BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

SCOUTRISSO2

Simon Says -- Jayne
Thursday, September 21, 2006

Second in a series of conversations Simon has with each crew member.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1272    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Dinnertime in the galley – Whole crew assembled/bustling about – plates are being passed around. Empty chairs next to Simon. Jayne sits down while simultaneously reaching for biscuits. River sits down on Simon’s other side, notices biscuits are being passed in other direction. Snatches Jayne’s and places it demurely on her plate.

Jayne, who was looking the other way, takes a second to notice what’s happened – reaches straight across Simon’s empty plate to seize back his biscuit.

Simon (Starts, the grabs at Jayne’s wrist) Everyone (Taken aback at the aggressive gesture) Simon --Hold on there. Jayne -- Lemme go doc. (Threatening) I hear it’s hard to eat without teeth. Simon – (Ignoring the threat – Intently looking at the back of Jayne’s hand) How long have you had this mark? Jayne – Huh? (Pulls hand away) Simon – That spot, how long have you had it? Jayne – What spot? (Looks at his hand) The hell if I know… Wash – HAH! Leave it to Jayne not to know the back of his hand like the back of his hand.. Simon (Ignores Wash, speaking intently to Jayne) Has it always been this color? This shape? Jayne – That there is a freckle, that’s what happens to skin sees light of day once in a while. You’d see for yourself if you ever got your lily white ass off this boat. Wash – Was that a retort? That was almost witty! (To Zoe) Honey, our little boy’s all grown up! I’m so proud! (Wipes pretend tear from eye) Simon – (Concerned) I don’t think that’s just a freckle. I need to run a test. Jayne – No tests. Simon – But.. Jayne – No tests. Simon – But you could die. Jayne – I ain’t scared of no death by freckle. I face death every day, another thing you might understand if you ever got off the ship. Simon – (Getting very animated) You don’t understand, this isn’t “Bang bang! You’re dead” death, this is wasting away to nothing death. This is vomiting for days on end death. This is Kaylee-spoon-feeding you gruel while I change your diapers death. This is begging for a bullet before your.. Jayne – (Clearly freaked, but covers with annoyance) For the love of god! Are you ever gonna shut up? Simon – (Stops cold) Not until I get to run my test. Jayne – Will running your (piece of shit) test be faster than beating you to death? I want to eat. Simon – (Goes along with it) Oh, yes, much quicker. Wash – (To Zoe) Yeah, beating the doc to death would take at least, what, like 5 minutes? Ten if he hides behind Kaylee. River – (Mumbles) One saves face, one save life. Jayne – Get your ass up and do it then! Simon – Follow me. Jayne – I know where the gorram infirmary is.

They exit the galley and approach the infirmary.

Jayne -- (quietly) Doc. I ain’t ever been good at tests. I fail this, can I take it over? Simon -- (starts to correct him, then stops) This isn’t…..Yes, we can do it over. Don't worry. You're probably right, it's probably just a freckle.

COMMENTS

Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:55 AM

LEIASKY


OMG! That was hysterical! My favorite lines:

Jayne – That there is a freckle, that’s what happens to skin sees light of day once in a while. You’d see for yourself if you ever got your lily white ass off this boat.

Well done. Keep going with these!

Thursday, September 21, 2006 7:21 AM

DQBABY76


hahahaha... that was really good.

are we gonna get to know the results of the test?

Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:29 AM

JAYNESFUTUREEXWIFE


Very clever. I liked Wash's fake tear the best.

Thursday, September 21, 2006 11:02 AM

TAMSIBLING


Oh no, the best line was:

> I ain't afraid of no death by freckle.

BWHAHAHAHA!

Priceless - I can't wait to read the rest - these are great!

Thursday, September 21, 2006 2:04 PM

BLACKBEANIE


Awesome.
We need more,

Friday, September 22, 2006 1:00 AM

BORNTOFLY


Agree with all above.
Need more. And faster!

Friday, September 22, 2006 4:10 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Oh...this was genius, scoutrisso2...pure genius! Especially Simon's rant about the kind of death Jayne would experience if he got cancer;D

BEB

P.S. Though I know cancer bits hairy donkey nads from personal experience:(


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