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CHAPTER 3

Jayne woke up feeling completely exhausted, but too famished to sleep a moment longer. Kaylee was curled around his head, breathing softly, offering warmth and comfort even in her sleep. Stretching his sore muscles, Jayne sat up on the lopsided bed frame, carefully arranging Kaylee on the mattress before covering her with a blanket and leaving her to sleep. It felt, for the moment, that he was leaving his grief lying in the bed next to Kaylee, but her heart and cheer seemed capable of standing against that monster – at least long enough for him to get some chow. When he climbed out of the bunk, he could smell someone already up and cooking. He briefly wished it was Book there, preparing a meal, ready with words of wisdom and comfort. But Book had left the ship a few weeks ago, and he had no sounding board for his grief. He stumbled into the galley, rubbing his eyes, nearly tripping over his own feet when he saw their new passenger behind the stove. He shook his head in amazement, wondering that he hardly recognized her aside from the striking similarity to her mother. “Hey, girl, whatcha doin’?” he asked, more curious if she was going to share than anything else. “Good morning, Mr. Cobb,” she replied coldly, but handed him a plate anyway. Some form of scrambled eggs and grits, though the color was off because she was using protein supplements. “Just making myself useful.” “You don’t have to call me that.” “I know,” she smirked, snidely. “How’d you get the money?” Jayne asked, sitting at the table shoveling the food into his mouth. “What money?” “The money to get to Persephone? Where’d you get it?” “You don’t think we survived all this time on that pittance you’ve been sending do you?” Jayne felt the sting of the insult, and stopped chewing only briefly. “Girl, if you don’t want my charity, why are you here?” She closed her eyes, seething. “Can’t you even speak my name?!” “Fine! Mattie! Ya happy now?” Jayne bellowed, standing up so quickly his chair tipped over. “Oh, yeah, Cobb. That makes everything better,” she snapped. Quickly, she prepared a plate for herself, and stalked back to the passenger dorms before anyone else woke up. Jayne righted his chair and started eating again.

*~*

Inara lay awake on the couch, her body soothed by Simon’s medicine. He’d carefully sealed the gash on her forehead so that it wouldn’t scar, and left her with a few icepacks for her eye. It still ached every time she blinked, but the swelling had gone down enough that it was hardly noticeable with the right make-up. She gazed forlornly at the exposed metal walls. Her client – attacker – had done the work of taking the tapestries down for her, though not in the manner she had hoped. It seemed she’d be leaving Serenity with a few less personal items than she originally intended, but she tried to dismiss it as some divine force making her leave this life behind. She closed her eyes, pretending to sleep, as the shuttle door slid open. She expected Simon, but was greeted by the familiar, heavy gait of Mal. “Wo de ma,” he whispered, and she tried not to cringe. He would have found out sooner or later, but she’d hoped it would be later. Long after she’d left. He always criticized her work, and she would not tolerate that gloating smirk in his eyes as he said ‘I told you so.’ She could smell him as he knelt beside her, casting a shadow across her closed lids. “‘Nara,” he whispered. His hand was by her face, catching her tears, but she could not feel him. She pressed her eyes tightly, squeezing out the tears, damning her pride, and wanting to fall into his arms just this once. She reached out to touch him, but he wasn’t there. Startled, her eyes shot open and she nearly fell off the couch for reaching. Mal wasn’t there… A dream. The shuttle was empty. “‘Nara?” Kaylee’s voice floated through the shuttle door, accompanied by a soft knock. Blinking away the dream, Inara ran quickly to the mirror, powdering quickly over her bruises, then adding a veil for the sake of her own sanity. The make-up stung in her still-fresh cuts. By the time she made it to the door, Kaylee had stopped knocking, and when she looked out the hatch, she could see the mechanic walking sadly away. Inara checked herself again, tying her robe shut, and slid open the door. “Kaylee?” The girl turned, offering a cheerful smile, a plate of breakfast-looking food in her hand. Inara involuntarily touched her empty stomach and felt her mouth water. “Hey, ‘Nara. Didn’t mean to interrupt your prayin’.” “Oh, you –” Inara broke off, realizing she had almost invited Kaylee into the wrecked shuttle. “Is that for me?” Kaylee approached again, offering the tray that was in her hands. “Thought you might like some breakfast. You okay?” “This last client,” Inara chuckled dismissively. “He was a bit more than I expected.” “Oh,” Kaylee nodded, believing the lie that Inara had implied. Inara looked guiltily at the plate of food Kaylee had given her, wondering if her young friend could handle the truth. Wondering if she was ready to tell it. Kaylee must have sensed her discomfort, because she pointed vaguely over her shoulder. “I have to get back…” “Oh, of course.” “Enjoy your breakfast.” “Right,” Inara said, disappointment sweeping over her. The moment had passed and now she was left again to face this alone. “Kaylee?” Kaylee turned, all ears. Inara hesitated, looking back into her shuttle, her resolve crumbling at the sight of it. Finally she said, “Come back later?” Kaylee smiled broadly, radiating comfort and hope. “Sure.”

