Jayne slunk a peek down the stairs as he looked about for the captain. *Finally gets some strength in ‘em, an’ the rutter’s been on the war path all gorram day...* Quickly descending the stairs, Jayne turned left and headed for the four passenger compartments. “Mal’s lookin’ fer ya,” Gabriel called from his room. “I know,” Jayne growled, moving past the door and knocking on the next one. “Come in,” came the response, and Jayne entered Helen’s room. “How ya doin’?” Jayne inquired. Stretched out on the bed, hands behind her head, Helen sat up upon the man’s entrance. “Bored,” she replied. “And yourself?” Jayne shrugged, closing the door behind him. “Just came to ask ya a couple questions.” Helen arched an eyebrow. “Will a knife be involved in this questioning?” Jayne eyed the warrior woman curiously. “No,” he replied. “Just a couple questions.” Laying back onto the bed, Helen nodded. “Okay. Shoot.” “Okay.” Jayne swallowed. “Helen... Do you think I’m a bad man?” Helen frowned at the peculiar question. “Um...” She thought for a moment. “I think you learned how to behave and think in order to survive in your environment. The same as me.” Jayne frowned, then nodded. “Okay, I can understand that.” “Why do you ask?” Jayne cleared his throat. “Well, I assume you’ve been enjoyin’ yer new-found freedoms the past two weeks.” Helen regarded him coolly. “I have.” Jayne nodded. “Okay, well... Ya see, yer security has been left all in my hands, an’ if ya did anythin’... *unorthodox...* Cap’n’d be liable ta gun me down.” Helen rolled her eyes. “Don’t lie to me, Jayne Cobb. I’ve noticed the comradery this crew possesses. Damian Ritter even made a comment about it to me once. He said that you have an advantage over us because of your undying loyalty to one another.” Jayne sighed, leaning back against the door and crossing his arms. “So...” He paused. “Helen, *why* didja come to rescue us on the med ship? After Gab freed ya, ya had a ship an’ no resistance. Ya coulda bashed in Gab’s brain, or jus’ left ‘im to die, maybe capped Mal in the head, an’ run off with the ship. The opportunity was left wide open for ya.” He watched Helen’s expressionless lack of reaction before repeating the question. “Why’d ya come for us?” Helen simply watched for a moment. Then, her stony facade faded and she looked thoughtful and a bit confused. “I... don’t know.” She looked around the drab room. “I guess I just feel something about this place. This environment.” She sat up, throwing her legs over to sit on the edge of the bed. “It’s something special. Something that my team never had, and never will have.” She brushed some clean strands of blond hair behind her ears. “I found something I liked, even if I don’t know quite what that is.” Jayne didn’t really understand what the woman was talking about, but he nodded, regardless. “So yer *not* gonna try an’ betray us?” Helen provided a wry smile. “Well... not anytime soon,” she teased. “Someday?” Jayne ventured. Helen shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe.” She met Jayne’s gaze. “What happens if I eventually do?” Jayne smiled. He couldn’t resist the temptation. “Well... then that will be an interestin’ day.” *************************************************************************

“Look at this place!” Mal fumed as he hobbled down the corridor toward the engine room. “We got what few panels this ship had hangin’ off the walls, we got a puddle of hydraulic fluid as deep as my nose in the right quarter, an’ the bottom cargo hatch still don’t track right!” He knocked his good arm against the wall twice. “Come on, people, let’s get this hole lookin’ like a ship again!” A crouching Simon watching her regap a spark accelerator behind a panel just forward of the turbine shell, Kaylee just chuckled. “He’s back,” she announced. Simon grinned. “Yep. Grouchy and demanding as ever.” “Hey!” Mal called, sticking his head through the doorway and slapping the frame. “We’re parkin’ this