BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - ADVENTURE

MCMORRI1

The Return of the Alliance chapter 1
Friday, November 24, 2006

The Return of the Alliance chapter 1 takes place a few months after the crew's journey to Miranda. Chapter 1 is a sort of introduction to the crew's quest to stop the Alliance from coming back to power before it's too late.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1311    RATING: 8    SERIES: FIREFLY

“River, get away from there and don’t touch that. You know how the captain gets,” yelled Simon. Ever since their trip to Miranda the crew of Serenity was always on their toes especially around River. You could say they were scared or you might say that they were waiting for her to tell them what the Alliance was up to. For over a week now the entire crew could sense that the Alliance was back in action and plotting something sinister. They all knew and they couldn’t deny it. There was nothing they could do; the worst was coming, slowly, but surely.

“Can you stop the ship from rocking cap’n. It’s making my work mighty difficult,” inquired Kaylee. “If you got a problem with my problem with my flyin’ then you can go get River and have her be your slave,” Mal said as he got up and walked off the bridge. “River” Kaylee called. River dashed up to the bridge. “Did you comment on the captain’s flying again?” she asked when she saw there was no one at the helm. “Yeah” “Well if you are planning on doing that again you might want to learn how to fly this boat yourself” “As long as you are teaching me and not the captain” answered Kaylee. “Sit down then and I’ll show you” said River. Within an hour Kaylee was flying like a pro. In the first few minutes of her learning to fly everyone below deck wondered what had happened when the ship jolted to the side a few times, but they all figured that it was Mal again. It wouldn’t have been anything new.

“ I better get back to the engine room and make everything in there is still in working order” Kaylee told River. “I’m sure you have this covered” “Don’t we have a job tomorrow on Londinium” “ we might, but you better ask the captain” “ Just let me know if you need me to take over, I’ll be in the engine room” “Thanks Kaylee” “ Don’t forget to come and get me if you see any Alliance ships and if there is no time run.” “ Don’t worry Kaylee. I remember.” “I’ll go ask the captain about that job” “ Can you also let him know that today when I was searching the Cortex I found us a job on Persephone.” “ I’ll be sure to tell him, but I trust you remember that he isn’t all that fond of the central planets.” “ I know. But it was the only job that I could find. At least ask him if nothing else.” “Shiny, don’t worry mei mei, I’ll ask him” “ Be sure that he reminds Jayne not to wear that funny hat again” “ Got it”

COMMENTS

Friday, November 24, 2006 3:43 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Short...but interesting. A bit too much "show" and not enough "tell." And while it might be realistically smart to have Kaylee trained to fly Serenity...just can't see that happening unless something mucho grande has occurred to warrant said lessons.

There be gold in these hills...just needs a bit more digging and processing to get the good stuff. Maybe a beta to help get things fleshed out concerning how the crew knows the Alliance is back in the dirty deeds game and why is Mal so crotchety.

BEB

Friday, November 24, 2006 5:12 PM

BROWNCOATJIM


the story has promise. one helpful hint: each character's dialogue deserves its own paragraph. it makes it easier to follow who is talking and the gist of the conversation.


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The Return of the Alliance chapter 1
The Return of the Alliance chapter 1 takes place a few months after the crew's journey to Miranda. Chapter 1 is a sort of introduction to the crew's quest to stop the Alliance from coming back to power before it's too late.