Swollen

The title and lyrics are from a song by Bent, featuring vocalist Zoe Johnston, and remixed by Dusted.

The story was something that came to me while listening to the song, and I couldn't get it out of my head.

Regarding Firefly, all characters owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, yadda yadda yadda.

With you my darling More peaceful inside Don't need anything else to make me feel alive And you electrify me And I want to be in your arms for always for always

She kept hearing the music, the tune that wouldn't leave her head. The rising of the strings, melodic words that didn't belong to her, but that fit nevertheless. She wondered if this was what going mad felt like.

She was aware of her body, legs entwined with his, her torso pressed up to him, arms gripping his chest and around his neck. One strong arm held her close to him. She felt his t-shirt, damp against her cheek. He was too warm. But her own blood felt like ice in her veins.

Her limbs were heavy, she wondered if it was her boots that weighted her to the earth. She was lying across him, she saw legs, feet, someone running towards them. She tried to hang on, gripped him tighter. But the black came, and they stole Christmas.

Earlier…

With you my darling More peaceful inside Don't need anything else to make me feel alive And you electrify me And I want to be in your arms for always for always

He had rented a small room for a few days they were on the planet. They hardly left it. They were full of each other, overflowing with the sensations of being in love. One look, a gesture, and the world seemed to fall away. An accidental (or deliberate) touch, connected them to one another all over. They made love through the day; they lay in the bed together, talking about everything and anything that occurred to them. They laughed. She was happy, he loved her, she knew, she loved him too. Nothing like this had happened to either of them before. They were due, she thought. They somehow knew they were living on stolen time. It didn't matter. They showered together, water flowing over tight skin. Warm. Real.

Our love is swollen Made up of the quietest shade of loud Holds me like an anchor Floats just like a cloud A cloud

It was late in the afternoon. He had already put on his pants and boots, but his chest was wonderfully naked. He found his t-shirt, pulled it over his head, his hair still damp from the shower, messy. She drank in the sight of him. She didn't want to go out. Felt anxious about it. She pouted in the bed she had jumped back into. He grinned at her obvious attempt at seducing him but he was famished; needed to get out for a spell. He lent in, his kiss promising her he wasn't immune to her charms. He smelled clean, but still like him; warm, a little musky. He had put on that scent, the one that smelled like cloves. She breathed him in deeply, her hands tracing memories on his body. Later. He told her to get dressed, he wanted to show her this world.

Our love…

He held her hand through the marketplace, or put his arm possessively around her waist, keeping her close. He found a street vendor selling some sorta roasted meat on a stick, bought some for himself, and ate it quickly. Not her thing. He found her a fruit stand; skewers of pineapple and strawberries. She felt the sweet sticky juice on her lips, running down her throat.

… is swollen

He kissed her then, tasting the sweetness on her lips, in her mouth. God, she could almost not bear to be so happy. It hurt, an ache of pleasure that brought tears to her eyes. They shone when she looked up at him.

Holds me like an anchor

His eyes were soft and dark with passion. Until those eyes saw something, and his expression hardened. She felt it, the wrongness. Behind her. They had to leave, danger to them, danger to the crew. He took her hand, they tried to slip through the crowded market unnoticed. They were spotted. He started to run, pulling her behind him. The people, colours, they all blurred together as she ran with him, keeping his pace, knowing that they were running for their lives. A turn, another, around this corner, down these stairs. Trying to lose their pursuers. Then time slowed. They were there. In front of them. Nowhere to run.

Our love is swollen Made up of the quietest shade of loud

Her brain screamed at her to move, get them out of there. They were in an alleyway, two men in front of them. At least two were closing behind them. Her analytical mind took over. That doorway, next to him. It was the back entrance to a café. Looked flimsy, like plywood. Probably unbolted. There were crates outside that door, cigarillo ashes. Staff came out here on breaks. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the weapons. Heard the shots. Pushed him at the door. Heard a scream, realized it was her.

Holds me like an anchor Floats just like a cloud A cloud

There was pain, searing through her side. The door cracked away from its hinges as they tumbled through it, into the cafe's kitchen. He righted himself first and got up running, gripping her hand, pulling her along now. Through the crowded café, out the front, back into the market. He was pulling left; she jerked him to the right. He saw what had grabbed her attention: a mule. Not fast, but faster than their feet.

Our love

He drove, she held on. She felt the blood running from her side. The pain wasn't what she thought it would be. She felt light. She looked at the sky. Blue, as blue as his eyes. Clouds, puffy and white. Over there on the horizon, they were darker, ominous. But tinged with gold and pink. Sunset, she thought. The end of daylight.

Our love

She looked over at him, realizing for the first time he was hit too. Shoulder and stomach. Damn. He was holding onto consciousness by a thread. He shook with the effort.

Our love

Their pursuers seemed not to be there anymore. He still drove like a man possessed.

Is swollen

Serenity was in view now, she reached over and put her hand on his strong thigh. Squeezed it gently. He looked over to her, his eyes full of concern for her, panic almost.

Our love

She needed to stay awake, stay focused, get on board. The doctor would look after them both.

Our love

Somehow they got up together, one holding the other when they stumbled. Boarded Serenity

Holds me … like a cloud

They collapsed together on the grated floor of the cargo hold. He rolled onto his back, holding her close. So much blood, she thought. From both of them, intermingled. Their legs tangled together, she would never let him go. She could see the crew, running towards them. Couldn't hear them. Just the song in her head.

Holds me still