The traditional obligatory offering to Boss Joss. Love the work, got bored, and decided to to run with it!

This is a story co-written with a very good friend of mine. Action, adventure, drama, sweet Kaylee/Simon stuff, and BIG DAMN hints of Mal/Inara.

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Jayne managed to drag River into the kitchen with not much hitting, and everyone’s attention suddenly diverted to the two newcomers. "You just tell Mal what you told me about all this death being brought on."

“What are you talkin’ about?” Kaylee asked Jayne nervously, her eyes darting back to Simon in worry, then returning to River, who stood beside Jayne uncomfortably.

Simon was sure the captain would adjust slowly into his relationship with Kaylee. However his worry meter shot through the roof as Jayne and River came into the kitchen. Jayne had a firm hold on his little sisters arm and just like that Simon was up from the table and stepping over. He put his hands on River's shoulders and moved her away from Jayne.

"I'd appreciate you not manhandling my sister, Jayne." He said staring at the bigger man. He gave his sisters shoulders a rub. She was priority number one.

River looked over the group, glancing back up to Jayne. “What about the party?” She didn’t think that now was the time to be bringing up such awful news. River especially noticed Kaylee and Simon sitting beside each other. She didn’t want to cause another problem for her brother, not when he seemed to be having such a good time with his girlfriend.

Jayne rolled his eyes as River's party comment. "No. When you start mumbling about some guy who knows Mal and wants to bring death on us I wanna tell them. Mal she’s picking something up I think. She says that someone’s gonna bring death on us and we can't hide. She said we can't hide Mal. I don't like that. Only thing I hate more than Reavers is Reavers I can't hide from." He almost shouted.

Inara stood from her seat quickly, heading to cut off Jayne from River as the girl’s brother led her away from the raging oaf. “Jayne, leave her alone. Nothing is solved from yelling at the top of your lungs. Get a hold of yourself.” Glancing back to Mal, she silently demanded an explanation for Jayne’s intrusion.

River followed her brother across the room, glaring hard the Jayne. Now they really had ruined the crew’s evening. It wasn’t like the man in black was coming that second. They could’ve held off for a few hours at least. Maybe it was just the seventeen year old sister in her, but she didn’t want Simon to get mad at her about messing up his date. So for now, River kept her mouth shut, watching as Jayne was scolded for his yelling.

Mal was less than thrilled by Jayne's sudden appearance with River. River looked a little bit upset. Mal on the other hand was more annoyed than anything. He let out a low sigh and glanced at Kaylee with Simon. She was upset. This was her party. Finally he jumped to his feet. "Jayne! Shut up for once. I don't wanna hear you speak again. In fact I wanna see you marching your ass right back into that cockpit and I want you to keep an eye out."

Kaylee stood along with Inara as the commotion started. She stepped closer to Simon and River, watching in confusion as Jayne went on and on about River’s supposed vision. Kaylee still had to admit that she was never truly at ease with River’s abilities. Resting a hand on Simon’s back, she sighed in disappointment. “I guess the party’s over…”

Jayne noted the disappointed look on little Kaylee's face and he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel bad. He did. He didn't want to ruin her fancy night, but he didn't want to die either. Jayne was always one to jump the gun really. He liked to make rash decisions and act fast. Sighing he rubbed his chin as Mal ordered him into the cockpit. "Fine." He said grumbling. He headed back up into it and stopped. "Sorry little Kaylee." He said finally disappearing into the cockpit.

Kaylee watched silently as Jayne left the group and returned to the cockpit. She nodded quietly at Jayne’s attempt to apologize on his way out. “It’s ok,” she insisted with a sigh, “Not like you can help it or nothin’…” Jayne was who he was, and there was no way to change him, even if she made an effort to try.

Mal shook his head in contemplation. "Simon I'd hate to do this but you’re gonna have to let your sister go." He trusted River when it came to this so he was gonna keep Jayne in that cockpit looking out for it with River. Whether he liked it or not. Not to mention the fact that he was not about to ruin this night for Kaylee. Inara would rip him a new one if he let it go to hell. "River now why don't you join Jayne in there and I promise he won't go yelling and hurting you."

Simon wasn't exactly comfortable with all of this. Jayne was raving about people bringing death and River looked irritated at him. He didn't look at this as a problem. His sister was sensing something then he wanted to be a little worried like he should be. Mal sent Jayne back into the cockpit and then told Simon to let go of his sister. He glanced back at Kaylee and then ahead at the captain. He was nervous about that.

"You expect me to just let my 17 year old younger sister go back into the cockpit with the raving lunatic screaming about bringing death you certainly have lost your mind captain."

River nodded enthusiastically at Mal’s suggestion that they leave, glad to be able to leave this more than awkward situation. “I’ll be ok, Simon.” Writhing out of her brother’s grip, she turned and smiled at Simon before brushing past Jayne and beating him to the cockpit. Once inside and out of view of the others, she took a seat back in her chair and resumed her position from earlier. There would be plenty of time for the crew to rest before the man in black arrived.

