Title: Stand and Stand By Author: Ana Sedai Rating: PG Character(s): Simon Prompt: 086 - Silver Word Count: 1,000 A/N: 21/100 for Mal/River Joss100.

Summary: Simon weighs in on Mal and River’s relationship…thing.

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It had been raining. That was really all Simon could remember about the day that he’d left home. It hadn’t been a storm, just a slow, steady, silver drizzle that made it seem like the entire planet was crying.

He himself had moved beyond tears long ago. All that was left now was cold hard purpose. His goal was clear: get River out. Everything else was details. His parents’ disappointment, his career in the toilet, cutting ties to everyone he’d ever cared about, none of it meant a damn thing. His baby sister was in pain, and he was going to save her. That was all.

Well, he’d gotten her out. Saving her, however, had proven to be infinitely more challenging. The wide-eyed girl of fourteen who had wanted so badly to learn had become…something else. Someone else. Oh, she was still mostly the old River, with her dances and wild stories, but she had an edge now, an edge as black as night, as black as the space that they now called home.

He hadn’t considered this a good thing. His mei mei had no business knowing how to most efficiently kill a man, or how to fire a gun, or knowing secrets worth killing hundreds for. But he’d be lying if he said she hadn’t borne it well. Her darkness was a part of her now, as much a part of her as her grace or her intelligence. She was more than forceful; she was a Force.

On some level, he knew that the days when he had the final say over River’s life were long gone. Kaylee had reminded him not-so-good-naturedly that River was almost a woman full-grown. “You gonna try and stand between her and everything the ‘verse dishes out? Can’t be done, Simon. You know that better’n anyone.”

And he knew that. He did. But…she was still his sister. It was his job to protect her. He had been watching over her since the day she’d been born. Even when their parents hadn’t known what to make of her, Simon always had. He hadn’t always understood her, but he had always, always loved her.

Looking back, he realized now that he had always thought that River would look to him first when she needed support. It wasn’t until that morning in the infirmary with Mal that he got his first inkling of how utterly blind he’d been. When he’d asked her if there was anything that made her voices stop, her eyes had gone immediately to Mal. No hesitation, no doubt. And without him even realizing it, something inside Simon gave way.

Since then, he’d been keeping an eye on the two of them. Not always. For one thing, he knew that River would sense it if she felt him prying too much. For another, well, Kaylee needed his attention too. He loved her, and she deserved better than his constant paranoia about River and Mal’s relationship, or whatever it was.

In any case, what he had seen had been sufficient. River was in love with Mal. There was no question about it. When he came into a room, everyone else left as far as she was concerned. She followed him with hungry eyes that glowed bright as stars. She couldn’t have hidden it from Simon even if she’d wanted to.

What Mal felt for her wasn’t nearly as clear, but it was obvious the man felt something. The only thing that kept Simon from confronting Mal directly was the change in his and River’s dynamic. He wouldn’t pretend to not feel relieved that Mal had been steering clear of River these past few days.

It was a bit strange. The other night at dinner, Mal had been laughing and teasing everyone, including River. And Simon would have sworn on his diploma that Mal’s his eyes lingered longer on her than on anyone else. The next day, though, his tone towards her changed. He was all business around her now. He piloted by himself. He was never alone with her.

And River was quickly losing her newfound luster.

So, while Simon wouldn’t pretend to not be relieved, he also couldn’t pretend to not see how this was hurting her. The light in her eyes had dimmed, and she barely looked up from her half-eaten food at meals. Mal’s avoidance was causing her pain, and Simon hated seeing it. But then, he would only cause her more if she pursued him further.

Simon was confused, and he didn’t like it. Mal was strong, no doubt about it. Maybe even strong enough to handle a life with her. No one else that Simon had ever met would do as well with her as he would. And River knew it, too. She had recognized something in him, and given him her heart with no thought of restriction. That was her way. But she hadn’t planned on what she would do if he wouldn’t take it. And now her sadness and Simon’s own doubts were eating away at him.

At the end of the day, Simon really had no choice. If River had decided that Mal was what she needed, then he would be damned if he let him walk away without a good reason. She had clawed her way back from the brink, and the thought of losing her to that fogginess again was unbearable.

He was feeling very much at sea, knowing that it was not his place to interfere (Kaylee would have a few choice words after this was over). But he could not stand idly by while River retreated back into herself. He had no idea what he should say, who he should say it to, or even if he should say anything at all. All he could do for now was to be there for River as much as she would let him. He needed time to figure out the right course of action. He just prayed he would figure it out soon enough.

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