Fandom: Firefly Series: Equations Title: Farewell to Arms Author: meimei42 (Dani) 30_angsts Theme(s): 16. Appropriate; Are you sure? (~against temptation) Pairing/Characters: Jayne/Kaylee Simon, Mal, Zoe, River Rating: nc-17 (for some lovin') Disclaimer/claimer (if needed): Post BDM, I do not own any of it. Summary: River makes a plea on Jayne and Kaylee's account. Mal and Simon have a talk. Word Count: 3106

Author's Note: Betaed by Squish who always offers me the truth of what she thinks. There were a couple parts I added after she looked at it, so if there are mistakes, it's probably in those parts, my apologies. Thanks to Reenie for sending my muse chocolate. This is for my 30_angsts challenge. Image by the awesomely, wonderful maantre. I dedicate the chapter name to cheshire_monkey. *giggles* Arms. P.s. there is some implied slashiness in this chap. Also, I wouldn't say I've very strong with writing River, so hopefully she came out alright.

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Kaylee was practically bubbling over with excitement. This was her day. Well her and Simon’s day, but boys didn’t usually care as much about weddings as girls did. This had been Kaylee’s dream day for as long as she could remember. Inara stood to the side of her, holding Kaylee’s bouquet of flowers, River and Zoe just a few feet back from that. On Simon’s side she could see Mal and Jayne just behind Simon as well. All their family was there with them.

“Do you, Simon Tam, take Kaywinnet Lee Frye to be your lawfully wedded wife?” the preacher asked. Simon smiled down at her, a warm kind of smile that put butterflies in her stomach.

“I do,” he nodded.

“And do you, Kaywinnet Lee Frye, take Simon Tam to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the preacher asked, turning towards her.

‘You bet I do!’ almost escaped her lips, but a chaste, “I do,” was all that came out in the end.

“Then by the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Kaylee leaned forward so Simon could lay one on her. In the fleeting moment before their lips touched, Kaylee saw an odd spark in the captain’s eyes. He looked upset. Silly captain, he was being so over protective even on her wedding day. That was her ge-ge.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kaylee hadn’t expected Simon’s help packing, maybe she should have. He didn’t say it but he probably wanted her out of his sight as soon as possible. The two of them worked quickly in silence, Simon packing a box while Kaylee gathered her clothes together. “I never thought I would see this day,” the doctor said, shaking his head slowly.

“Me either,” Kaylee whispered. There was more tension filled silence as the two continued their tasks.

“I think that is about everything,” Simon said, placing the last item in the box. It wasn’t hard to pack up your things on a ship; there wasn’t much stuff you could collect out in the black--especially not on their salaries.

“Guess it is,” Kaylee whispered. She grabbed up her bag of clothes and slung it over her shoulder. Simon picked up the box and looked at her for a long moment.

“I’ll carry it,” he offered. She nodded and headed up the ladder and out of the bunk.

~*~*~*~*~

“Sir?” Zoe asked, her back straight as she watched Mal setting a course on the bridge. “Shouldn’t River be doing that?”

“I know how to set a course, Zoe,” Mal said, slightly irked.

“I’m sure you do, sir…just…well, the last time you set a course…”

“Zoe,” Mal warned.

“Sorry, sir,” she nodded, her face remaining blank. “Is something bothering you?”

“I’m losin’ some o’my crew at this stop, ‘course somethin’ is botherin’ me,” Mal shook his head, pressing a button. Nothing happened and he pressed it again and then again harder and harder until he finally just slapped his whole palm down on the thing. He paused, checking that it worked, and then continuing on with what he was doing.

“That’s what I came to talk to you about,” Zoe said, no emotion evident in her voice. “Are you sure it’s wise leaving Jayne and Kaylee here?”

“He pointed a gun at my head, Zoe, that’s mutiny. And she wants to go with him. Who am I to stop her?” Mal asked.

“Not that I condone pointing a gun at you, sir, but I don’t think he meant you any true harm. Do you think perhaps you are overreacting to all of this?” she asked. Mal finished entering in the coordinates of their next destination and stood.

“I’m the captain on this ship, Zoe, this is my call, not yours,” Mal said, anger singeing his voice.

