A/N: Kudos to my beta badkarma00. Thanks for all the help!

Things had been going so well, Mal thought, and now we're having another gorram fight. It had started innocently enough. He had come to ask her not to leave, tell her he didn't want her to... and why. But, like always, he fumbled over his words. She jabbed he jabbed back, and then pretty soon they were yelling. “Look, I don’t see what the prob-” she started, but he didn’t let her finish. “I just don’t get why you gotta go back to train the next generation of whores at that house!” he yelled. The second the words were out of his mouth, he wished, as he had many times in the past, as well as many times already in this conversation, that he could start this over. Her jaw dropped open as she immediately turned away, but not before he saw her eyes welling with tears. He watched in anguish as her shoulders heaved slightly with silent sobs. “Inara, I didn’t mean-” he started, this time he got interrupted. “Mal, please, just go,” she pleaded, her voice shaking. God, he hated to see her like this… he also knew he couldn’t leave it at this. He knew if he did, she would leave, and he would never see her again, and he couldn’t live with that. He walked over to her slowly, gently grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face him as he gathered her into his arms, finally acknowledging why it tore his shredded soul so much when he saw her cry like this, him usually being the cause. “Inara, come here,” he said. She resisted for a moment and he thought he had already blown his last chance to tell her how he felt. He gave a silent sigh of relief when she relented and sank into his embrace. “Inara, I’m sorry I said that the way I did, but I meant the implied statement. I… the last time you left, I could never stop myself from replaying that scene, and what led up to it, in my mind. Knowing there was somthin’ I should’a done different, but not knowing what it was. Then I realized what caused it… walls.” She had remained silent with her head resting on his chest, but now she looked up at him, puzzled. “I had built walls,” he continued, “after the war, to keep from getting hurt like that again.” Her eyes, which had dried slowly as she listened, began welling up again, but with sympathy instead of grief this time. “I lost too many friends… too many loved ones, I couldn’ think about that happening to me again… so I made walls and I retreated inside. Until I started to feel my emotional walls crumblin’, being attacked from the inside and the out. I tried to… I guess you could say “repair” them, then realized the reason why, and I stopped trying. So I let it happen. It damn near overwhelmed me, after them walls been up so long… so I hid. I hid behind mock indifference. Indifference to you, to my feelings for you, indifference to my grief at what the nature of your job meant to… us. If there was going to be and “us”… WHEN there was an “us.” As he spoke, her eyes, tears openly flowing, never left his even though he seemed to be looking at a point just beyond her. His eyes focused on something she could not see. “Through that whole thing with Wing, no matter what I told you, I did it because I already knew how I felt. I decked him because I reacted on impulse, not only because of a sense of honor I still have, but also because I wasn’t about to let that gorram self-righteous, ‘I-deserve-what-I-got-cause-I’m-rich-and-don’t-have to-work’ to talk about you like you were some kind of gorram trophy he had just won at the local auction. That’s also why I had to go through with the dual. I wasn’t going to let him think me coward, and keep treating you the way he was… no man has that right… ever.” He focused on her again, “You’ll never know how much it broke me and tormented me, as you walked away, I had lost my one true chance at pure happiness,” his voice wavered, “pure contentment with where my life had brought me.” His voice cracked at this point. Inara, shocked at how he was opening up to her, finally wrapped her arms around him while still looking into his eyes. No one else mattered, nothing else mattered, it was just the two of them, alone in the Black. She silently willed some of her strength into him, to support him as he did this. He was shaking slightly as he continued, the emotion was so intense. “I couldn’ even bring myself to order Serenity’s launch. Zoë noticed and realized why, she knew I’d’a never be able to give that command. So she took charge, ordered the crew to get them underway. She and Kaylee were the only ones who saw my silent cryin’. Saw the tortured expressions on my face. They had known how I felt about you for a long time; they knew how much leaving you there pained me.” He paused as he took a shuddering breath. She watched tears slide down his face as they continued to stream down hers. She was amazed at how fast he had shed his barriers, as well as how much raw emotion he was showing, all because of her. “Inara, I…” he stuttered, hesitant for fear of what her reaction might be, he looked down, composed himself, “I love you.” He looked up as he said it, saw complete shock on her face, and felt his heart sink. No, he thought, there is no way she doesn’t… Seeing the hopeful look on Mal’s face as he said that suddenly drop to complete sorrow even as he did his best to stay composed, tore at her heart. “I’ve made you uncomfortable,” he said disentangling himself from her, “I’ll just…” he said as he started to walk away. Before he could even turn all the way away from her, she spun him around, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Shocked, Mal didn’t do anything for a second, then wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss. When they finally came up for air, panting, Mal said “What… what was that for?” “Do you really have to ask?” she replied. “No, but I would like to hear the reason anyways,” he said with a smirk. She shot him and aggravated look that she could not keep composed, she