Emily Dickinson

"Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune--without the words, And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An uncommon side effect, he says.

Rare but not unheard of.

The fertility drugs of now insure that one child is born.

And only one.

But only if you have the money to pay for the highest echelon of any given drug.

Needless to say, they didn’t have that kind of money.

So what he used was cheaper, reliable, but infinitely cheaper.

It has side effects.

He didn’t know whether he should be happy for her, or if he should apologize.

She didn’t know either.

She'd been ready for one child.

But two?

She’s not upset, not unhappy.

Just shocked.

She had asked for the one, hardly daring to believe that she would be given that much.

And now she finds that she has been given two.

In the begining she had been afraid.

She was sick so often, it had started a mere week after she had been impregnated, Simon had been worried.

He hadn’t said anything, but for those that knew him, the very fact that he would not give a straight answer, the way he avoided eye contact, the way he kept his face expressionless, said it all for him.

A week after she had been given something she had thought was lost to her forever, she feared she would lose it.

She didn’t think she could have survived the loss.

No matter that there was more sperm, more drugs, more time.

If she had lost this pregnancy, she would have lost everything.

All over again.

And she couldn’t do that again.

But the weeks passed, with her still pregnant, enduring daily checkups.

And nearly hourly vomiting.

She carried a bucket everywhere.

Even into Badger’s “office”.

The misery was almost worth it to see the look on his face when she’d puked into it in the middle of negotiations.

Which had ended rather abruptly and in their favor.

He’d looked a little green.

But he’d sent her a card…and a hat for the “little’un”.

She’d started showing early.

Two months in, instead of the normal three.

That had worried her.

And Simon.

River had just smiled, patted her arm, and said “Elpis”.

Sometimes that girl made her want to smack her.

Especially when she smirked at her when she thinks about doing it.

Especially then.

As soon as he was able, Simon had given her, her first look at her baby.

On their brand new fetal monitor, which Jayne had stolen for her.

But there hadn’t been one baby.

There had been two.

Two.

She’d been very mad at the universe, at a God she wasn’t sure she believed in, when she’d first found out.

Where was that generosity when Wash had died?

She had asked for one, hoped for one, prayed for one.

And she was given two.

Giving with one hand and taking with the other.

Simon had relaxed though.

He said there were concerns involved in multiple births but that everything that she’d experienced thus far was in the realms of normal.

At least if she was pregnant with two babies.

Kaylee’d been delighted. Had insisted on coming up with two more names, another boy's name and another girl's…just in case.

Inara too had been happy for her.

River’d smiled knowingly, and then smirked when she’d thought again of smacking her.

But she had come up with the girl’s name, Arête, virtue.

And she’d agreed…may as well have hope and virtue on the ship, even if in name only.

There’d been some debate about the second boy’s name.

Especially when she’d vetoed Wash and Hoban.

He’d hated his name, and made her promise never to inflict it on another defenseless child.

She wanted too, but she’d promised.

She’d also vetoed Malcolm.

Not because it wasn’t a good name, and not because she was unwilling to name her child after her greatest friend, but because Wash wouldn't have liked it.

As much as he'd loved and respected Mal, he'd been jealous of him, so she wouldn't agree to name his child after him.

Inara had come up with the second boy’s name.

Abisha, God’s gift.

She wasn’t sure that she liked its meaning.

Still not sure if she believed in him.

But it worked.

Had a nice symmetry.

One boy named for a Sheperd of God, the other a gift from God.

It didn't matter though they would be girls.

Simon hadn’t told her.

She hadn’t asked him too, not because she wanted it to be a surprise.

But because River’d told her.

Not intentionally.

And not in so many words.

But she’d known about the twins.

She was sure of that.

And the fact that she made no suggestions for the boy’s names was telling.

But mostly it was the look on her face when anyone mentioned baby boys.

She’d seen that look on other faces before.

The “I know something you don’t know” look.

She’d wanted a boy.

One with blond hair and laughing blue eyes.

Even though she’d known that the possibility of blond hair with her genetic profile was not a big one.

But she’d hoped...

She laughed, again with the Hope.