He Never Left Serenity: Cindy’s Diary III

I don’t think I can go back.

I searched the infirmary; it wasn’t any different than the rest of the ship. Empty. The shelves were completely bare, the counters covered in dust. Not a single record or note or anything to prove that the infirmary had ever been in use. What if the Captain had been sick, and the doctor just left him and without medical attention, he had no choice but to land the ship and die? I couldn’t take it. I’ve come to love Serenity and her Captain and the thought of him dying all alone angered me to the point that I screamed at the doctor. “I hate you!” I screamed at his ghost. “I don’t know your name but I hate you for leaving him!”

I sat down on the floor and cried for a while, and then had to laugh at myself. I don’t know anything yet, just jumping to conclusions. Letting my over active imagination get the best of me. Again. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths and tried to focus on the room. Maybe I could get a feeling for it like with the Bible. Nothing. No whispers from the shadows to solve my mystery.

I dried my face and got back on my feet. There was nothing to find here and other rooms to be explored. The next room over gave me more answers than I wanted. It had been the doctors’ room. I only know this because he had left a letter on the bed, addressed to Captain Reynolds. I carefully unfolded the yellowed paper and read. “Captain Reynolds, I cannot express my gratitude nor ever repay the debt that I owe you for taking in River and myself. I know that without your assistance, we both would have been captured. River would have been sent back to the academy and I would have been tried and executed for crimes against the Alliance. You gave us safety, hope and the chance at a new life. I swear on River’s life that I will do everything in my power to make Kaylee happy. I’ll keep her well stocked in engine grease and spare parts. Her father gave us permission to marry, but I know that your blessing meant more to her. It meant a great deal to me as well. Please say goodbye to Zoe and Jayne for us. Kaylee waved Inara this morning with her good bye. Recalling one of our first conversations, you told me that to still be flying was enough. I didn’t understand what you meant then, but I think I do now.

Good luck and farewell, Dr. Simon Tam”

I sat on the bed, ignoring the dust that clouded around me from the movement. The doctor left and took Kaylee with him. I suppose they took River as well. That left Zoe, Jayne and Inara with the ship. Captain Reynolds. That’s a good, strong name. But what happened to the three women? I guess I was wrong about the Bible. I carefully refolded the letter and placed it back on the bed. Depression sat heavy on my shoulders as I walked towards the cockpit. I stood there and stared at Captain Reynolds for a while, not knowing really what to say. I just turned away, resisting the urge to kiss his skeletal cheek.

“Good bye Captain Reynolds.” I whispered over my shoulder. “I hope you found your peace.”