PART 10

Jamie was hiding out in Uncle Mal and Aunt ‘Nara’s master bathroom. It was once a room in itself, but since they’d had no need for it as such, they’d knocked down a few walls and added a hot tub and a lot of counter space. Despite the occasional scented candle, there was a mark of simplicity that made it comfortable for a man to share this space. There were no floral patterns or fruity colors. The shower was huge with dual heads – one at the perfect height for Mal, the other for Inara. The lighting around the vanity on one of the sinks was perfect for shaving. The hot tub was broad enough and long enough for Jamie to recline in without feeling claustrophobic, which was saying a lot. Jamie decided that one day he’d have a bathroom like this. His apartment on Osiris had a tiny bathroom and his shower sprayed water on his shoulders. The latter problem had arisen only because he’d grown six inches since signing the lease.

Jamie was lying down, tossing a scented fizzy ball in the air and catching it again. Everyone had seen he was tired, and they’d probably thought he’d found some place to crash. As tired as he was, he couldn’t stop turning Uncle Jayne’s words in his head. Now his dad knew something too, but at least he’d had the decency to not ask too many questions. If he told mom, she’d tell Aunt ‘Nara who’d tell Uncle Mal. He shouldn’t have come.

Jamie heard the bathroom door open and he debated whether he should keep hiding and hope the person didn’t look in the tub. He peeked over the edge to see who it was, and when his inflatable pillow croaked, he was suddenly staring down the barrel of a gun.

“Genny!” he said holding up his hands in surrender.

His sister recognized him, clicked on the safety, and let out a string of curses. “Yesu, Jamie.”

He appreciated that she didn’t ask him what he was doing here, but he didn’t want to ignore her, so he sat on the edge of the tub and started tossing the fizzy ball again. Her face was red and her eyes bloodshot, and she washed her face in the sink, then started perusing the make-up cabinets to paint over her splotchy skin so that no one would know she was upset. It was too late for her as well.

“Did you and Cole work out … whatever it is you needed to work out?” he asked. He didn’t want to pry too much, but he figured he’d talk to Cole in the morning and he wanted to know what temper he’d find his friend in.

Genny took a deep breath, pursed her lips, and blew the air out slowly. “Yeah, I guess we can’t hide that there’s something to know.”

“Showing up to a family gathering was your first mistake,” he said with a wry smile. “Or at least it was mine.”

Genny sat next to him and put an arm around him as if to say ‘glad you’re here.’ She brushed over that tender spot on his back where the skin around his tattoo was infected. He winced and shifted her arm lower, letting her continue to lean on him, because she looked like she needed it. But she stood up and walked away from him. She was torn about something, and staring at herself in the mirror like she could will the pieces of herself back together.

“I want to be here,” she said softly. “I just wish I had more time to work this out in my head before…”

“Before everyone knows,” Jamie finished, thinking more of his own turmoil than hers. He looked away from her.

“And they all want to know –”

“And they want you to tell everyone –”

“Like it’s good news.”

“Like you’re a hero.”

Jamie tugged at the strands of his hair bitterly and stared vaguely at the space in front of him.

“I went to Osiris – to your lab,” Genny confessed and Jamied cringed. “I was going to throw a bag over your head and drag you out kicking and screaming if that’s what it took to get you here.”

Jamie shot her a look and she smiled sheepishly at him in the mirror.

“Yeah, I didn’t realize you’d gotten so buff.”

She waited, seeing if he’d explain why he wasn’t there or if that was one of the things he wanted more time on. When he kept silent, she spoke again.

“You weren’t at your lab, and no one there seemed to know where you were. They thought you were working from home, because every now and then they’d get a wave or another draft of a paper. So I went to your apartment, but you weren’t there either. I fed the fish and watered the plants because they looked neglected. Your fish is on my ship, by the way.” Genny turned and sat on the countertop, so she could face him directly. “I checked the hospital, but they said you finished your clinical rotations. I kept looking, but … Uncle Jayne got wind, and he told me to stop worrying and just come here. I thought he’d had the same idea. I thought you’d be here when I got here and when you weren’t …”

Her face stayed expressionless, and her eyes begged to know why her search had turned up fruitless, but she wouldn’t ask more of him than she was willing to give of herself. “I’m glad you’re okay. You are –”

“I’m okay,” he assured looking at his hands. The mere fact that she refused to ask made him want to tell her, but he didn’t know how. Putting on a brave smirk, he grinned at her. “I got a new tattoo.”

Genny rolled her eyes. She’d lost fifty platinum betting him he wouldn’t get his first tattoo, even though she’d dared him right in the middle of his own birthday party with everyone watching. It was a small Chinese kanji for ‘genius’ – the design was Cole’s idea – on the inside of his forearm.

