BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - ROMANCE

WHITEKNIGHT

A River too deep
Tuesday, July 13, 2004

First time writing porn, let me know if I did it well.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4700    RATING: 4    SERIES: FIREFLY

A River too deep By. WhiteKnight. Disclaimer: These characters were merely borrowed and at no time was money ever exchanged. It was just story time. NC-17

“Captain, we’re here,” the voice over the intercom announced. “All right, I’ll be right up. Just take her down gently.” With that, the ship suddenly plowed into the ground a lot harder than Mal would have liked. Shaking his head, he proceeded up the ladder and awaited the door to open. As he waited, he couldn’t help but replay the events that had caused this little detour to become necessary. They had just finished a decent smuggling run when they ran into Reavers. While the damage to the ship was minimal, the loss to the crew was unacceptable. Jayne had spent his take by buying a large supply of drinks and storing them within arms reach. He was so drunk that he didn’t even notice the gun shots above him. Simon said that it was quick and painless, that Jayne didn’t feel anything as his throat got slit. It was little consolation, but it was all that anybody had. The only other bit of strength they had was that they had managed to fight off the Reavers, but sadly at the loss of one. The sudden rush of cool air brought him back to reality. Shaking his head, he stepped off the ship, followed by the majority of the crew. Kaylee was sitting on a crate, talking to Serenity when she heard a soft and somewhat uncertain voice slip into her ear. Sitting up, she was surprised to see somebody standing no more than a few feet from her. “Excuse me, ma’am… but I was wondering if you could help me out,” the newcomer shyly asked. “I can try. What can I do for you,” She replied. “Well, I was wondering if I could talk with your captain.” “He’s out and about right now. What do you need to talk to him about,” Kaylee asked. “I was hoping that he might be able to let me ride along for awhile.” “Are you willing to pay?” “Well, that’s the problem… I don’t have any money. I’m willing to work though.” “Well, the captain needs the money, but what can you do,” She asked. “I’m a psychologist” “Don’t really need on of them on Serenity,” She said, laughing. “I’m also a mechanic. I specialize in metal work.” “You mean welding?” “Yep.” “Now that we might have a need for,” Kaylee said, a smile creeping across her face. “You can come in and wait in the kitchen until the captain comes back.” “Thanks.” With that, Kaylee led him into the kitchen and went off to go see if she could find the captain. This person wasn’t what she considered overly attractive, he was no Simon, but he was decent looking. He was about 6’3”, 190 pounds, black curly hair with silver sporadically placed across his head. Him being a mechanic was a plus in her book; she had longed for somebody else that could love Serenity the same way that she did. After what happened to Jayne, a shrink would be a welcome addition, even if just temporarily. It had been three weeks since Mal had let Ray onto the ship and everybody loved him. He had not only seen each of the crew on a professional level and helped them though the loss of Jayne, but he was also a real card. He was a major goofball in everyone’s eyes. He kept them laughing and he never seemed to have a bad day. In fact, the only person that stayed away from him was River. Since he had arrived on the ship, she rarely left her room. The only time she ever talked to him was when her brother asked Ray to see her on a professional capacity. Something that Simon wasn’t too pleased about. After all, he was the only doctor that had seen her since they had arrived on the ship. Other than that, Simon loved having another doctor on board. It gave him an intellectual equal and somebody that knew what it was like to help other people without really getting any credit for it. “So Ray, what made you want to leave the planet,” Mal asked. “Just thought that it was time for me to get away, that’s all.” “So, you ain’t running from nothing?” “Nope. Just wanted to leave.” “Fair enough” Looking up, Ray caught a quick glimpse of River watching him from the hatch. After a few seconds, she turned away and went back to her room. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Simon. “How is my sister doing Ray,” Simon asked. “It’s hard to say right now. She has been making progress, but what’s odd is that it’s not even progress.” “Even progress,” Book questioned. “Yeah. Ok, let me explain, normally when somebody gets their head shrunk they open up on all levels. They will explain one thing, which leads to another, and so on and so forth. They “heal” evenly. Well, River only talks about one thing at a time so her progress is great in one area, but not in others.” “So, she’s sandbagging you,” Zoe interjected. “Bingo,” Ray replied. “Simon, I have a question for you. What happened to your sister,” Ray asked. “We don’t know that’s the problem. I’ve been trying to figure that out. What I do know, is that they removed part of her brain so she can’t control her emotions.” “She also seems to know what I’m going to say before I say it,” Ray said. “I was hoping that YOU could tell me more about that, “Simon said. “Well, there were tests done a few years ago by the military where they operated on the brains of people in order to amplify their brain waves and, with the right training, they hoped to be able to channel those waves and use them to suit the military’s needs.” “Hold on, what you are talking about,” Wash asked. “He’s saying that the military cut up certain peoples’ brains in order tap their psych abilities in order to give them an edge,” Mal interjected. “How do you know about that though? We had to hack into their system to learn about that.” “They called me in to brief them on the human mind. I didn’t think anything of it because they killed the project a few months after it started… or so they said.” “So you’re saying my sister can do things with her mind,” Simon asked. “Who knows… I don’t think so, she hasn’t done anything yet.” “Well, ladies and gents, I’m going to call it a night. I’ll see you all later,” Ray said, as he pushed his chair back and headed towards his room. Sticking his head around the corner Ray watched as River left the kitchen and headed towards the helm. She had done this for the past couple of nights; she had made a habit of kicking his door each time that she passed it, so Ray thought it would be worth his while to check it out. Sneaking down the hall, he was very careful to make sure that he didn’t alert River to his presence. He wanted to make sure that his plan was perfect. She was looking out the window watching the starts drift by when Ray entered the room. She didn’t seem to notice that he was there. Shaking his head, he suddenly started to realize that River was actually very attractive. She was very skinny and had a very nice set of shoulders. Her