Inara stood beside Mal, her arms crossed in annoyance. At least Mal was stepping up and taking some initiative in the situation. While Jayne and River left, per Mal’s orders, Inara couldn’t help but feel horrible about the turn the night had taken. Catching Kaylee’s disappointed expression, she debated whether or not the party would be able to continue after this interruption. “Perhaps we should call this an evening,” she suggested quietly. “Maybe we can continue this another time.” But Inara knew that this felt like one of those moments when they would not be getting much time for relaxation.

Inara’s suggestion forced Kaylee to have to consider to end the party for the night. She nodded quietly in agreement. “Maybe that’d be best.” She offered a quiet smile to Simon in an effort to reassure him that she was ok with this.

Simon was upset that the night would end, but he was more upset about leaving his little sister with the ape for the night. River could handle herself he figured. He looked over at Kaylee and nodded. "I suppose that’s alright." He said looking at Mal.

Mal felt awful about this whole situation. This was a time for his little Kaylee to shine and it got killed because Jayne was a big bumbling idiot who couldn't keep his big yap shut. When Inara suggested they call it a night he shrugged. "Won't hurt." He said scratching the back of his head. "Seems like Doc been itching for that, anyway." He moved sideways and took a seat in his chair again. "Another time sounds about right. You two run along. But remember my ship has thing walls, Simon." He nodded once more and then he went on with eating his dinner.

There he went again. Making Simon feel awkward. "Right." The doctor said in response to his walls comment. "I think we should go now, Kaylee." He said reaching for her hand.

At the group’s suggestion, Kaylee nodded in agreement. “Alright...” She pointed at Inara. “…But we are going to be doing this again.” The Companion raised her hands defensively.

“Absolutely,” Inara answered with a smirk. Stepping forward, she planted a kiss on the young mechanic’s cheek. “You looked gorgeous tonight, mei mei.” The girl blushed beet red at the comment, returning the kiss with a chuckle. “Thank you, Inara.”

As Mal’s face was down, paying more attention to his food, Kaylee silently meet Inara’s gaze, and nodded toward the captain with an insistent expression. Inara’s eyes narrowed, confused and then suddenly annoyed with her friend’s suggestion.

“You two should go,” Inara said deadpanned.

“Fine,” Kaylee winked, and then smiled quietly, placing her hand into Simon’s. The two stepped out of the kitchen, hand-in-hand, as Kaylee led them towards the passenger bunk, where she’d spent much of her free time, seeing as it was more than difficult for privacy in her own quarters.

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Jayne was less than happy about all of this. He was supposed to be back in there telling Mal all about it. And then they'd come in here and grab Zoe plan a way to defend themselves. Stop this death coming at them. When the girl got ahead of him and took the pilot seat he growled down at her.

"You cheatin'." He said tilting his head. "You dun got me in trouble with the cap'n cause I was trying to help. You know next time you see death comin' down on us go tell Mal instead of me. Everyone just thinks I'm cryin' wolf bout it." He plopped down in co-pilot seat and crossed his arms over his chest.

River sat casually on the pilot’s seat, amused by how frustrated Jayne was getting at her. “We have time,” she insisted, growing bored with him. It was then she noticed Simon and Kaylee leaving the table and going off to their own devices.

“He’ll choose her,” she said quietly, not caring if the gruff man in the room even heard her. She knew that if it came to it, Simon would do what he needed to save Kaylee.

Jayne was nicely sulking when he heard the girl speak again. "He'll choose what?" He said peeking out to watch Simon and Kaylee leave. "You mean the doc? Choose Kaylee over you?" Jayne shook his head leaning back in his seat.

"You must not be too smart to see what your brother is willing to do for you. I mean the guy broke into a hospital to fix that brain of yours." He said glancing at her. "Mal says he gave up his life to find you all civilization. I'm pretty sure if it came down to it Simon would always pick you little one."

“It won’t come to that,” River smiled softly, pleased that Jayne was trying to be comforting towards her. Sure beat out making lewd comments or hollering at her.

Jayne sat in silence listening to her. "You never know girl." He said kicking his feet up on the console.

Jayne had insisted that Simon would choose her if he ever had to pick between his sister and his girlfriend. Though at the moment, all her brother had on his mind at the moment was Kaylee. River wasn’t planning on going to sleep anytime soon after seeing those two walk off towards the older Tam’s bunk.

“Simon can be a real boob sometimes,” she stated bluntly, keeping her eyes focused on the black sky through the window. “Most boys are.” She continued staring out even as she leaned down from her chair to snatch some food off of Jayne’s abandoned plate.

He gave her a heartfelt laugh when she called Simon a boob. "I agree with you there. He's a boob alright." He said crossing his arms over his chest. He let his head lay to one side watching her. She was so tiny and it was hard to believe she could beat Jayne's ass. Jayne was a tough guy and could take most anything. Hell he got himself stabbed in the chest and took on an old friend. She could beat him big time.

"Most men aren't boobs. Just Mal and Simon." He said with a satisfied smirk. "My old man too. And my uncle. Oh and Dodger." He said nodding.

River giggled lightly, listening to Jayne continued to ramble. She shook her head in amusement, leaning over the console to set the coordinates for their next destination. She’d be giving her brother few hours before heading off to bed herself. Though she had to admit, it would have been nice to have had some more pleasant company.