*~*

Mattie’s words cut like a knife, but Jayne refused to force them from his mind. He let them play like a broken record in his head, interrupted only occasionally by Mal’s icy ultimatum, ‘you’re getting off at the next stop.’ He could blame those two for his pain. He could let them fuel his anger. As long as they were at the front of his mind, he wouldn’t think about… Jayne tipped his dislocated bed frame, gathering the clothing pinned underneath and stuffing it in a duffle. He kicked the head of his decapitated turtle across the room, then kicked his fallen chair. Then he righted the chair, pounded his head once against the wall, and found a new trunk to start stuffing things into. He ignored the clink of boot steps coming down the ladder, expecting Kaylee to come try and cheer him up again. Jayne kept his back turned, not sure he could take any amount of cheering, so he was surprised to hear Mal speak. “You’re packing?” Gorram hun dan sounded surprised! Jayne angrily gathered his mismatched socks into one pile. “You told me to.” “That was before I know about your Momma. Which, by the way, is somethin’ you shoulda told me.” Jayne growled at Mal’s mention of his mother, treating it like casual business. He closed the wound, numbing it with the firm reprimand Mal had given the night before. “Does it make a difference? You don’t need a loose cannon on this job and I can’t spend coin if I’m dead.” “Everyone sits out one job or another.” “I ain’t everyone.” Jayne stopped his prowl about the room, picking up the body of the turtle and gathering the stuffing from the floor, trying to repair the poor critter. His fingers brushed over the singed bit on its foot sewn over with black thread. “If you wanna leave, fine. But if it makes a difference, I ain’t tellin’ you to go anymore.” Jayne nodded slowly, mad that Mal was taking away one of the things he was trying to be angry about. Without good anger, he’d just have to go and press weights till his muscles gave out and find some way to wear himself senseless. Mal was waiting, giving a little consideration on account of his mother, so Jayne afforded his mother a brief thought as well, and fought to control his voice. “Can we stop by Greenleaf at some point … I just wanna see her.” “I’ll tell Wash to work it in,” Mal assured, turning to climb out. “Before the next job.” Jayne sighed in exhaustion and surveyed his half-packed room, disheveled as it was, suddenly wanting a nap. Would Mal treat him like an invalid now? Make him sit out the job? He needed to pull himself together. “Can you help me get this bed back on the wall?” “You yanked it off. You fix it or it comes out of your cut.” Jayne chuckled lightly as Mal disappeared through the hatch. Nope. Things were just the same.

*~*

River leaned on the railing over the catwalk, one heel balanced on the ledge, in a position she’d seen Mal adopt a hundred times over. She laughed mischievously, knowing the posture would baffle Simon when he came up the stairs. Then she sighed, grateful that she was feeling well enough to ruffle her brother with this joke. Kaylee brushed past her on the way to the engine room, playfully trying to bump her off balance and River bumped back, a smile curling on her lips. Inara was hurting, but Simon knew, so River didn’t worry. Kaylee might know soon, too, if Inara’s courage held out. The new passenger stepped into the cargo bay and started adjusting the weights on Jayne’s bench press. River had done that once and Jayne was furious with her. But then, River had hidden the weights in various places around the ship and set up a scavenger hunt, and half of the twenty-pounds had been inadvertently jettisoned with the garbage because Jayne had taken too long in finding them. River had since learned not to hide things in places where they were easily spaced, although it was on occasion hilarious. The new passenger didn’t seem intent on setting up such a game. Jayne had called her Mattie, but only in saying she was the one who made the breakfast. Otherwise, he’d been very tight-lipped about her. Even in his head. Mattie was pressing weights furiously and River had to wonder at the anger bleeding out of her. River almost didn’t notice Simon tripping over his feet when he came up the stairs. “River?” her brother asked tentatively, his eyes clouded with concern. “Are you okay?” “Why would you ask that?” she teased, swinging her head in the most Mal-like fashion she could and adopting his accent. “It’s just…” Simon stammered to a halt, unable to justify his concern. “Would you rather I lay on the floor?” Simon’s mouth flapped a little more, one finger itching his ear, flummoxed. Something as simple as posture and it had him confounded. River sprang toward him, lightly kissing him on the cheek, before skipping off to the engine room to follow Kaylee. She looked back in time to see Simon disappear into Inara’s shuttle, still scratching his head. Some days, it was just too easy.

*~*

Jayne found Mattie pressing weights, doused with sweat, face red. She gasped with every press, heaving the bar overhead and shaking as she lowered it. Wordlessly, he came up behind the bench, spotting her more out of habit than anything else, wishing like hell she’d get off and let him do a few reps. His anger burned at the thought of all those hard-earned credits he’d sent home and Mattie’s insinuation that it wasn’t enough. Why had his mother said nothing? Mattie’s elbow buckled and Jayne caught the bar easily before it fell on her. She didn’t even offer a thank you. Just hauled herself up on the straps Jayne used for chin-ups, threaded her spindly legs through, and started doing inverted crunches. Knowing she could just hang if her body failed her, Jayne started adding weight to the bar for himself. “You care if I tell them who you are?” he asked, not meeting her eye. “Can you trust them?” “Every day, with my life.” Mattie stopped crunching and hung upside down, her hands crossed on opposite shoulders. It was a strange way to meet someone’s eye, but then their relationship had never been normal. “They’re like family to you, then?” “Girl, I got no family,” Jayne said darkly, starting his first set with more weight than he should, hoping the anguish would sweat out through his pores. Mattie’s voice fell on him like a chilling apparition. “Then what am I?”