creamy skin shimmering from what light there was in the room. Not to mention her black hair always had a wonderful luster to it. “Nobody would know if something was to happen,” He thought. “It would just be another story.” A wicked smile crossed Rays’ face as he crouched down low and started to slip his way closer to the unsuspecting River. He only had one chance at this, and he had to make sure that he did it right. He was right behind her when he took his shirt off exposing his lightly toned chest to the somewhat cooler air of the cabin. In one fluid movement, Ray slammed River against the glass and slid his shirt across her open mouth to ensure that she didn’t scream, alerting the rest of the crew. Ray was now more than happy that Jayne had been killed because from what he had been told, he would have been his only real threat to what was about to happen. Tying the sleeves of the shirt into a knot behind Rivers head, Ray was pleased to know that no sound would escape her lips as he had his way with her. Keeping her pressed firmly against the window he ripped the neck of her shirt and slowly placed his moistened lips to her newly exposed skin. “God, she tasted good. Almost as good as she smelled.” Inch by inch, Ray crept up Rivers neck and across her jaw line. Stopping only long enough to subdue what little resistance River offered up. Parting his lips, he let his tongue trace down the same line his lips had just created. Down her neck and continuing down her shoulders. He made sure to pay special attention to her spine. The shudder that coursed up her body told Ray that, regardless what she wanted, her body was reacting to him. Deciding that he wanted more than just the shoulders to play with, Ray finished what he has started when he ripped her collar. Her shirt, now lying on the floor tattered, furthered his desire. Her back was flawless. Smooth. Shiny. She had enough muscle tone that it created a delightful ravine effect down the length of her spine. “A perfect place to use some ice.” Shifting his arms, his forearm pressed against Rivers upper back, leaving his other arm free to trace circles and lines across her buttery skin. He was very careful to put as little pressure on her back as he could. He was more than just a little aware that the lighter the touch, the more the feeling. Keeping his forearm where it was, he slide down her body, never letting his skin break contact with hers, kissed down the length of her spine and continued back up the right side of her body. Standing back up, he leaned close to her ear, his hot breath washing over her. “You’re going to be a good girl and stay right where you are, right?” All River could was nod her head, which was far more than Ray needed to continue. Her back was fine, but he wanted to slide one of her sweet nipples into his mouth. That was simply to whet his appetite though. There was a lot more that was going to happen. Spinning her around roughly, Ray stared into the same eyes he had stared into for the past three weeks. Her eyes what held his interest though. His goal was only a few inches from his lips. Reaching down, he cupped her right breast in his hand and began to pinch and pull on her pink nipple. His other hand slid down her pants and encircled her slightly damp pussy. Being an expert in the ways of the mind, he knew that keeping her in suspense would make her wetter than any kind of attention ever could. Crouching down. he gently traced an inward circle with his tongue around her nipple finally coming to a stop on the tip. Rivers’ chest thrust forward and a sharp breath escaped around the gag. Gently biting down on her nipple, he slid his middle finger into her now dripping core, wiggling it back and forth once he had bottomed out. Letting go of her right breast, Ray unzipped his pants and freed his throbbing penis from its constraints. All the while, he had started to suck on the nipple that he had been biting only recently. As he sucked, he let his tongue flick softly back and forth, simply grazing the tip of her nipple. He couldn’t take it anymore; it was time he got down to business. Ripping his hand out of her pants, Ray pulled River to the floor and hurriedly pulled her shorts off. Ripping his own pants off, Ray tossed them aside. Looking up, Ray could see the obvious signs of fear in River’s eyes. Not that it mattered to him. Pushing against her legs, Ray was upset to discover that River was resisting. Forming a wedge with his hands, he forced her legs apart, exposing her hairy mound. Quickly sliding between her legs, Ray wasted no time. Grabbing his cock, he slowly started to masturbate using the hand that had, just a few minutes ago, been inside of River. Looking down to make sure that he was as hard as he could possibly be, Ray started running the head of his penis up and down her lips, making sure to pay extra attention to her clit. Finally, after seeing the first glimpse of moisture running down her slit and ass, which he quickly cleaned up with his finger, he began pushing himself into her. “hwoo dahn you’re tight,” Ray said, just loud enough so that River could hear him. Savoring the feelings of how tight and wet she was, Ray was hesitant to pull out again. Much to his delight, it was only a temporary separation for he slowly began to plow into her repeatedly. Hooking his arms around her legs, he pulled River closer to him so that he could go as deep as possible. Deciding to switch it up some, he started rotating his hips, grinding into her. The sound of slicked skin mixed with the pleasure of rubbing the inner walls of his victim, echoed in his ears. It just turned him on all the more. He began to pick up his pace, switching from a rapid pounding back to the rotations. Pulling completely out, Ray again began to masturbate and rub the head of his dick against her clit. He pushed himself half way in her and then just slammed into her as hard as he could. To his surprise, River began to push back against his rapid and almost animalistic assault. In fact, she was pushing so hard against him she was actually lifting him off the ground. The wonderful smell of sex wafted into his nostrils… hot, sweaty, uncontrollable sex. He wasn’t going to be able to take much more, but he wasn’t able to stop. At some point, River had pulled off the gag and was now panting heavily. “Tianna, I can feel it coming. I’m going to cum River,” Ray said though clenched teeth. After a few more hard thrusts, Ray rammed his dick into River one final time as he erupted deep inside of her. His dick jumped inside of River, bumping the roof of her hole, throbbing as spurt after spurt of hot cum flooded into River. After what seemed like minutes, he collapsed on top of her. Both of them were slick with sweat and glistening in the soft glow of the instrument panel. “I don’t get it,” Ray said, between pants. “You seemed to enjoy what happened to you.” “I did. Only because I was controlling you.” “Controlling me? What do you mean,” Ray asked. River simply smiled, tapped her head, and ran her fingers though his hair.

