Disclaimer: Firefly and all of it’s characters, places, names, etc, are property of Joss Whedon (in other words, this ain’t mine, just writing for fun and grades)

Malcolm Reynolds watched the Reaver ship come closer. Of course, when one can see a Reaver ship it is already uncomfortably close. Wash was in the pilots chair, as calm and cool as one could expect him to be. That is; he was only falling short of being a blithering idiot, and that was only cuz a Zoë having her hand on his shoulder. Woman could work miracles, she could. He punched in the com again. “Kaylee?” After a moment, “Everythin’s shiny, cap’n!” “Ain’t lookin’ so gorram shiny at the mo’. Why ain’t we able to run her?” After another, longer moment, “Um… Serenity’s been actin’ up a bit, Cap’n. ‘Member those power couplings I done tol’ ya ‘bout?” “Gorramit!!!” Mal slammed his fists down onto the control panel he stood in front of. “JAYNE!!!!! Where is that damned slubberdegullion?!?!?!” After a second, the com crackled to life again. “Uh… yeah, Mal?” Mal went deathly quiet. “Jayne? You been doin’ what you oughn’t be doin’ right at the mo’.” It wasn’t a question. And the thing he shouldn’t be doing at the moment was getting hammered. “Yeah, Mal.” “And you’re gonna have a hangover soon.” Again, more a statement than a question. “Yeah, Mal.” “Go to the doc.” “But-“ “Mayhaps you’re forgettin’ who’s the captain here. ‘Member the Chain of Command?” “Yeah, Mal.” The com they were speaking over momentarily burst in to static. “And what is it?” Jayne sighed, voice heavy with liquor. “It’s… the Chain ya beat me with ‘til I understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.” So what if it was Jayne’s words? Mal was never one to pass up a good metaphor. Or whatever. “Good. I’m the captain, an’ you’re the crew. Go see the doc.” “Alrigh’… over n’ out.” Mal rubbed his temples with his free hand while simultaneously coming in Simon. When he picked up, the Tam’s voice was strained. ”Yes, Captain?” “You just got yourself another patient, doc. Make sure Jayne don’t get too bad a hangover.” “Sorry, Mal, but I’m in a bit of a predicament here.” “What kinda-“ He heard a crash, followed by a shriek to wake the dead. “Ah. River.” “River,” parroted Simon. “If you could-“ “Already on it, doc,” said Mal with false cheer. He set the comlink down a moment, only to key in Inara. “Hey, ‘Nara. River’s been actin’ up a bit. You mind helping Simon a bit?” The Companion spoke up after a short pause, her voice tinged with a not quite concealable terror and panic. “Yes, Mal. Sure thing.” The link to her died, and Mal set the com down gently. The Reaver’s had only gotten closer. They were slowly circling around them, like a dog sniffing out prey. Or, more accurately, a wolf. They always hunted in packs. Mal gulped, as Serenity was still conspicuously powered down, a state of affairs which normally he would have ordered. Unfortunately or no, Serenity was dead in the water… err, Black. Whatever. He just wanted some measure of control back in his ship. Which was rapidly being closed in by a Reaver ship. Lao tien bu. Once again, he keyed in the normally dapper mechanic. “Mei-Mei?” “Alls shiny on this end, cap’n!” “Why din’tcha tell me sooner? Give me full communications, I’m tired of usin’ a ruttin’ suit com.” “Ummm…” Was all she said for a moment. And, in Mal’s experience, an ‘Ummm’ by someone in Kaylee’s position usually led to someone being shot- most notably himself. “Mei-Mei? You got someat what needs to be said?” “’Member those Power couplings?” “The ones which I was under the impression that you’d fixed right up when you said that everythin’ is shiny?” “The same. Well… ain’t so shiny now. They’re dead. Beyond anythin’ I can do.” “Fix it.” “Sometimes somethin’ is just too broke ta be fixed with a heart and a screwdriver.” “That’s why we got duct tape,” said Mal. Funny thing, duct tape was one of the few things from Earth-That-Was still made and sold full force, especially on the Rim. Couldn’t find a more useful piece a material in all the ‘Verse, in Mal’s opinion. “Even that won’t work here, Cap’n.” “Wo de ma. Does the ‘Verse make a game outta makin’ my life a ruttin’ Hell?” “Seems like, sir,” said Zoë. Mal paused to give her a half-hearted glare before keying in Simon again. “Doc? For your own sake, you’d best have good news for my ears.” “No such luck, Mal,” came Jayne’s voice. Mal rubbed his temples, not even bothering to care that the Reaver ship was close enough to proverbially spit at. “Jayne, did you not hear when I said that, one, I wanted to speak ta Simon, and that, two, I didn’t want any bad news?” “Sorry, Mal, but we gotta high tail it after Crazy. She went off towards the ‘bay, screamin’ bloody murder. I got Vera, and-“ Now, Jayne had been cussed at plenty of times in his life (and most of them were for a good reason), but never in his life had he ever been called a ‘Scalliwag’ or ‘Slubberdegullion’, whatever