I waited for you today But you didn’t show

A small cafe, just outside Capitol City. When they were younger, they’d always sneak onto the train and come here for sticky buns. Simon tapped the stirring straw on the rim of his long-cold coffee cup and checked his watch again. He’d surely be reprimanded for disappearing from the hospital in the middle of the day, but barring some unscheduled, emergency surgery, they should be able to hold the fort down without him. He pulled out River’s letter again. It had been months since he’d heard from her and the letter had made no sense at first. Could he have misinterpreted her message? Could he have been deluding himself thinking she’d written him some kind of code? It was just a simple rendezvous for sticky buns and reminiscing. And she’d stood him up.

I needed You today So where did You go?

River cried out in her sleep, tossing the covers from her body, soaked with sweat. She yelled and hollered for Simon, ripping and tearing at her mattress. Ripping and tearing at her own flesh. He had to be in here. He was right here, disappointed with her. He was sitting alone and he was disappointed because she wasn’t there. But she was! Her fingers were sticky from too many sugary treats, her flesh imprinted with the crisscross pattern of the wrought-iron chairs. She tore out the fluff of the mattress, situating herself between the springs in a sitting position and waited for him to show. Simon, where are you?

You told me to call Said you’d be there

River cried out as strong arms restrained her, pulling her from the springs and shreds of the mattress. A needle pierced the skin of her arm and she screamed, the world reassociating, the drab gray walls coming together to form a room. Had Simon not received word? She needed to be rescued from this place. Would they let her send another letter?

And though I haven’t seen you Are you still there?

Simon sprawled on his king size bed in the corner flat of his riverside condo, weary from a double-shift at the hospital, but sleep eluded him. Everything eluded him at the moment. The animosity between himself and his parents. The reason for River's absence at the coffee house. Too tired to eat, he filled himself with River’s words, starting with the oldest of the letters she’d written – the ones that made sense. He could almost hear her reading them in his head, her sweet voice teasing him. Maybe his parents were right and the latest letter was a game. But then, she’d misspelled ‘dancing.’ River had always been a stickler for spelling, even in games. And of all the words to misspell. Simon blinked away the tiredness and the worry, rolling on his side and kicking off his shoes. He could almost see her face, right there, talking to him.

I cry out with no reply And I can’t feel you by my side

River huddled in the corner of the room, the concrete floors sucking heat from her body. This room had no mattress and she knew she’d have a fair amount of explaining to do in the morning. If they let her speak. Her eyes closed, she reached out mind, body, and spirit, crying out for Simon. He did not answer. He was asleep on his bed, holding her letters, trying to wring truth from them – or at least wring her presence. “They’re hurting us. Get me out,” she told him, tears falling on her cheeks. But he wasn’t hearing her. River reached out a hand to nudge him awake, but her fingers hit the cold, rock wall of her new cell. His presence dissolved, replaced by the cool air of reality. If only this place were the nightmare.

I’ll hold tight to what I know You’re here and I’m never alone

River stood on shaky legs, eyes closed, and felt her way around the room. Smooth surfaces, right angles. The joints of the door flush with the wall. Just a moment ago, Simon had been here and she was talking to him. He had her letters, her words, her mind. Now, all she had to do was wait. He was as good as here.

We cannot separate ’Cause you’re part of me

Simon waved the letters angrily in his father’s face, but to no avail. His parents had at best skimmed them and gone on with their cocktail parties and boating excursions. He sank, discouraged, into the velvet armchair by the fireplace, letting the letters flutter into the flame. He knew them by heart, even if his parents never would. They did not lie in bed at night and see her face, begging for comfort. They didn’t see the tears in her eyes as she cried out for help. They didn’t believe she could be in any danger at the hands of an Alliance-sponsored program, but then nor did he at first. Simon didn’t know how she’d been hurt, but every infirmed body that rolled through the ER on a stretcher had River’s face, crying out in pain, pleading for help. He could taste the anguish on the back of his tongue as the papers burned and the words of his parents poured through his mind like lemon juice on a paper cut. It wasn’t just because they were apart, he told himself. It wasn’t.

And though you’re invisible I’ll trust the unseen

River’s fingers smoothed over his face, his eyes, his nose, his chin. She knew he wasn’t real, but one day he might be. Another needle shoved through her brain, bleeding red into her eyes and she yelped in surprise. They didn’t know it, but every ‘test’ they tried, every ‘experiment’ made her stronger. Allowed her to see more deeply into the truth of things. Connected her more firmly to her brother. She had him. He knew her message. His pain and his worry constantly kept her, his presence more real than the air she breathed. River felt her life jarred from her body momentarily and her mind looked on with worry. Electricity jolted through her organs. What were they doing to her in the waking world? She felt Simon surge with worry and clung tightly to his presence. The feel of him under her fingers may never be real again. All tactile interaction may be purely phantasmal. But she could hold out one more day, crying his name. Hoping against hope that he would find his way to her. So long as he lived, she had to keep living too.

I cry out with no reply And I can’t feel you by my side So I’ll hold tight to what I know You’re here and I’m never alone

*~*