A.N. Based on the Christine Lavin song "Regretting What I Said..." which is even more hilarious than this filk and I recommend you find and listen to it if you don't know it already. As for this, think sweet melody and folk guitar. The italicized bit is spoken by Inara pre-music.

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This song is titled: "Regretting what I said when you barged into my shuttle at 2AM to tell me that come sunrise you were going to leave your bunk, go downstairs, take the hover mule, drive into town, and shoot my most recent client in the head, not that I wouldn've stopped you, you wouldn't make it past security anyway, I already black marked the man, I can't expect you to understand civilized justice, but I don't need you defending my honor and if you're really so protective, DON'T call me whore!!!"

And it's subtitled "A Musical Apology."

In this song, I attempt to take back most of what I shouted at your back from the top of the catwalk.

I didn't mean it when I said, 'I hope

The support beams on the upper catwalk snap

And you crash to the floor.'

And I was joking when I said,

'I hope you crack your head

And get mangled by the cargo-bay door.'

And I was kidding when I said, 'I hope

A transport ship flying far to low

Hits and makes a pancake out of you.'

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry...

Isn't it amazing what a woman like me will do?

And I really don't want to see your mule on the 59th Steet Bridge

Flip over

And crash through the rail.

And I'd feel bad if when you reached town you were

Mistaken for a local sex offender,

Arrested, beaten up, and thrown in jail.

And I really don't want to see you getting radiation poisoning

From the metal detector that all visitors

And staff at this client's house must walk through.

I'm sorry...

Forgive me...

For all the mean things I said to you.

You thought I'd stopped taking clients.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!

But I really don't want to see you

Take a fatal chest wound from my client's bodyguard

When a simple little grazing would suffice,

Would suffice.

And I'm sorry that I said 'I hope

Serenity gets land-locked, seized, auctioned,

And sold off for scrap.'

And I'm sorry that I said,

'I hope the airlock fails

And you're sucked into the Black.'

And I'm sorry for all the critical things

I said about Serenity

Even though we both know they're true.

I'm sorry...

Forgive me...

I'm swallowing my pride,

I'd feel so guilty if you died!

Oh, I'm sorry,

But I'm still mad at you.