*~*

Wash loved when Zoë leaned against him as he worked, and loved even more when she didn’t back away as soon as Mal entered the room. Mattie’s breakfast had put everyone in a fine mood, and it was all Wash could do not to lock the door to the cockpit and make love to his wife right then and there. She leaned against the back of his chair, one finger teasing the hairs on the back of his neck, breathing hotly in his ear. And when Mal entered, she snaked an arm possessively around his neck, letting Mal know he’d have to fight for either of their attentions. “Any word from Boros?” Mal asked, ignoring their rapture with each other. “No,” Wash answered, keeping one hand on Zoë, while the other checked the board. “Are you expecting word?” “Just the usual ‘plan’s gone south’ wave. This is Mingo and Fanty.” “Their jobs usually go south after we’re in,” Zoë commented, omitting the usual ‘sir’ she placed at the end of every sentence directed toward Mal. Wash could tell she wanted Mal to leave soon, but the Captain wasn’t taking that hint. “Right.” “Can’t we work for someone more stable?” Wash complained. “We work for them that pay us. They got another job waitin’ soon as this one’s done. Let’s not make them wait so long they find someone else.” “I’m going as fast as Kaylee lets me. Can’t complain if work comes faster.” “Speaking of, sir, our new passenger is keepin’ herself all manner of busy today.” Zoë straightened as she spoke, and Wash was more than a little disappointed. “That was a fine meal she made. Almost as good as the Captain’s wife,” Wash carped bitterly. “Not what I mean,” Zoë replied, her tone becoming more businesslike, but she placed a hand on Wash’s shoulder to let him know she heard his disappointment. “I’ve seen her just about every place bridge to bay, screwing in light bulbs and scrubbing old stains.” “So she’s OCD, so what? This ship could use a detailing.” “You calling my boat a dump?” Mal challenged. “Well…” Wash trailed off, feeling trapped. “Of course not, sir. Did Jayne say how he knew her?” “No, but she’s definitely a Cobb. You see it in her eyes.” “I don’t trust her, sir.” “I was sleepin’ with one eye open, myself.”

*~*

Mal had noticed Mattie puttering about his boat, but hadn’t been concerned about it until Zoë brought it up, and now it irked him. Normally, he’d ignore any paying passenger not causing a fuss, but that policy had worked against him a few too many times, and next meal, he planned to remind her the boundaries of where she was permitted. Next meal. Two hours from now. Time enough to get in a load of laundry. Mal shouldered his laundry bag and made his way to the machine on the lower level. Between energy and water concerns, he generally held off on the luxury, but the month had passed and his clothes had been worn enough to develop the kind of odor that made Inara’s nose turn. And if there was one thing he wouldn’t abide, it was Inara turning her nose at him. What would he do when she left? As he came down the hall, he heard the familiar chink of tools against water pipes and groaned that Kaylee was fixing the machine again. Damn thing had been leaking something fierce a few weeks ago and Kaylee had only managed a temporary fix. Maybe she was almost done. He wasn’t at all pleased to see Mattie propped up on her elbows, half-buried behind the machine that had been pulled a good two feet from the wall it was supposed to be attached to. “Ma’am, I’d sure like to know what you’re doin’,” Mal opened, a mild threat underlying his tone. Mattie spared him a glance, brushing lint and raven-black hair from her face. “Making myself useful.” “No need for that since you’re already paying fare.” The girl nodded, blue eyes adopting that same superior look he’d wanted to knock off Simon’s face on more than one occasion. If she was a Cobb, she couldn’t be that close to Jayne. She was far too refined. Mattie seemed nonplussed by his threats, answering coolly, “Once I fix this, your water usage will be fifteen percent more efficient. Besides, I don’t know if I can sit here for a week and not work. If it troubles you, I can deduct the labor from my fare.” “I didn’t say that. Just seems you’re troublin’ yourself to fix things in areas you oughtn’t be.” “I shouldn’t be near the laundry?” There was Jayne’s gullible misunderstanding. “You shouldn’t be behind the washer. Stick to the passenger dorms and the dining area.” “But the free weights are in the cargo bay.” And Jayne’s single-mindedness. “Passenger dorms and dining area,” Mal said firmly. “Anywhere else, get an escort. And no more fixin’ things on the ship, ‘less you talk to me or Kaylee.” “Yes, sir. Should I finish this?” “I’d appreciate it,” Mal answered tersely, shifting his laundry bag and heading upstairs. Sir? She’d ‘sir’ed him. For some reason, that didn’t sound settling coming from anyone but Zoë. For some reason, it also made him feel he’d wrongly chastised her for trying to be helpful. Strange, confounding girl.

*~*

* * Chapter 4