that meant. He also distinctly heard the phrase “No guns fired in my ruttin’ ship, you fei fei de pigu!” Grudgingly, he put the safety back on his rather large gun, all the while muttering rebelliously. So, he hardly noticed where they were going until after he rammed straight into the doorway. Rubbing his bruised forehead (never mind his ego), he looked at the hallway. “Ah Hell,” he said. Picking up the small com he had dropped, he called to Mal over it, “Mal, she’s goin’ to the engine!” Mal paused a moment. “Oh… lao tien ye, the ‘Verse just loves makin’ me die slowly.” Jayne rushed into the dim hallway of the powered down ship. *** Normally, Kaylee would have loved working by candle light. There was something so… so utterly enchanting about it that she could hardly contain a girlish squeal at the thought. But, now, she would happily curse all of the candles in existence to a well deserved doom. What was good for a romantic dinner (if a certain doctor weren’t so dense about her) was most definitely not worth anything when it came to working on an engine. The flickering light hardly cast a shadow over the great innards of her girl Serenity. She had a flashlight, and that took up one hand anyways. It was annoying and quite deadly, as the Reaver ship now closing nearer proved to her clearly. Still, she pressed stubbornly onwards. When footsteps sprang up from the hall, she paid it no heed. If it was Reaver’s, she was dead anyway. If it was the Cap’n… well, she couldn’t work any faster anyways. Soft, bare footfalls beckoned her attention. “River?” The flashlight fell from her limp hands, shattering upon the cold metal floor as her world singled out the last thing she had seen. Then, blackness engulfed her. *** The lights went up around him, and Jayne whistled lowly. “Well, lil’ Kaylee musta got this ol’ bucket runnin’ again. ‘Bout gorram time.” Simon didn’t pause while he answered the merc back. “You could at least show a little respect to her, considering that she in all probability just saved our lives.” Jayne smirked at him. “Coulda shoulda woulda, doc. Too late now.” “It’s never too late,” muttered Simon. “Well, I don’t really hafta show any a yer kindness to lil’ Kaylee, as you’re the one she wants to bed. So, you show some gratitude, doc.” This time, Simon really did turn to the man-ape-gone-wrong (thing). “Well, I-“ “DOC!!!!” A single, lonely shot echoed around the ship, casting fear in the hearts of those still standing. Blackness and shadows swallowed up the two. The wraith moved onwards, its intent and destination clear. *** “Ta ma duh! The ‘Verse really does hate me.” Mal made his way to the infirmary. Inara was there, looking shaken. “’Nara? What’s wrong?” “Nothing, Mal. Nothing at all.” “You know, for someone who’s trained to give folks what they want, you’re a horrible liar.” “You’ve said that before.” “Don’t make it no less true, though.” He sighed heavily. “Now, you mind tellin’ me what’s up?” “Well… I… that is to say… not that I really care, but…” “What?” He prompted. “Well… It’s… I… River?” “River? What about?” She wordlessly pointed to the entrance of the small room that they were currently failing having a heart-to heart. Said psychotic girl had closed the door on them, and Mal paled when he heard the distinct sound of it locking. “Lao tien ye.” He immediately went the door, banging on the glass. “Open the ruttin’ door!!!!” “It’s for the best, Captain. I’ll save us.” “River, honey? Where are you speaking from?” The girl held up Jayne’s comm. Unit up to the glass. Before they could speak, the girl had sped off, leaving them on the wrong side of a locked room. “Lao tien bu.” Mal slid to the floor, rubbing at his temples once again. “Why not just shoot out the glass?” She had noticed his pistol, holstered at his side. “Can’t. Bullet proof. Durin’ the war, the ‘firmary was where you’d if you was overrun. Close the door, lock it, vent air. Make the ship into a giant coffin. We’re stuck ‘til someone comes an’ lets us out.” Inara slid down right next to him. “Wo de mah.” *** “It’s for your safety,” said River as she tied up Wash and Zoë. Never had anyone been able to best the Amazon in a hand-to-hand fight. Except River, of course. But, on the flip side, they were both conscious… mostly. But, more to the point, River now had full control of the ship from here. She went to the now working comm. Unit. She dialed in a random channel. Static greeted her. No… growling. She had contacted the Reavers. She spoke something quietly into the comm.. The growling stopped, then began again, more agitated. She spoke again. Another pause, then more chatter. They repeated the process another half a dozen times. Then, the Reavers pulled back, almost sullenly. In a few moments, they were a dot in the distance. “Lao tien ye,” said Wash. “Did she just-?” “Yes, dear.” “Oh… I need a drink.” River smiled innocently at them. They suppressed a shudder.