“I am all aware of that, sir. I just thought…maybe you might want to reconsider?” Zoe offered. Their eyes locked for a moment before Mal slowly pushed past her and off the bridge.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jayne sat at the edge of the cargo bay trying to think of how he was gonna convince Kaylee to stay. Shouldn’t be too hard, Serenity was her girl, she wouldn’t wanna leave her, not really. Not that Jayne wanted Kaylee to stay here with Simon; he just didn’t want her leaving on his account. He cared about her too much to want her to have to leave her home. World was a big scary place. Jayne knew he’d be able to find work again, but Kaylee…there was a big ugly world out there, a world he wished she didn’t have to face like this. When he heard footsteps echoing down the ramp, he looked up to see Kaylee approaching, Simon just behind her.

Jayne rose, his body straightening to its full height. He was ready if the doc decided he had something to say, but Simon was quiet as a mouse. The doctor set a box down next to Kaylee’s feet a looked at her. They didn’t say nothing, but Simon leaned forward, giving Kaylee a hug. Jayne’s hand went to his gun without a though. He didn’t draw, just watched them wearily. The both pulled back from the embrace and Simon left without saying anything. When Kaylee turned back to Jayne her eyes were red and tired looking. It reminded him of their first night together.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“You’re awful quiet,” Jayne said, watching Kaylee carefully as she placed the card on the bed covers. He wasn’t sure how long they had been playing this gorram card game but Kaylee hadn’t said more than a few words all night.

“Sorry, Jayne...guess I’m just havin’ an off day,” she sighed, looking up at him. Her eyes--they were so tired, so haggard looking.

“You guys fought today?” Jayne asked, managing to keep his anger in check as he spoke. Simon always got under his skin, it made it hard for the mercenary to keep any kind of emotions in range when that gorram doctor was brought up.

“Don’t really feel like talkin’ ‘bout it,” she whispered. Jayne sighed and continued playing. He set his card down and waited for her. Her hand reached out, shaking as it slowly lowered a card to the bed.

“Kaylee?” he asked worriedly.

“I don’t wanna go back to my bunk tonight,” she said, looking up at him. She swallowed hard and set all of her cards down. She stood up from his bed and began to pace in the small space of his bunk. Jayne didn’t know what to do. She didn’t usually get like this. Cautiously he stood as well, reaching out and taking her hand.

“Sit down, Kaylee girl,” he coaxed, bringing her back to sit on the bed with him. He stared down at her as her eyes focused on the floor. “We don’t gotta talk ‘bout it if’n you don’t want to.”

“Thanks, Jayne,” she said quietly. There was silence and slowly Jayne wrapped his arm around her shoulder, not sure what else to do. He wasn’t really the comforting type. At the contact she looked up at him, eyes red and lost, yet…determined. They were begging him, pleading with him to make her forget. They both looked at each other and Jayne realized he wasn’t going to be able to stop himself. She wanted it just as badly as he did.

No words were spoken as his mouth slowly lowered to her neck, his fingers threading through her hair to bring her closer to him. She let out a soft moan and wrapped her arms around his neck as his mouth moved along the edge of her jaw and then down her throat. They should stop, Jayne knew they should stop, but he wanted to give this to her, give her what the doctor couldn’t.

Jayne slowly laid her back, one of his hands moving to the zipper on her coveralls as he slowly pulled it down. His hand slid inside, moving under her tee-shirt and up over her bra. She let out a moan of satisfaction that made Jayne smile to himself. He was going to make her feel real good. If there was one thing a Cobb was good at, it was pleasing a woman.

His lips hungrily devoured her flesh, careful not to leave marks, but the intensity never ceasing. He had waited for this for a long time and having Kaylee in his arms was about to push him over the edge. His hands moved and slipped her arms out of her coveralls, before pulling her shirt over head head. Ai ya she had a beautiful body. Why’d she always gotta cover it up in layers of clothes? His fingers reached behind her back and undid her bra with a flick of his wrist as his mouth leaned towards her taut nipples.

