A fetal monitor was a necessity.

He’d done all that he could using the tools that he had.

But he was a trauma surgeon.

Not an obstetrician!

Granted he’d learned about it.

It was a part of any medical training, but he’d never thought he would deal with it.

He’d been doing a lot of research lately about it.

The constant nausea worried him.

So did the size.

He suspected that one of the side effects of the fertility drug he’d used had come into play.

But he couldn’t be sure.

Not with the equipment he had.

He needed a fetal monitor.

If it was what he thought it was.

If she had more than one baby in there he would need to monitor them and her regularly.

Which meant that simply stopping at a hospital (which Mal wouldn’t agree too anyway) was not a solution.

He needed a fetal monitor.

They didn’t have enough to pay for one.

Not that he would have bought it if they did.

Out here money was a scarce commodity.

One he hesitated to waste on a machine they needed for the one pregnancy.

Best to steal it.

He smiled, who’d have thought that he’d have come to this?

Shrugging he went to find Jayne.

If there was stealing to be done, he was exactly what was needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lemme get this straight, you want me to steal a fatal whatsit for you?”

“Fetal Monitor, as you perfectly well know. I know you aren’t as stupid as you pretend to be. No one can be that stupid. And yes I want you to steal one, but for Zoe not me.”

Jayne grinned; he loved yanking the Doc’s chain “Its best not to go insulting a fellow as you want to do sum’ thin for ya.”

He watched the Doc’s face scrunch up, then stopped him before he could start saying whatever it was he meant to be saying “Don’t get your underwear in a wad Doc, what have ya got in mind?”

As the Doc outlined the plan he smiled, maybe Mal should let the Doc help with the planning. He was real good at it, maybe things ‘uld go the way they were supposed to then.

They borrowed one of Kaylee’s tool boxes, and some’ a her tools.

He planned on let’ in the Doc take the heat if’n she noticed. After the first and last time he’d borrowed sum’ thin of hers without asking he weren’t gonna be the one as suffered fer it. Sides t’was the Doc’s brilliant idea anyway.

Doc spent a lot a’ time forgin’ a work order fer the machine they meant ta steal.

It was decided that he could wear his normal pants; the Doc got him a shirt to wear, and made him shave.

He’d almost backed out then, but what was a little facial hair tween friends? Doc said he needed this fer Zoe. And if’n he had to shave his manparts ta do this fer her he would.

It smarted is all lookin in the mirror and not seeing his normal rugged manliness.

Doc made him practice his damn lines over and over again, the stupid hun dan.

And where’d he learn all that techie mumbo jumbo anyways?

When they stopped on Greenleaf for supplies he told Mal he was gonna be at the bar and waited fer him to leave.

Then he headed fer the hospital the Doc had picked as the Mark.

Plan worked perfectly.

A‘course it did, he reminded himself that Mal’d had nothin’ ta do with it.

He’d walked right in, and went to the Coordinator’s office.

They hadn’t received notification of his visit so he was made to wait.

Which is what was supposed ta happen.

While he waited he annoyed the secretary (and if’n thet woman wasn’t the man’s doxy he was gonna go sly) enough that she’d finally sent him up jus’ ta get rid a’ him.

Which was exactly accordin’ to the plan.

Once there he’d “checked” a few of the machines, til he got to the one he wanted.

The Doc’d gave him a picture of it, it was mixed in with the other papers in “his” toolbox.

Once he found it, he’d raised a stink about how unsafe it was.

Made sure to get good and loud about.

How t’was likely to trip the breaker, cause a blackout.

How maybe it could cause some sparking and start a fire.

They tried ta stop him from takin’ it.

But the hue and cry raised by all the pregnant women, and the ones as had already popped stopped them right quick.

No law on his heels.

No report a theft.

No shootin’ (though that kinda took the fun outa thievin’, a’ course if that meant he didn’t get shot he could deal with it)

Mal’d raised his eyebrows when Jayne’d come back with the machine tucked under his arm.

But after checkin’ the cortex for bulletins and seeing nothing he’d not said a thing.

The best part a the while thing was how all the women folk were happy with him.

Doc’d told them as how he’d offered to help the Doc out when he’d told Jayne about his quandary.

He wasn’t sure if they all believed it.

Mal didn’t.

But Zoe and Kaylee’d made a point of thanking him.

And nothing was said about the borrowed tools.

Moonbrain’d just smiled at him and thanked him fer the sacrifice of his hair.

Even ‘Nara’d said thanks.

The most surprisin’ thing of all was that she’d meant it.

It was a good haul.

He didn’t make anything he could spend, but seemed like he got more out of it than he thought he would going in.