bird in Little Kaylee’s hometown in under twelve hours, so if you two lovebirds can handle a bit of spring cleanin’, we won’t be showin’ up in a garbage scow, dong luh mah?” “Shiny as all get out, Cap’n,” Kaylee replied cheerfully. Mal eyed the couple wearily. “Yeah, she better be shiny ‘fore we get there.” “Have you ever been to a wedding before?” Simon inquired. Mal peered at the doctor. “Just the one.” Apparently unwilling to go into it, he left to find Jayne and Gabriel. “So...” Kaylee wondered, sticking a tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she clamped a gap closed one-thirty seconds of an inch, “...I still wish yer family could be at our wedding.” Simon looked like he was about to say something; instead, he just shook his head. Kaylee rocked back on her heels and looked at Simon. “What? What is it?” Simon shrugged. “They don’t need to be there.” He scratched at the side of his head. “River and I have discussed it. As far as we’re concerned, our parents abandoned us.” He sighed. “To hell with them.” Kaylee wiped the grease from her hand before reaching over to rub Simon’s shoulder blade. “Oh, Honey... I hate to hear you say that.” Again, Simon shrugged. “It is what it is. If I’ve learned one thing from living out here on the edge of nothing, I’ve learned that. It is what it is.” Kaylee nodded solemnly, shifting sideways a bit to get to the next accelerator. She stuck the gauging needles to either side of the gap and watched the measurement tally up on the display. *Too small. A thirty second; no... A hair under that...* “Too bad you can’t risk calling home to your folks,” Simon mentioned. “This is going to be an interesting reunion.” He sat down on the floor, crossing his legs. “Hi, Daddy,” he squeaked, mocking Kaylee. “Good to see you again. Oh, by the way, this is my fiancee, Simon. We’re getting married this week. He’s a doctor. No, Daddy, he ain’t rich no more.” Kaylee whirled toward him, greasy hands at the ready. In two seconds flat, she had Simon’s face in a death grip. “Take that!” she exclaimed. “Noo!!” Simon cried. “Not the greasy hands!” “Yes! The Dread Greasy Hands strike again!” They collapsed into laughter as Simon wiped at his face. “I suppose I deserved that,” he decided. Kaylee frowned. “Yes, you did. Serves you right for teasin’ poor little me.” Simon shrugged. “Well, I don’t get a lot of practice at it, so...” He pursed his lips. “You don’t think two weeks is a little short for an engagement, do you?” Kaylee grinned. “To be honest, I’d marry ya right here an’ now, if I could. No, two weeks ain’t too long. Not as long as I’ve been waitin’ for ya to ask me.” Simon nodded agreement. “I think we’re ready.” “I think my family’s gonna love you,” Kaylee determined, continuing with her work. “Jessie an’ Betsy are gonna be jealous as hell, an’ I think you’ll get along with Tom, David, an’ Quentin just fine.” She wrinkled her nose at him. “Just don’t let ‘em beat ya up too bad, or they’ll never let ya forget it. Oh, an’ make sure an’ call Quentin ‘Kent’. He hates his name, an’ although he’s the youngest in the family, he’s also the biggest.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “‘Sides my Pa, of course.” Simon nodded. “And what will your parents think of me?” Kaylee paused. “Mama’s gonna think the world of you. Ya ain’t an ignorant, an’ ya got manners. Mama loves manners.” Simon arched an eyebrow. “And your father?” Kaylee bit her lower lip. “Well...” She turned to give Simon a quick peck on the cheek. “We’ll see what Daddy think of you when ya meet ‘im.” Simon sighed. “I suppose so. How um... How *big* is your father?” Kaylee paused again to look at the ceiling. “Um... Maybe six four? Six five? He’s a big softie, though.” Simon turned ashen. “Um... I see.” *************************************************************************