His tongue darted out and traced wet circles around her hardened areolas. Kaylee arched her back and pressed her breast further towards his mouth, urging him to continue. Jayne cupped the firm flesh in one hand as his other slid down the smooth skin of her stomach and to the edge of her pants. He undid the button and pulled the zipper down before slowly sliding his hand into her pants. Jayne sat up and looked at her stopping everything he was doing and giving her one last chance to say no. She nodded her head and Jayne moved his hand further down her pants, rubbing her lower nethers.

The moan it elicited from her lips egged Jayne on and he pushed a finger into her depths. Kaylee’s hands reached out, moaning his name and grabbing his forearm. He paused, making sure he was reading her right. “More,” she whimpered and he obliged, sliding another finger inside of her. He pushed and pulled his fingers inside of her wet center, listening to her pant and beg and plead for him not to stop. Jayne could sense in a woman when she was about to come and he stopped what he was doing, pulling his fingers out of her.

“Jayne?” she asked.

He didn’t answer, just reached for her coveralls and pulled them down her hips along with her pants and panties. He had her completely naked and there were a million things he would have loved to do to her at that moment. Focus Cobb, he thought to himself as his hand reached for his own pants and undid the button. He wasted no time freeing himself and positioning his body between her legs.

“You ready, Kaylee girl?” he asked. She nodded and Jayne grabbed her knees, pushing them a little further apart as he eased himself in. “Ai ya, woman,” he breathed out. She was so tight around him; whores didn’t feel this good. One hand steadied himself on the wall while the other grabbed her hip and pulled her against him. “That feel good?” he asked.

“Yeah Jayne…yeah it does,” Kaylee moaned out, her eyes fluttering closed as he began a slow steady rhythm.

Jayne lifted one of Kaylee’s legs up into the air, giving himself better access. He turned his head, kissing her ankle and slowly trailing his mouth down her calf. She looked so gorram sexy laying there, nothing on her, moaning his name. He wanted to see her come, watch her face while it happened. He eased her leg down and Kaylee instinctively wrapped it around his hip. Jayne’s hand moved between them, rubbing her clit in soft circles and watching her face.

“J-jayne…I’m, I’m close…” she managed between shallow breaths.

“Let it go, babygirl,” he urged. It was watching her face that did it for him, watching her eyes squeeze shut and her hands grip the sheets in her tight little fists. He steadied himself with the wall and pushed into her one last time as he came inside of her.

His ears were ringing. That hadn’t happened in a long while either. Jayne slowly eased out of her and watched her as she scooted to the side to make room for him. He collapsed next to her, head turning so he could watch her. Kaylee was still panting, her eyes mostly closed and her hand resting over her heart.

“You okay?” he asked. She didn’t answer for a moment, but finally nodded.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“What do ya mean I shouldn’t go with you?” Kaylee asked, her brow furrowing in uncertainty.

“Serenity is your home, that’s all I’m sayin’,” Jayne shrugged, trying to remain indifferent.

“Jayne, you’re talkin’ crazy now,” Kaylee shook her head and chewed on her lip. “I’ve lost just ‘bout everything I’ve cared about in my life, I ain’t losin’ you too. ‘Sides, this is all your fault anyhow. Just had t’go pointin’ a gun at the cap’n, didn’t you?” she rolled her eyes. Jayne’s shoulders slumped a little.

“Wasn’t tryin’ t’get us kicked off,” Jayne shook his head.

“I know,” Kaylee nodded. ‘”Just gonna miss this place is all.”

‘Me too,’ Jayne thought, but he didn’t say it. He watched her mover over to a crate and sit down. Letting out a deep breath he moved over to sit next to her. “Kaylee…you don’t wanna go…”

“Don’t tell me what I don’t wanna do, Jayne Cobb,” she threatened, not looking at him. He turned his head and looked down the ramp. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, just him and Kaylee. He looked over at her again, noticing how slumped her shoulders were and how tired she still look.

“When you wanna go?” he asked.

“Just give me a few more minutes. I gotta say goodbye t’my girl.”

“I ain’t worth this, Kaylee,” Jayne shook his head.

“Sure you are,” she whispered, tilting her head up a little to look at him and giving him the faintest hint of a smile through watery eyes. He knew right then he wasn’t going to be able to leave without her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Doctor!”

