Again with the wailing.

Mal wasn’t rightly sure what to do. He’d fed her, burped her (ruining his last clean shirt in the process) and even worked up the nerve to change her diaper, and she was still giving him tomato-face. Kid had a set of leather lungs on her, that was for sure.

What the hell was he thinking, agreeing to babysit the little one for Zoe for the evening? Playing the part of Uncle Mal seemed easy enough, at least when he knew he could pass the baby back to her mama when she cried or got wet. But now, he was humped, with Zoe spending some much-needed time alone planetside and him with an armful of wailing baby that wouldn’t settle down.

One thing was certain. This experience was making him think hard and think twice about becoming a daddy himself. Not like he hadn’t toyed with the notion of a little one of his own that was half him and half Inara. Maybe this was Zoe’s way of letting him know it wasn’t gonna be all chubby-cheeked smiles and cooing noises. If so, her plan was working brilliantly.

Mal was aware that there was some sort of mysterious female knowledge that kept Inara from getting knocked up. Nevertheless, he made himself a mental note to stock up on protection his own self, just to be on the safe side.

Maybe Inara’d know what to do. All females had maternal instincts, right? She’d surely have some trick up her sleeve.

Inara opened the shuttle door to find a rather wild-eyed Mal, shirtless, and holding a squalling baby. She could sense the desperation in his voice.

“Please, you gotta help me shush her down. Poor thing’s been at it for near on two hours now.”

Inara stifled a giggle and took the baby, who immediately started to quiet down.

Mal breathed a sign of relief. “Tell me Kaylee ain’t lookin’ to hatch one of these. I don’t think I can take two on my boat at the same time.”

“Oh, I think it’s rather sweet. Making the next generation of petty thieves and all.”

There was a time when he would have bristled at being called such, but they were long past that. In fact, these days, it was a bit of an endearment between them. Nevertheless, his pride insisted on at least a bit more grumbling on the matter.

“Well, mebbeso, but Kaylee ain’t settin’ up a playpen in the engine room.”

Inara laughed and rocked the baby in her arms, eliciting a toothless grin and a small chubby hand wrapped around her finger.

“Hey, Inara? You ever thought about one of these? Of your own, I mean.”

“Mal, a baby is not like a doll. You can’t just return it the first time it burps up on you.”

“Well, I already passed that hurdle. As well as changing her nappy. You should be proud of me.”

Inara blinked. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you? You really think you’re ready?”

Mal looked down at the baby now sleeping in Inara’s arms. “Hell, we survived the dry run, now, didn’t we?”