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BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - PARODY
I've been running a game in my own verse, not Joss', but a couple of the non player characters are browncoats, firefly fans. This one has aliens and the game is about humans who were abducted, who get control of the ship and the skills to take it home.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 1532 RATING: 9 SERIES: FIREFLY
In the engineering spaces near No. 4 Fusor, the 3rd Day-
(Music is playing and somebody is singing along)
"…But if they don't notice, the ships always do.
See her landing so lightly, you'd swear that she cares
That she flies on two wings and a good million prayers!"
Linda- (Sadly) "You really are such a geek, Moose."
Moose- "Computer, 'Tunes off', please."
He climbs back out of fairly spacious access tunnel in the wall, a Jeffries tube, if you will. There's enough room for a Markov (picture a 1/2 scale, angry alien hippo, with six legs) to squeeze in there, and plenty of room even for a big guy like Moose.
Linda- "And you're the only one who says 'please' and 'thank you' to the ship!"
Moose- (Seriously) "I am what I am. I can be no other." (He smiles and goes on) "The one, the only, the original-"
Moose- (stooges accent) "Tsoit'nly!"
Linda- "Computer, set 'Boss Alarm.'"
Moose- (Surprised) "You know about that? Don't I have any secrets?"
Linda- "Not if I can help it. I think you're nearly as dangerous as that weird girl."
Moose- "Well, that's kind of a mean…" (stops and frowns) "We're, ah, not going to…"
Linda- "Make out in the Jeffries Tube? Why not? Are you afraid of Bubba?"
Moose- (a little nervous) "No, he's cool. I mean, well, I, I respect the chain of authority." (turns red)
Linda- (waits a beat, then moves closer) "The chain I'm going to beat you with?"
Moose- (slowly reaches out, touches a smudge on her cheek) "Promises, promises…"
Linda- (giggles) "Shut up!"
They are very close together, her face is tilted up to him.
Moose- "Make me…"
At dinner Matt the Cook is announcing the movies-
"Folks, our movies tonight are the final installment of the first, and some say only, Star Wars Trilogy, Return of the Jedi." A few whistles, cheers. "Followed by a little skit before the second movie, Joss Whedon's Serenity." There are a couple of horrified groans. Matt smiles, but goes on without comment. "The skit is called 'Everybody loves Kaylee', and was…"
Everybody Loves Kaylee
Written by Belinda Ferrari and Bruce Morris
Cast (in order of appearance)-
Julia Clancy as Kaylee
Mathew Sawyer as Simon
Edward MacEllroy as Jayne
Bruce Morris as Mal
Belinda Ferrari as Zoë
Henry Mbuto as Book
Fred Ayers as Wash
Zuzu Destiny as Inarra
Dorotea Gayle Marie Frade as River
Linda- "Well, that went well..."
Moose- "Dea forgot all her lines!"
Linda- "Nobody noticed. That kid has got cute down cold, down to her last freckle."
Moose- "Matt doesn't look anything like Simon, but that clumsy bit was brilliant improv!"
Linda- "That was Costigan. Sam took away his digital 'finger-painting' privileges for the porno on the wall, stupid idjut! Costigan stuck his foot out and tripped him."
Moose- "And Julia caught him. Perfect! Her dimples have dimples..."
Linda- "Watch it, buster! Don't forget, I was there when you talked Zuzu into playing our Inarra. You are so on thin ice."
Moose- "I don't think-"
Linda- "'You've got to play Inarra, you’re the most beautiful and exotic woman on the ship!'"
Moose- "That was just my mouth talking..."
Linda- "Well, those lips can just keep flapping. Per-maybe-haps I'll find somebody nice when I go down on shore leave. By myself."
Moose- "Is there any way I can get out of this with honor and dignity?"
Linda- "You're down to ritual suicide, Moose!"
Moose- "You're not mad at me because you're jealous, you’re mad because I wanted to help out with the kids."
Linda- "I'm mad at you because you didn't say anything to me!"
Moose- (very quiet, in pain) "I'm sorry I hurt you, Belinda. Please don't be mad at me. Please?"
A moment passes, before Linda turns to Bruce, looking even more exasperated.
Linda- "Bruce, you big dumb Browncoat! I've already figured out that I can't stay mad at you."
The Big Damn Movie starts, with the Universal logo, a spinning planet, like the old RKO logo. As it pulls back to a tired and polluted Earth…
Moose- "At the beginning of the 2nd World War- Oops, wrong movie!"
Linda punches him hard in the shoulder (Fortunately, he's wearing his Browncoat for protection 8-). Ships start launching, but at first it looks like multiple nuclear detonations.
Linda- "Stop it! Special Hell!"
People shush them, and a few more say "Special Hell!" Bruce leans over to whisper into her ear.
Bruce- "You're the most beautiful woman on this ship, or that moon, or anywhere else in the Galaxy."
On screen, the ships sail off into the 'Verse.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 6:59 AM
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