COMMENTS

Tuesday, July 13, 2004 5:49 PM

WILDHEAVENFARM


I'm all twitterpated. This is the first non-con piece that I've like without major reservations. Do more!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 2:15 PM

WHITEKNIGHT


Ok, as the author of this piece of fiction I have some requests. The main one being that I'm not opposed to feedback, good, bad, or otherwise. If you don't like my writing, or its content, by all means let me know, just make sure that you back up your statements. If you think it's offensive, tell me why. Other than, "I just think it is."

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 5:21 PM

VEARSTWIN


I think that your is very offensive! I don't think that you should write a Firefly porn story.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 5:37 PM

WHITEKNIGHT


That last post was from me, just so there are no illusions that I'm afraid to attach my name to something that I wrote.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 9:50 PM

GUILDSISTER


Well... I stopped when I got to the porn part, 'cause I just really couldn't assess whether it was good porn writing or not ;-). That being said, however, up to that point I thought you did some pretty decent writing. A tad terse sounding at some points which, IMO, came from a touch too much narrator exposition rather than having a character present the info from his/her own perspective. And in that regard you jump from POV to POV rather abruptly--even within paragraphs. You might try sticking within a single character's head (point of view) in a piece this length, or possibly two characters with a clear indicatation of when you switch from one to the other.

Glancing over (blushingly, I admit) the more explicit portion of the story, strictly noting the words on the page and how they were formatted rather than the imagery presented, I'd have to say the writing settled down into a more concise presentation with much clearer POV use.

Thursday, July 15, 2004 7:13 AM

WHITEKNIGHT


Guildsister,
Thank you for the advice. I'll make sure that I pay more attention to those details in future stories. I also want to thank you for being the only one thus far that has taken a more mature view of my writing and it's content.

Monday, July 19, 2004 10:09 AM

SERENITYSMYBOAT


u suck u shouldnt use firefly to beat off you pervert who cant get any

Tuesday, July 27, 2004 3:18 AM

WHITEKNIGHT


I wanted to say thank you to the last two people that posted. You may never read this reply, but I feel that I should say thank you regardless. It's always good when somebody tells you that they like your writing. Even more so when 98% of your feedback is worthless. So, again thank you, and if you're interestered I do have another story out. The "Good" Book.

Friday, September 10, 2004 11:29 AM

ANGELGURL244


This is actually a pretty good piece.... I have read all your other "porn" stories, and I agree with those who are defending you. Your pieces are nothing more than your spin on the story line, and those who can't deal need to suck up.
You state clearly in this piece, as well as your following pieces, that is is porn, both in the description AND at the beginning.

You have a talent for certainly evoking the images, which might be why some are disturbed by it... since they might be somewhat childish and want to pretend nothing like this happens in stories... let alone real life.

Over all, a very good piece. Keep up the good (and "good") work. LOL.

This is my major posting, since I doubt you want me ranting at the idiots in every posting for your stories. But your stories are all very good. Grats and kudos to you.

Thursday, August 4, 2005 2:24 PM

R1Z


Sorry, you lost me when I read that Jayne was dead. Don't even think it!

Friday, October 21, 2005 5:00 PM

TRANQUILITY


a little sloppy with the actual events... but besides that, it was good.
@all who have read this story and not liked it- I am neutural. While I beleive that killing someone else's character is wrong, i also think some people enjoy writing about it. It is interesting to see new POV's and such. Ok story, try to tone down the actual graphic sex though. Sex is best used as comic releif in my book ;)


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