Mal stared off into distant space, as Serenity floated along to no particular destination. He was settled in the Pilot's chair, leaning forward onto his knees. Even though Serenity was his ship, he never felt like he had a place up there by the steering wheel. Even now he only went up when River was asleep. In all honesty, that room had always belonged to Wash, but he was gone now. He had been for some time.

"You're still awake Mal?" asked a voice from behind him. He turned in his chair, and gave a small smile as Inara joined him in the cockpit. Mal watched her for a minute, secretly happy for her company.

"Can't sleep." he said plainly, and looked back out at the passing stars.

"I've noticed there are alot of nights that you can't sleep." she said, coming to stand beside him. She looked out at the stars for a moment, and then back down at the Captain. "What's wrong?"

Mal looked back up at her stood up. He ran a hand though his hair, sighing. "Nothing. Just fightin' off a cold, I expect."

"Mal." she said, bringing out her arm to block his path out of the room.

He looked down at her. "Inara." he said, and gently grabbed her arm, moving it to the side. "I'm fine." He walked past her and out of the room, Inara following behind closely. "I think I should be the one asking you, why YOU'RE up so late." he said, stopping at the door to his bunk.

"Couldn't sleep." said Inara smuggly, throwing his words back in his face.

Mal looked over at her, pushing open his bunk door. "I see." He stepped forward and began climbing down the ladder to his bunk. "Well, when you think up excuses of your own, let me know."

"Mal." she said, putting a hand on his bunk door to keep it open. "How long are we going to keep treating each other like this?"

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, looking up at her from the floor of his bunk. "My instincts and my heart are working against each other."

"Which one feels right?" asked Inara.

"That's the problem Inara, I usually go with both." said Mal. "Either way, it's not going to change anything. None of it matters."

"Of course it matters." said Inara.

"But you don't deny, that it won't change a gorram thing." said Mal. "So why are we still even talking about it?"

"You still don't get it." said Inara. "It's not the consequence that matters. It's the words."

"That doesn't make sense Inara, the consequence is why you say the words!!" he yelled as she closed the door on him. He shook his head at the closed door, and turned around. He looked over at his empty unmade bed at sighed. What was the point of starting something that was doomed to fail? It didn't matter how he felt, although he still wouldn't admit that he felt it.

"Nothing would change." said Mal quietly, as he sat down on the edge of his bed and took off his shoes. He pulled off his shirt and laid back, staring up at the blank ceiling. Inara cared about the words. But what words did she want from him?

It was a question he kept asking himself, as he slowly fell asleep.