Note: Translations for the Chinese - Tianna, nî hâo mêi. = Oh God, you are so beautiful. Xièxie nî. = Thank you.

Mal awoke slowly. He tried to gather his thoughts, but they seemed to be just out of his grasp. Where was he? In his own bed, must be on Serenity then. OK. Was he alone? No, he could definitely feel a presence next to him, warm and pleasant, snuggled in close. Mal cracked open one eye, dark curls, Inara.

Now he remembered. She had been waiting for him in his quarters last night. He smiled, what a vision she had been. Tired of waiting for him to make the first move, she had taken it upon herself to do so. They had made love, then fallen asleep entwined in each others arms.

He pulled her closer with the memory, and lightly kissed the top of her head. She stirred, but did not awaken. Probably for the best, Mal needed time to think.

He realized that he had slept through the night, no nightmares. First time in, he didn’t know how long. And awaking next to a woman he loved, that was nice, too. But now what? He didn’t even want to start thinking about the future, even the not-so-distant future of this very morning.

He had finally told her that he loved her, and she him. But was that enough? No. There were just too many difficulties involved. He certainly couldn’t afford to support her. Hell, he needed her rent money just to get by. So she would have to continue working. And that was something he really didn’t want to think about.

It had been hard enough before. Loving her and then watching her go off to be with other men. His imagination always bothered him when she was gone and now that he had experienced her himself... The thought of her in another man’s arms was almost more than he could bear. She was his, gorram it....his.

“Mal....” Inara looked up at him. Lost in his thoughts, he had squeezed her a bit too tightly and woken her up. She reached up and gently cupped his cheek. “We’ll be OK, we’ll find a way.”

He looked down into her eyes, he could see tears forming, and knew her words had been as much to comfort herself as they had been to comfort him. They both knew it would not be OK.

He kissed her forehead. “As much as I’d like to think so ‘Nara, just can’t seem to find my way to it. Both of us knew this wasn’t going to solve anything; hell, it just makes it that much more complicated. But you got any ideas on the subject, I’m more than willing to listen.”

Inara lowered her eyes; she blinked as a single tear rolled down her face. “No”, was all she managed to say.

He held her a little tighter. “Don’t like to see you cry, ‘Nara. We’ll figure out something. Right now though, I think we best figure a way to get you back to your shuttle.” He grinned at her, “Don’t want the crew getting the wrong idea.”

She managed a weak smile. “Or the right one.”

“It’s still early yet, don’t suppose anyone’s up and about. Why don’t you slip on your clothes and I’ll check up top.” He looked at her.... “You did wear clothes here....?”

She smirked and rolled her eyes. “Of course, Mal. Can’t really wander around the ship without them, now can I?”

At least he had got her to smile again. Mal slipped out of bed and into his trousers. Inara slid out from under the covers and stood up, stretching. Mal, who had been just about ready to climb up the ladder, stopped. His eyes followed her as she crossed the room to a small pile of clothes and slipped on her dress.

“Tianna,” he muttered under his breath, “ nî hâo mêi.” She turned and smiled at him, “Xièxie nî.”

Mal sighed and climbed up the ladder, he open the door to his room and checked the catwalk. “All clear.”

Inara met him as he descended. “Mal, we do need to talk about all this. We can‘t just go on as though nothing happened.”

Mal placed a hand on her arm, he could feel that she was trembling. He looked into her deep brown eyes and could see the pain she was trying to hide. “I know, Inara. We will. I need some time to think, and I’ve got Captainy things that need takin’ care of right now. But I’ll stop by your shuttle later and we’ll talk......Now, go.” And he gave her a gentle push toward the ladder.

Inara glanced back at him once more, sighed, then climbed up.

As the door to his room closed behind her, Mal cursed under his breath, then turned and drove his fist into the wall as hard as he could.

Why couldn’t things ever be easy?