River sat in the hover, the wind blowing her hair around her face, and felt happy. She could concentrate on just that, and everything else muted into the background. She could tell what they were thinking about, though, their thoughts washing over her like the breeze.

Inara wants to talk. That’s good. Or is it bad? Maybe she’s going to say she’s leaving again. But she kissed me. That’s good. Come on, Malcolm. You gotta keep your mind on the job.

I don’t want to die. Maybe I did, but … Wash would never forgive me if I did. I wanted his children, but that’s not going to happen now. I wish … I wish …

Moonbrain’s close again. Not sure about this. Damn, the grenades is rubbing. Gonna have to do something about that. But ain’t leavin’ ‘em behind no more, don’t care what the Cap says. Be crazy to. Crazy like that girl there. She’s got her eyes closed. Wonder what she’s thinking about?

She opened her eyes and looked at him, then smiled. He flinched slightly.

Maybe we should have that tea when I get back. We’ll have coin. Maybe I should take her out somewhere. Someplace nice. Someplace … away.

I wish I could talk to the Shepherd. He’d know what to say. Not that he could make me feel better, but … it hurts still. What’ll I do when it stops?

She’s pretty, I’ll give ya that. If’n she tied that hair back. Falling in her face all the time. Like she’s not letting anyone see her. Not that … hell, I need some trim. Maybe call in at old Olive’s place if I can get the Cap to stop by. Been a month o’ Sundays since my John Thomas did more’n get lively in my pants …

And further away, back in Serenity, there were other thoughts, other wishes and fears.

I love him. I want to tell him, so badly, that I love him. Why can’t I? Why can’t I just say the words? I see it in him, I see the desire plain as if he were speaking, but he doesn’t … We’ve danced around each other for so long, I don’t know if we can change the steps.

He’s so suai. Every time he touches me, I go kinda weak. Even just standing there, staring at that regulator as if it’s gonna jump up and bite him, he makes me wanna just hug him. Does he feel the same? I ain't sure.

She’s watching me again. I can feel her eyes on me, and it’s … how could I ever want to be back in that hospital, dealing with all those sick people, when I can be out here, with her?

She shook her head. He was such a boob.

I've seen him happy and sad, in pain and in pleasure. But I want it to be our pleasure. If I told him, would he listen? Do I have to spell it out to him? Can’t he be intelligent for once?

So much I wanna say. Ain't said I love him, but it’s been close a coupla times. When he’s made me come, touched me ‘til I fall screaming from the sky to burst on the ground, that’s when I wanna tell him, but I can’t. What if he don’t feel the same?

I love her. I have to tell her. I have to say the words, not just in my actions, but by actually opening my mouth and speaking. River will understand. She’s so much better, and I’ll still be here. But I have to tell her. Soon.

The hover was slowing, the crop of buildings coming up fast.

Gotta concentrate, Malcolm. Ain't the time to be thinking on how she looked in that gown.

I don’t want to die. I want to live.

Guns, grenades, knife. Yeah, guess I'm ready.

Let him come back safely to me.

Touch me again.

I love you.

“Time,” Mal said.