Simon turned around to see the captain a few yards down the corridor just outside the infirmary. He wasn’t sure what Mal was there for, maybe to tell him that Kaylee and Jayne were leaving?

“Yes, Captain?” Simon asked as he approached the infirmary.

“I just was uh…well checkin’ on you. Thought you should know, Kaylee and Jayne will be stayin’ at this stop. Just thought I should tell you,” Mal nodded. He looked like he was nervous or searching for words. Simon couldn’t quite gather why Mal would be nervous though.

“You didn’t have to do that…I appreciate it though,” Simon attempted to smile.

“You look like you could use a drink, doctor,” Mal said, eyeing him strangely. Simon nodded and moved to follow Mal towards the galley but stopped.

“Can’t leave!” River’s voice echoed from the hallway. He saw his sister flying down the hallway, tears running down her face as she forced herself between Simon and Mal. “Can’t leave, make them stay!” River demanded.

“River?” Simon asked, watching her carefully. She seemed to be having a full blown attack at the moment.

“Serenity’s crying!” River explained, her fist tightening as she stared at the captain. Simon put his hand on her shoulder but she quickly shrugged him off.

“Serenity’s a ship lil’ albatross. Everything’s gonna be just fine, don’t you worry none. We’re gonna find us a new mechanic at the next stop,” Mal said, though he didn’t sound convinced.

“Ship won’t fly without her. Loves her,” River shook her head, tears still running down her face. “Can’t you feel?” she asked.

River reached out and grabbed Mal’s hand, pressing it against the hull of the ship. Mal didn’t take his eyes off River, watching the girl intently as she spoke. It was quiet for a long moment, save for the sniffling coming from River. It was strange watching his sister hold Mal’s hand against the ship, seeing them stare at each other unmoving.

“River…perhaps it’s time for your medicine,” Simon suggested.

“Not crazy,” River whispered, finally breaking eye contact with Mal and looking at her brother. “Feels too much. Feels it all. Don’t let her go.” Her hand released Mal’s and she ran off towards the cargo bay leaving Simon and the captain in an awkward silence.

Simon held his breath as he stared at Mal, trying to determine what the older man was thinking. After a few minutes the doctor realized it was impossible. He opened his mouth to speak but Mal beat him to it.

“I need a Doctor more than I need a mechanic. Mechanic I can get at any stop, even if they won’t know this ship the way Kaylee knows it.” Simon wondered if Mal was trying to convince himself as well as Simon of that fact. Selfishly, he wanted to tell Mal he couldn’t stay on the ship with Kaylee and Jayne, but inside he knew that wasn’t true. He was upset and hurt right now, but he wasn’t blind to the fact that he had played some part in the demise of their relationship.

“I’m not leaving, captain,” Simon said, his voice edged with his usual formality. “Whether she stays or not. Jayne as well.” The doctor watched as Mal’s eyes took him in before nodding.

“You sure?” Mal asked. Against the temptation to say no, Simon finally nodded.

“All wounds heal. I’m a doctor, I should know.” It would be hard…very hard, but there were more people’s lives affected than just his. So with a deep sigh, he excused himself to the galley for a glass of water.

~*~*~*~

Mal watched Simon go, licking his bottom lip for a moment. He felt his chest tightened at the forlorn look the doctor gave him, but what could he say? Turning slowly, Mal headed towards the cargo bay to stop Jayne and Kaylee before they left. As he moved through the doorway, a voice stopped him. He looked up to see River standing just outside the door casing. Her head was cocked to the side just slightly as she studied him.

“He needs time first,” she said, blinking once before stepping through the doorway, closer to him. Her face was still wet with tears but she wasn’t crying anymore.

“Time for what?” Mal asked, though he had an idea what.

“Time to heal. He cares though. It’s why it doesn’t work,” she said, leaning up against the wall.

“Why what doesn’t work?” the captain asked, eyeing her oddly.

“The equation,” she replied simply. “The exponents couldn’t be quantified. The proof wasn’t justified. Variables entered the equation disproving the theory.”

“Variables huh?” Mal asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Variables,” River nodded. “Variables with guns.”