A.N. Just a little angst to hold you over till I finish the next long story I’m working on. Something with plot. Can you imagine? This has no plot. Only angst.

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Kaylee slumped half-asleep on the side bed of the Infirmary, Simon resting wearily against her, breathing in rhythm. River was unconscious in the center bed, pale, fevered, and beyond help. Every now and then, her body would tense with seizure or stroke, but there was no point in moving. Simon had reduced the frequency of the attacks, but there was no way for him to stop it. They’d taken too much of her brain. Too much of her life. Despite all his efforts, Simon was watching his sister die. Mal had directed the ship for a hard burn to the nearest hospital, but getting River inside would hardly be easy, nor would explaining her condition. Kaylee felt guilty for not telling Simon at the first sign of trouble, but the sign looked no different than any other day with River. A persistent tremor. That was it. She’d noticed when they were cleaning dishes after dinner, but River didn’t say anything and Kaylee had been anxious to get Simon alone for the evening. Kaylee felt a tear hit her arm and she hugged Simon to her all the tighter. They’d been making love when it happened, and loudly so. If they hadn’t been so loud, maybe they’d have heard her fall off the bed. Had she cried for help? Kaylee kept telling herself she didn’t, just to convince herself there was nothing they could’ve done differently. “We’ll get there,” Kaylee whispered softly. “She’s gonna make it, and you’re gonna think of somethin’ brilliant, and everything will be back the way it was.” “Kaylee, you hated the way it was.” “I never said that.” Not exactly, at least. She’d spoken to Simon about the late night intrusions of River and confessed her jealousy. Simon had promised to make it up to her, and she’d waited and waited to see how, but still there was nothing different. That morning, she’d decided to end it with Simon, but she never got a chance to tell him. “You’ll finally have your wish,” Simon groused bitterly, fueling his anger in attempt to numb his grief. “You’ll finally have me all to yourself.” “Simon, no! Don’t say that.” “She’s going to die, Kaylee!” Kaylee felt the tears in her eyes, but resisted believing Simon’s expert opinion. The image of River, face blue, white foam at the mouth, bleeding from biting her own tongue, looking like she was already dead – Kaylee couldn’t get it out of her mind. Couldn’t, because just seconds before they, Kaylee had been begging Simon to look at her, to follow her, and to let River lie till after breakfast. Her hope in saving their relationship had hinged on Simon not looking in on his sister first thing in the morning. As Simon had slid open the door to his sister’s room, Kaylee had been forming the words to tell him it was over. And then he’d cried out and all her anger morphed into guilt, and all her jealousy into helpless tears. If Simon had listened to her, River would be dead. But River was breathing now. Breathing and alive. How could Simon admit defeat? Kaylee felt the protest and bile rising in her throat. “No, Simon! She’s not gonna –” “When did you get a degree in medicine?” Frustrated, Kaylee tightened one arm around his neck, then covered his mouth with her hand before he could say more hurtful things. “You listen to me, Simon Tam. Don’t you dare think I’m so jealous of your attention that I’d wish this on River. Don’t you dare think such a thing or it’s you who’s dyin’ tonight. Dong ma? You do not give up on your sister. You never have before and I won’t let you now.” The fight melted out of Simon’s bones and Kaylee loosened her grip. She wrapped an arm around his chest, pulling him up until his head rested on her shoulder, and then she kissed his face urgently, over and over until she was sure he felt her love and comfort. “I didn’t want it to end like this.” “Look at her breathin’, Simon. It ain’t over yet.” Simon watched and Kaylee slowly traced the length of his arm with her fingers before clasping his hand in hers. He squeezed her hand and cleared his throat, pushing himself off the bed. “There’s got to be something I haven’t tried yet. There has to be...” Kaylee watched, heartbroken by Simon’s renewed fervor, knowing what came next. Simon surveyed the Infirmary, yanked his hair, but found no answers and finally collapsed in the middle of the floor, head falling on his folded arms and weeping. Kaylee was by his side in a moment, stroking his hair, his back, whispering softly. Just as helpless as she felt fighting off River’s demons, only this monster she could see. And this one, she knew, would kill Simon and River both. Softly, gently, Simon’s sobs subsided and he fell asleep right there on the Infirmary floor, his face buried in Kaylee’s lap. Carefully, she found another pillow for his head and stood up to take River’s hand. River. Her friend, of whom she’d been fiercely jealous but still fiercely loved. “You can’t die River,” Kaylee pleaded, as much for selfish reasons as anything else. If River died, the Simon she knew and loved would be lost. Kaylee would sacrifice all the physical intimacy they’d shared just to keep Simon alive, looking after River, being the good man she knew him to be. Good and proper to a fault. “Oh, River. This can’t be happening.” River’s eyes fluttered open, meeting Kaylee’s, and her sweet voice parted the veil of sorrow with meek strength and sagacity. “Are we such great heroes? Why should we be spared hardship?” Kaylee nearly collapsed, crying on River’s shoulder, feeling her friend reach out a comforting hand. “River, you can’t die,” Kaylee moaned, concerned that this conversation would be their last, and desperate to find the appropriate words. A lofty smile curved River’s lips, as if her lying on the bed was no more than a game. “I’m not dead yet.” River’s eyes fell closed and her hand went lax and Kaylee fell to sobs again, begging River to survive. Begging so much her chest ached, and she couldn’t breathe. She collapsed on the floor next to Simon, so violently that he woke up, and held her while she cried. For a moment their roles were reversed – she was convinced it was over and he was assuring her. He carried her to the side bed again, resuming their posture of waiting, one holding the other. The dance had been going on for hours now. Suffering and comforting in tandem. And as comfort came to her in Simon’s arms and she relished his presence, she looked guiltily at River. She’d never wished this.

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Post- A.N. I didn't mean to do it! But I can't be held responsible for characters who suffer in sequels that YOU requested... River was bound to hit the chopping block sooner or later. Please share your comments.