Jamie shrugged off his vest and unbuttoned his shirt. He was about to chicken out, and stop there. He could push up the sleeve and show her Caduceus on his bicep that he’d gotten a few months back, marking him as a doctor. But so long as he didn’t have to say anything out loud, he could press on. He pulled off his undershirt and turned around so she could see. It was a long tattoo on his back starting at the base of the neck and going below the waistline, framing his spine. There was a bandage over the infected part, and it was on cleanly enough that she would know their father had dressed it.

She would know by the fuzziness of the lines that he didn’t get this tattoo from a parlor. He wasn’t surprised when she opted for an easier conversation and touched the Caduceus first.

“I thought you were going to wait ‘til graduation to get this one,” she remarked.

“I did it after my first publication,” he shrugged. “It seemed appropriate.”

He tensed as her fingers ghosted over his shoulder blades and traced the ink on his back, searching for the right words as though they were encrypted in the design.

“This cost more than the others,” she finally said.

It meant something that she recognized the cost without criticizing the silence. It was Uncle Jayne’s first question. It was his dad’s first question. Anyone else who found out would also likely ask him why he didn’t say something sooner.

“We give everything for the ones we love,” he explained. “Someone had to take the hit, and there’s no sense in all of us getting pinched.”

“Yeah, but I would’ve … brought you cigarettes or illicit drugs to trade for protection or something.”

Jamie chuckled at the thought, but he didn’t want to tell her about the inside. He just wanted to keep her from getting there herself. With his secret revealed, Jamie pulled on his shirts again and sat on the side of the tub. They’d both come in here to hide, but Jamie was here first, so if she wanted to be alone, she’d have to find some place else.

“I want you to leave Osiris and come be a medic on my ship,” she said seriously, hopping on the countertop again and kicking her feet at the air. She thought she could protect him and he resented it. Plus, he’d never get his perfect man’s bathroom on a space ship.

“I have school to finish,” he said dismissively. “I have work. I run that whole damn lab.”

“You were gone for I don’t know how long, and no one even noticed,” she pointed out. “I want you to be in the company of people who notice.”

“I don’t have to live on your ship for that,” Jamie groused. “You could have noticed if you wanted. Uncle Jayne noticed.”

“I had other things on my mind,” Genny said, her face suddenly clouding over and her eyes misting. Before he knew it, there were tears streaming down her cheeks and she grabbed for a tissue to catch them.

“Right, this whatever-it-is between you and Cole,” Jamie said, crossing the room and pulling her into a forgiving hug. “When did you become such a cry baby?”

Genny laughed tearfully at herself. “It’s a recent development.”

She wiped her face, frustrated by her moment of weakness, and brooded quietly. Jamie sat next to her on the countertop and put an arm around her. It wasn’t often that he saw her guard drop like that. She wasn’t just torn about something, she was tortured.

“I showed you my ink,” he said. “Now tell me what’s marked you with so much pain.”

He waited a long time for her answer. His legs went numb from sitting on the countertop and he started trying to list all the amino acids alphabetically in his head, just to keep his mind off it. Genny kicked her shoes off and then kept kicking the air.

“I haven’t told anyone,” she whispered. “I wasn’t even going to tell Cole. I was just gonna … and then Cole found out and now he’s … and now I can’t – I can’t…”

“Finish sentences?” Jamie asked and they laughed uncomfortably. He squeezed her across the shoulders. “If it’s enough for you that Cole knows, you don’t have to tell me.”

He waited again, watching his sister. She took deep breaths, like she was terrified to speak, and was building up the nerve.

“I’m gonna have a baby,” she said quickly, then choked. She forced a smile, but couldn’t maintain it, and she panted, trying to feel as excited as she was supposed to about the whole thing. Jamie watched her, staying completely dead-panned, waiting for her to stop faking emotion so he could see what she really felt. Finally she calmed and she watched him expectantly, desperate for a response.

“It is a natural side-effect of all that sex you two have been having,” he said pretentiously.

That got him a genuine smile, but only for a moment. He shouldn’t have forced her to talk so soon. She wasn’t ready.

“Did you tell Cole you had planned to terminate?” he asked.

Genny shook her head and looked shamefully at her knees. In his clinical rotations, Jamie had counseled a few young women through abortions. Some never made it to the table. Some made it to the table, but left when they saw the heart-beat. Some finished the deed with full confidence they’d made the right decision. Now that Cole knew, Genny felt she had lost her choice.

“I’ll talk to him,” Jamie said. “We’ll see if we can fix this before it gets out of hand.”

“I can fight my own battles,” she said strongly.

“I’m sure you can, but it doesn’t look to me like you are,” he countered.

“Well, we talk, and it always makes sense in the end to just keep going,” Genny said meekly, covering her mouth with her hand, and fighting back tears. Jamie knew that Cole could talk a person into walking off a cliff if he had a mind to. It was his special gift. Genny didn’t know her mind on this matter and she wasn’t going to know until she was fighting tooth and nail to get her way.