Gabriel winced as River straightened his healing right leg. “Ooh ooh ooh ach! Hold on!” River clucked her tongue at the man. “Oh, don’t be such a big baby! You’ve had two weeks since the medical ship to heal, and you’ll never get better without physical therapy. Push up against my hand.” Gabriel hissed through gritted teeth as he complied. “Are ya sure we don’t need a doctor doin’ this stuff?” River gave a funny scowl as she cocked her head. “No. I’m a genius, remember? I know what I’m doing.” Gabriel nodded vehemently as he was instructed to push down against River’s other hand. “I remember yer a genius. That’s why yer so good at this torture business.” River grinned. “Better than Niska?” Gabriel huffed. “Niska was a wiener. I’ve seen more creativity in balloon animals.” River bent Gabriel’s knee up again. “Well, you’ve survived the war, The Academy, two Reaver attacks, two Dante encounters, and flying through space in a giant condom and a snowman suit. I think you can handle some therapy.” “Gabriel!” Mal called as he neared the bedroom. He poked his head cautiously around the corner to ensure nothing he didn’t want to see was going on. “The door is *open,* Malcolm,” River, having heard the thought, called over her shoulder condescendingly. “Um...” Mal responded. “Right. Anyway, either of y’all seen Jayne?” “Sure haven’t,” Gabriel replied. “Why?” Mal shrugged. “Figured you two would be into the sauce right about now.” Gabriel shook his head, jerking a thumb toward River. “Na. Woman won’t let me while I’m healin’.” “That’s right,” River agreed. “And if I catch you drinking while you’re recuperating, I’ll tell Kaylee you were messing around in the engine room.” Gabriel made his eyes widen. “Oh, no! Don’t do that! Then, you’d have to protect me.” River impressed her concession with a quirk of the mouth, a nod, and a shrug. “You two are, by far, the strangest individuals I have *ever* met,” Mal declared. “An’ I *really* mean that. Yer a match made in Heaven.” “Why, thank you, Malcolm,” River accepted, smiling sweetly. “Bakers make thirteen for a baker’s dozen to allow for one mistake during the baking process.” She straightened Gabriel’s leg again, eyes still on Mal, and Gabriel hissed. “I think we will only need the twelve.” Mal blinked, then shook his head. He frowned. “Right, then. I’m gonna go find Jayne.” “How’s the arm, Cap?” Gabriel inquired, looking as if he wished to escape River’s evil clutches. Mal glanced down at the arm hanging in a sling and shrugged with his head. “Still healin’ up. ‘Parently, bullet fracture in bone is a slow healer.” Gabriel nodded. “Well, good luck with that. No, I *don’t* wanna push up again!” “Do as you’re told,” River scolded. “Have fun, Gab,” Mal teased, turning to leave. “Don’t go too far,” River called after. “Once I’m done here, your arm is next.” Mal didn’t take his time getting away from the room. *************************************************************************

“This will be fun,” Kaylee assured as the entire crew, minus Jayne, descended the cargo ramp. “I haven’t seen my parents in a year, an’ they’ll be thrilled to meet the folks I’m workin’ with.” “I’m sure it’ll be a blast,” Mal agreed sarcastically “Thank you for not bringing weapons,” Kaylee continued. “My family, well...” She moved her eyes to and fro. “They think we’re just a shipping boat.” Zoe grinned. “They don’t know we’re the infamous ‘Reynolds Gang’, then, huh?” Kaylee shook her head. “They do not.” Gabriel moved to Simon’s side, clapping him on the shoulder as they walked. “Don’t worry, Buddy. I’m sure Kaylee’s Papa will stop beatin’ ya ‘fore I gotta step in an’ save yer life.” Mal barked a rough laugh, and Simon arched an eyebrow at Gabriel. “Thanks, Kid. Make me feel better. Go for it.” “I think I just did.” Kaylee led the group down the road toward her family’s homestead. It was far more convenient for all to walk it then for four of them to take the mule ahead and let the others catch up. Besides, as cooped up as they had been for the past month on Serenity, they needed the exercise. “Right here,” Kaylee announced as she stopped the gaggle at a cozy home. The house was yellow, a color which Mal despised. The roof tiles were a brown, and there were several lawn gnomes perched before the flower beds that ran the length of the house’s face. “I hate gnomes,” Gabriel professed. “I always think they’re gonna spring to life an’ start stealin’ stuff from us.” “Good rule,” Mal proposed. “No crazy talk in front of Kaylee’s folks.” “I like that rule,” Kaylee agreed, moving up to the door and knocking. “How about no crazy talk *ever?