The first night, Mal had spent tucked in next to Zoe, both of them fully clothed. Just so she wouldn't be alone in the bed that should be for two. He didn't sleep, keeping an eye on Zoe, just as they had done for each other during the war.

The second night he spent letting Kaylee drone on at him about buffer panels and grav feeds.

The third night, he spent showing River everything she already knew about flying Serenity, just to keep both of them distracted.

The fourth night, he stayed up playing cards with Simon and Jayne, just so that none of them would have the nightmares.

By the fifth night, Mal was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. He knew every creak and groan Serenity made, so his eyes snapped open wide at the soft knock outside his door.

Inara.

Outside his bunk.

Outside his bunk, which was a disaster zone.

Mal madly scrambled to stuff some of the dirty laundry off the floor and into a duffel bag. As he made a vain attempt to straighten the desk, he called up, "Yeah, 's open!

He caught himself staring as her bare legs started to descend the ladder. Even in her satin shortie pajamas.she looked more like a scared young woman than a high-class Companion, he thought.

He cleared his throat nervously. "Uhhmm, something you need, Inara?"

She looked nervous as she blushed a bit. "I can't sleep."

"Doc should be able to help with that," he said, perhaps a bit more gruffly than he intended.

She looked down at her toes, unable to meet his eyes. Mal could sense her rapid breathing, and his heart rate kicked up in time. Finally, she looked up at him. "How are you doing, Mal?"

That question rocked him back a bit. "Fine. Just dandy. I've got a creepy-genius teen-ager flying my boat, my mechanic has decided to take up with my medic, and I haven't slept in five days. Other'n that, I'm right as rain."

She smiled gently. "So not so good?"

Mal laughed sharply and shook his head. "Not so good."

She stepped closer to him, enough so he could smell night-blooming jasmine and have it wreak havoc on his senses. "Let me help."

Mal had to steady himself. "That's kind of you...uhh...Inara. But I don't think..."

"I'm not here out of pity, Mal. I'm here because I thought you might need looking after yourself." She sounded hurt.

Oh hell, now you've done it Reynolds. Now you've got a wounded female on your hands. Wearing next to nothing. In your bunk.

Mal took a deep breath. "Pity's the last thing I want out of you, Inara."

Now she was crying softly. "What do you want out of me, Mal? You'll comfort Zoe, Kaylee, even Jayne. But me you keep at a distance. Even though I can see you're hurting as well."

Mal gingerly wiped her tears with his thumb. "Because, bao bei, what I want, I've no right to ask for."

She suddenly grabbed his hand, just as she had done right before she'd left Serenity, left him. "This isn't about what you want. This is about what you need."

Before Mal could stop himself, the words came tumbling out. "Maybe what I need is not to want you so badly."

Inara smiled and he suddenly felt parts of him tighten in ways he really didn't want them to. He knew in that instant that he was humped.

"What do you need, Mal?"

Mal suddenly reached forward and cupped her face in his hands. "This."

She tasted of tea and exotic spices. Mal figured that if he traveled from one end of the 'verse to the other, he'd never again taste anything quite like her. And he had no particular desire to test that theory. Finally, he broke the kiss.

She didn't pull back. Or slap him. Or yell. She just stood there, kiss-swollen lips slightly parted. And then, she reached up and pulled him in for another kiss. Mal groaned, as his need was rapidly reaching the point of no return. After what seemed an eternity, she pulled away.

He had to be sure, or he'd never forgive himself. "Is this what you want, Inara? Because you either call a halt right now or there's no turning back."

She shook her head. "No Mal. This isn't at all what I want."

Mal could feel himself starting to crumble inside.

She reached for the waistband of his sweatpants. "It's exactly what I need."