“I know this face on you,” Jamie said, pulling her hand away from her lips and squeezing her fingers. “We shared a womb, remember? There we were growing nose hairs and toe nails and stuff and when it was time to go out, you got that same look on your face and made me go out first.”

Genny laughed at him again and clung wistfully to the metaphor. “Well we were starting this whole new life, you know. We had no idea what we were in for; we were just told to sail out into the fog and hope for the best. Everyone says it’s worth the journey…”

She stood up and paced the room, wrapping her arms protectively around her middle. Jamie slid off the countertop and shook out his legs, keeping an eye on her, but giving her space.

“Let me ask you this. Since you found out, have you felt happy at all? Have you felt anything besides fear?”

Genny thought, but was clearly coming up empty. “I was happy that you didn’t squeal joyfully about being an uncle and shower me pre-canned congratulations. Cole is so excited and …”

She fisted the front of her shirt, grabbing hold of her emotions and shelving them again. She wasn’t free to feel any of it. Coming next to Jamie, she vaguely traced the buttons on his shirt, like she was touching the tattoo again.

“We give everything for the ones we love,” she whispered. Jamie grabbed her wrist sharply.

“Not this,” he said firmly, and she looked at him in shock. “Yeah, I lost a little time and gained a tattoo. I can have the mark removed at any time. You … if you don’t want this child, you have a limited time in which to say. You can’t have a baby removed whenever you want.”

“But I … I don’t want …” she whispered.

“I can do the procedure myself,” he said forcefully, jerking her arm and pulling her to the door. “We’ll use the Infirmary on your ship and be done with it tonight.”

“Okay,” Genny said uncertainly, letting herself be pulled.

They were lucky the bedroom was empty, but there was no way they’d get out the front door without being seen. Jamie wondered how far they would get. Would she stop him when she saw the heart beat? Cole would never forgive him, but Jamie didn’t know what else to do. He had to choose between his sister and his best friend.

Jamie motioned Genny toward the window facing the front of the house. He pushed out the screen and they climbed onto the porch awning. Taking her wrists, he swung her down, lowering her gently until her feet touched the porch railing. He was tall enough to make the drop on his own.

They froze when they heard laughter from the back yard.

“Cole,” Genny whispered. “I can’t.”

“No one has to know,” Jamie whispered. “We’ll tell Cole you miscarried.”

Genny nodded, but her feet didn’t move. Jamie tugged her hand, but she jerked away from him. “No … No! It will kill him.”

“What about you? He’ll get past it,” Jamie assured. “Cole loves you.

“Not Cole. My baby,” Genny wept, falling to her knees. Jamie hugged her tightly and rocked her side-to-side, wondering if he was so lucky that they’d stop here. He wasn’t going to carry her. If she wanted this, she’d have to walk on her own two feet. He loved his sister, and he’d do anything for her, and no matter what the repercussions, he was offering her this choice.

*~*

Michael lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, processing everything that had been said tonight. It was a cruel irony that in finding out he could trust Courtney with his secrets, he may have blown his chance at ever having a relationship with her. They’d talked for awhile, but she was agitated and edgy, and he couldn’t find any of the words that he wanted. He didn’t tell her she was a soother, because he didn’t want her to feel like there were any false pretenses in their friendship. Cole had gone all these years not knowing.

At least she hadn’t left. She was lying in bed with her back turned to him, and he reached out and touched her hair, coiling her dark brown curls around his finger. In his head, he kept apologizing for hurting her, but he’d said it out loud more than once already and she’d asked him to stop. She hadn’t known about him – she’d only suspected. But Berke knew. It would be a whole new day, going back to his ship now, knowing that at least part of his new family shared his secret and had been protecting him all along. They were leaving at mid-day for a job, and being able to use his abilities without hiding the fact he was … it changed everything down to the entrance strategy.

Sighing heavily, Michael realized he needed to get some sleep or he’d be completely useless for the job. He combed his fingers through Courtney’s hair again, and smiled softly. He loved her so much, it was too easy to forget they’d been fighting. Rolling onto his side, he gazed at her dreamily, daring to hope this wouldn’t be the last time they shared a bed.

“If I told you I love you, would that be too much for one day?” he whispered.

Courtney rolled onto her elbows and looked at him, and Michael’s eyes widened. He hadn’t even realized she was awake, but she’d heard him. He couldn’t read her face and he didn’t want to read her mind without her permission, so he stayed frozen, waiting for her to move again. After a few moments, she smiled sleepily, and nestled into the crook of his arm.

“Does it still count as today? Tell me again tomorrow,” she murmured, closing her eyes and melting against him tiredly.

Michael sighed contentedly and pulled a blanket over them, eagerly awaiting tomorrow. “Okay.”

“And every day after that.”

“Okay,” he laughed, wrapping his arms around her.

*~*

Please comment before reading on to Part 11