*” Zoe inquired. “Gorram gnomes, anyway,” River muttered. “Stop this!” Simon hissed, glaring both at River and at Gabriel. “But they stole eighty of my wooden spoons!” Gabriel exclaimed, grinning mischievously in River’s direction. River giggled. The door opened as a large, younger man answered the door. His muscular frame was clothed in a white tank top and forest-green cargo shorts. “Kaylee?” he inquired, both surprised and excited. “Hey, Kent,” Kaylee greeted, moving to hug the large man. “What the hell are ya... Well, I didn’t...” Kent grabbed his sister by the shoulders and held her at arms length. “Hot damn, it’s great to see ya! When’d ya get in?” “About twenty minutes ago,” Kaylee replied. “Ma!” Kent called over his shoulder. “Pa! C’mere quick-like! We got a fascinatin’ salesman tryin’ ta sell us these great new shoes!” A deep, male voice could be heard grumbling in the background. “Dammit, Boy, why’d ya let the son of a gun talk to ya fer all...” As the middle-aged man in a denim shirt and jeans lumbered around the corner and feasted his eyes upon Kaylee, his grim expression lighted up like a Christmas tree. “Kaylee!” he exclaimed, rushing to embrace his daughter. “Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee! What the hell are ya doin... Lord, we haven’t seen nor heard from ya in ages! How are you?” “I’m sorry, Daddy,” Kaylee apologized. “We’ve been... real busy lately.” Kaylee’s father grunted. “Boomin’ business, huh?” “Yep.” The big man narrowed his eyes at the group standing behind Kaylee. “An’ these fine-lookin’ individuals are yer crew?” Mal stepped forward to shake his hand. “Malcolm Reynolds,” he introduced. “I’m the captain of Serenity and your daughter’s employer.” “Carl Fry,” came the reply, and Carl crushed Mal’s hand in a big, meaty handshake. “Heard a lot about ya.” “None of it good, I’m guessin’,” Mal returned, flashing a tight smile. “Now, Carl,” a plump, middle-aged woman spoke as she moved up behind him, “I’ve told you, ain’t no good in hurting our guests’ hands.” She grinned and hugged her daughter. “Hey, Baby.” “Hey, Mama!” Kaylee returned. Taking a step back, she turned to the rest of the group. “This is my mother, Anne.” She gestured toward Inara. “This is my best friend, Inara.” Greetings were exchanged. “This is Zoe, and this is River and Gabriel.” “We’re wanted fugitives,” Gabriel explained, shaking Carl’s hand. “And superhumans,” River added. Carl bellowed a deep, hearty laugh. “‘Least ya found a crew with a good sense of humor, Kaylee.” He looked to the last individual to be introduced. “And who might this be?” Taking Simon by the arm, Kaylee moved him up next to her. “This is Simon.” “The doctor you’d go on and on about in your letters?” Anne inquired, and Kaylee’s face turned red. “Oh, yes,” the woman continued. “I believe she mentioned him several times in every letter she wrote.” “Mother...” Kaylee murmured. Gabriel laughed, and from the look he had, it was at something River had told him telepathically. “Simon Tam,” Simon reiterated, shaking Carl’s hand. “Glad to meet you.” “Fancy doctor, yes,” Carl spoke thoughtfully. “Yes, your family must be quite proud.” Kaylee reached down and took Simon’s hand. “Daddy, it’s why we’re here.” She swallowed. “He’s my fiancee. We came home so we could get married. There was silence for a moment as Carl, Anne, and Kent stared at the couple. Finally, Carl cleared his throat. “Huh. That a fact?”