenity is your home, Kaylee,” Simon said softly.

“It’s your home too,” Kaylee whispered back. “I’m the one who messed this all up, makes sense I should be the one t’leave.”

“Kaylee I am hurt beyond belief right now, but that doesn’t mean I want you to leave. There has to be some sort of compromise we can come to,” Simon said. She could see the logical side of the doctor coming through. He wasn’t thinking with his emotions anymore.

“You’re a better person than me, Simon, wantin’ me t’stay and all,” she said softly. He said nothing in response, just stared at the wall. There was a quiet in the room and Kaylee wasn’t sure what to do.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You said that,” Simon said.

“It’s true. I never meant to hurt you,” she reiterated.

“I know, but you did.” He paused and looked up at her. His eyes were red and for the first time Kaylee wondered if he had been crying while he was down here. “I never meant to hurt you either. I have to…Kaylee.” His voice broke and he looked away. Kaylee frowned and watched him uncertainly.

“What?”

“It’s just…for awhile I have been ignoring this, ignoring the distance that has been growing between us. I thought starting a family would make it all go away, but I just pushed us further and further apart. When I came down here….I-I..” his voice choked up and Kaylee moved to sit by him on the bed. She’d never in her life seen so much emotion out of Simon.

“Go on,” she urged.

“When I came down here I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt relieved. I was still hurting, but for the first time in a long while I felt as though things would be fine after all” Kaylee didn’t know how to take that. She ventured and put her arm around his shoulder and felt Simon lean into her just slightly.

“I love you still, Simon,” she breathed. “I don’t want us to hate one another, but I won’t blame you if you do.”

“I love you too, Kaylee,” Simon whispered back. “I don’t know what to think. I’m so angry I could yell, but then this feeling in my gut tells me that this is how it is supposed to be.”

“Maybe it is,” she ventured.

“Maybe,” Simon nodded.

~*~*~*~*~

Rived quietly crept out of her room, thoughts were buzzing in her head, thoughts she couldn’t push out. Everyone’s thoughts had been too loud for her to block out. She wasn’t going to sleep so she might as well walk. River took long, graceful steps, moving through the corridors, her fingers gliding against the hull of the ship. She spotted the captain from outside the doorway, his body slouching in the pilot’s seat. Mal stared out the bridge window, wishing he saw black instead of the setting sun. He didn’t like land, made him feel trapped. She silently observed him, the way his shoulders sagged, he was tired.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on a person,” Mal said, not turning to face her. River smiled and stepped onto the bridge.

“Didn’t sneak. Knew I was here,” she commented.

“Suppose you’re right,” the captain acquiesced, his voice dropping off. There was a silence as River took a seat in the chair next to him, neither looked at each other for a long moment.

“It will work out. Daddy will fix it,” she assured.

“I hope I can,” Mal whispered.