Title: Stand Up Pairing: Jaylee Characters: Mal, Kaylee, Jayne Rating: pg-13 (to be safe) Disclaimer: I do not own Warning: Not betaed

Author's note: Reenie said I should write some angst, so you can blame this on her.

Her fists flew furiously into the over stuffed, silky pillow Inara had bought her. She wished it was something harder, something that would hurt her hands as she punched at it because maybe if there was pain on the outside of her, it wouldn’t hurt so much on the inside. Kaylee was only vaguely aware of the body watching her from the doorway of the engine room, her focus so intent on the pillow. She felt outside of herself, as if she was watching as she pounded into the soft material that sat in her lap. Maybe it was the only way to deal with the pain.

“Don’t know what that pillow ever did to you,” Mal said, breaking the silence. Kaylee sniffled, her fists stopping but she didn’t turn to look at him.

“Thought you was River,” she said softly, wiping at her cheeks, scrubbing the tears away.

“No…but I can see where you would mix us up, we’re both so pretty, the pair of us,” Mal said, making an attempt at humor. Kaylee didn’t even crack a smile, just stared forward at the engine that wasn’t turning. “There is some food in the galley.”

“Ain’t got much of an appetite,” she shrugged, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Now that she had stopped punching on the pillow she could feel the tension beginning to build again. She wasn’t a violent person, but her emotions were so mixed up, she didn’t know what to do with everything she was feeling.

“You should eat,” Mal said in that brotherly tone of his. Normally Kaylee appreciated the protectiveness Mal shined on her, but at the moment in was like nails on a chalkboard and immediately she snapped at him.

“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, cap’n. There’s all sorts of people who didn’t do what they should have done, I think maybe you ought t’talk to them.”

“They ain’t here for me to talk to,” Mal said slowly.

“Don’t I know it,” Kaylee breathed out bitterly.

“He probably got scared is all, Kaylee,” Mal said, taking a step further into the room and moving around so her could see her face. She turned at looked at him, her eyes bloodshot, the make-up Inara had put on her face was running down her reddened cheeks. She was a complete mess.

“That supposed t’make me feel better?” she asked, her voice breaking some despite her trying to stop it.

“Better that then dead or hurt,” Mal shrugged. Kaylee nodded, as upset as she was, she didn’t want Jayne dead or hurt. The thought stirred ice in her stomach and for a moment she felt like she was going to puke.

“You heard what Fisher Marshall from the parts store said; saw a man lookin’ just like Jayne boarding that freighter naught two hours before.” It was easier to believe that maybe Jayne had just gotten scared and run off. It hurt like hell, but it was better than thinking he was dead somewhere. “He left me there, standing outside the church like a gorram fool.” Kaylee picked at the edges of her wedding dress. She still hadn’t take in off. Been almost two days since Jayne stood her up and she had refused to change into anything else. “We checked everywhere, cap’n, the prisons, the drunk tanks, the bars, hell Zoe even checked every last whore house. Everyone’s looked all over town and there ain’t been no sign of Jayne. What else could it be, but that he jumped ship?”

“I don’t know,” Mal said sympathetically. Kaylee opened her mouth to speak, but another voice interrupted her.

“Kaylee girl…”

The mechanic’s eyes flew around her to see Jayne standing in the doorway. He was still wearing his wedding tux, but blood covered just about all of him. Her eyes widened and she jumped out of the hammock she had been sitting in, watching as the big mercenary swayed slightly, before tipping into the door frame. He might have crashed for the ground if the captain hadn’t been there to catch him.

“Jayne!” Kaylee yelled, dropping to his side.

Mal eased Jayne to the ground and stood, punching in the comm button. “Simon we need you in the engine room NOW!”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

a/n: as a dear friend of mine said, I need another series like Simon needs another fan girl, so there will just be one more part to this. I've only got one more chapter of 'Equations' to do and I've started 'Trapped', so those should be coming along soon.