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Mal was quiet about everything. He had said his goodbyes to Simon and Kaylee. He didn't need to worry about River and Jayne. She could hand the larger man his ass and than some if push came to shove. He was just going to enjoy the food.

Inara watched as Kaylee and Simon left the kitchen and headed back toward the passenger dorm. Hearing the loud sounds of eating, she was borderline disgusted, but found herself biting back a smirk at the site. Leaning against the back of one of the chairs, Inara studied Mal’s face, shocked that he didn’t seem at all phased by what had just happened with River and Jayne. “I can’t believe how nonchalant you’re being about this. You’re not the least bit curious about what Jayne was talking about?”

Once the left he heard Inara move and comment to him. Mal looked up swallowing and shrugged. "I see it as Jayne is an idiot ninety eighty percent of the time. The other two percent when he's being smart is when he's scared. He was pretty scared about that thing back there. But there’s also the factor of River. She says things to get Jayne all riled up. Finds it funny I suppose. If matters get too bad I'll handle it. River will tell me when and if they come. She's a smart girl. She won't just let us fly blindly into it." He nodded and looked back at his food. "Besides this is Jayne. Seriously..."

Inara had to concede to the fact that Jayne was very easily riled. “I suppose you’re right…” Pausing for a moment, she finally decided to return to the seat next to Mal, not wanting to cause a fuss by changing spots on him. God only knew the kind of trouble he’d start if she acted awkwardly about suddenly being alone with him. He’d just love the chance to nitpick her, wouldn’t he?

“Still,” she paused, glancing up towards the cockpit, “River starting talk about something bringing death isn’t exactly the most pleasant of discussion topics. Especially considering her usually spot-on predictions about things.”

Mal stayed quiet as he ate. He was listening to Inara plenty. He knew what he should worry about and what he shouldn't. "Which is why I trust her to come to me if she feels anything is seriously wrong." He said going back to his food. Finally he finished and leaned back. "Don't worry Inara. I ain't gonna let you go dying anytime soon." He said smirking. He moved getting out of his seat. He took his plate and plopped it down on the counters. Walking back over he put his hand on her shoulder and leaned in. He made sure he could see her face.

"Sides you just got back on my boat wouldn't be any fun if I got you killed." He nodded and pulled back. He went to the doorway and stopped turning to her. "You may piss me off but I like ya too much to give ya up."

Inara raised an eyebrow, watching as Mal sauntered out of the kitchen. “You are invariably going to drive me to crazed homicide, you know that?” Rolling her eyes, Inara leaned her head in her hands, groaning in frustration. Silent moments passed, and a smirk rolled over her expression.

He gave her a firm nod and went down the corridor to his bunk. Pushing the porthole open he gave her one last look before he disappeared down into his room. Pulling the suspenders from his body he let them dangle and drug himself to his bed. Falling onto it he was out.

“Men,” she muttered, shuffling to her feet and cleaning up the plates on the table. Several minutes later, Inara marched out of the room towards her shuttle, preparing to sleep for the evening.

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Simon quietly walked with Kaylee down the corridors. He was enjoying the time they had alone finally. "I do believe Mal was aiming to make me into the most embarrassed man tonight." He said with a hint of a smile.

Kaylee laughed softly as they stepped down the corridors, nodding as Simon suggested that the Captain had it out for him tonight. “Embarrassing you ain’t exactly the hardest thing in the ‘verse, Simon.” She winked at him as she squeezed his hand teasingly.

"Well I happen to think I'm not that much of an easy target." He said smiling. The soft feeling of her arms around his waist comforted him. "He can be quite big brotherly when the time calls for it. Maybe all my squawking over River has given him new ideas on how to protect you." He said side glancing at Kaylee as they walked. It was amusing to watch the captain be that way. He let Kaylee's hand go and put his arm around her shoulder. He drew her closer into his side and turned his head putting his downward and kissing her forehead.

She leaned into Simon’s chest with an appreciative sigh, her arm wrapping around his lower back. “Well I keep tellin’ ya, a crew ain’t nothin’ but a big ole family,” she insistently explained, “After a while, they know how to push all the wrong buttons. ‘Specially the Captain.”

"Family right. Well can I trade my family in for a new one?" He was kidding of course. "Captain pushes my buttons like a pro." He said nodding.

She gripped the back of his shirt for balance, watching her step as they crossed a porthole near the stairwell entrance. “I, on the other hand, have always been particularly good at pushing all the right ones.” Kissing Simon innocently on the cheek, she wriggled out of his grip, grabbing his hand to take the lead as they trotted down the long stairwell to the passenger’s dorm.

At her comment Simon's eyebrows shot up. They moved down the stairs quietly. "Well now you do do you?"

Kaylee glanced over her shoulder at Simon, winking with a laugh as she pulled him more forcefully down the stair. When the two finally reached the bottom, she pulled Simon to her by his shirt collar. Kissing his neck with a light-hearted giggle, the young mechanic led her boyfriend backwards into his bunk. She kicked the sliding door shut behind them. Hopefully no one would be disturbing them tonight.

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Translations:

mei mei = little sister