grinned as she said, “I love you too, Mal,” and kissed him again, her heart soaring as the dark cloud that she had sensed around him for so long dissipated as she said those words. He picked her up with a gentleness that surprised her, and carried her to where she had known the conversation they had would lead them. *************** Later that night, after they were spent, Mal asleep, she awake, spooned against him, thinking, I had a lot of choices… I chose the perfect one, and she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. *************** She awoke to rustling clothes and muttered curses. Instantly awake, she saw Mal quietly getting dressed even though there was something obviously very wrong. “Mal, what’s wrong?” she asked He jumped slightly as he turned to face her, a loving smile coming to his face even though he was obviously scared to death. “Nothin’,” he replied, “just got captain-y things to do-” “Mal,” she said, glaring at him, “don’t play with me. What’s wrong?” her tone making it clear he was humped if he lied or dodged the question. “Simon and Kaylee,” he said quietly, “the liner they was coming back to us from their honeymoon on, it was... was…” he broke down at this point, collapsing to the ground. Rocked with massive sobs he couldn’t contain. Inara froze for a moment, so startled by his massive display of emotion that it took her a second to come to her senses and rush to his side. She held him and comforted him, and slowly the sobs eased. She waited, knowing he would tell her in his own time. “It was attacked,” he took a deep breath, and she unconsciously braced herself, “It was attacked by Reavers,” he finished. She gasped in shock, “No…” suddenly she was the one who was sobbing, shaking uncontrollably, and Mal instantly switched roles, from comforted to comforter. The audible sobbing stopped as did most of the shakes, although she still shook from silent sobs. Finally, she looked into his eyes and saw he was holding something from her. “Mal, what aren’t you telling me?” she asked. That obviously caught him off guard, “What ‘r you-“ “Mal,” she said forcefully, interrupting him, “don’t even-“ “They hid,” he said, “Kaylee listened to all I’ve ever said about what to do in that kind of situation, she knew what she and Simon had to do, and quickly. They was movin’ to deeper cover. Simon, being the chivalrous gentleman he is, opened a door to see if it was safe. They didn’t know that that the Reavers’ weapons did as much damage as they had. Soon as Simon opened the door, most’a the roof lost its support and buried him. Out cold before he knew what hit him.” “How do you know all of this?” she didn’t want to ask, but she had to know. “Simon,” he said quietly, “lyin’ in the infirmary.” She could literally feel the pain and sorrow radiating off him, but that meant… “No,” she gasped, “They couldn’t have-“ “They did,” he said softly, “They took her.” She was starting to sway. Mal might have been distracted, but he moved instinctively, and caught her. Gently he picked her up and carried her to her bed and laid her down. “Don’t worry bao bei, we’ll get her back.” He promised, kissing her on the forehead gently. “First Firefly in history to sport ship to ship weaponry,” he said with a sneer as he quietly walked out of Inara’s shuttle and headed towards the bridge to get in touch with his contacts. *************** A few hours later…

One problem taken care of, Mal thought, trying to stretch after spending far too much time in the pilot’s chair. Now all we have to do is send the wave to all… “Need to do it soon, Captain Daddy,” he heard behind him. Turning, he saw River standing there with the glazed, unfocused look he had come to call her ‘I see something we need to fix NOW’ look. Yes, we do,” she replied to his unspoken thought, “She hasn’t broken, but she will.” “Don’t worry ‘lil Albatross, that ain’t gonna happen.” He replied, knowing exactly who she was talking about. “Inara needs you, nightmares about-“ “Don’t,” he interrupted, “I’m heading there now.” “I understand,” she said. She then walked off to her and Jayne’s bunk. That still sounds so weird to me, he thought. Then remembering what she’d said about Inara, he spun and ran to her shuttle. He slipped through the door quietly, slipping off his boots and laid down to wrap his arms around her. She relaxed somewhat, but was still twitching. He knew by the disgusted, terrified look on her face what was occurring in that dream. He gently shook her awake. She jolted awake, terror on her face as she struggled to get free. “It’s OK, bao bei,” he said, gently but firmly kissing her, “It’s me.” Her eyes immediately locked with his and instantly fell into his embrace. “Oh God, Mal,” she said, sobbing into his chest, “It seemed so real…” He knew he should just hold her until this subsided, but he broke the rules. He took her chin to where she could look in his eyes as he said “’Nara, bao bei, ai ren,” her eyes widened slightly at those words. “I ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to you, you hear me? Nothin’ is gonna happen to you while I’m around, and I plan to be here a good long while.” She smiled at that, kissed him gently, then snuggled against him. Secure in the fact that she was safe, that she was genuinely loved, she fell asleep. She didn’t dream again. Mal smiled as he felt her breathing deepen, and her heartbeat return to normal. I can’t leave her now, he thought. Luckily he remembered that Inara kept a comm nearby. He looked around, saw it a foot-and-a-half away… on the other side of Inara. Go se, he thought, then remembered he kept one with him at all times. Pulling it out, he quietly called Zoë on the bridge. “Zoë, you there?” he whispered. “Yes, sir, what do-” she started. “Shhh, quietly Zoë, “Nara’s asleep,” he interrupted. “Sorry sir, what do you need?” she said quietly. “We need to find somewhere we can buy and install weapons on Serenity.” He could hear her grin when she said, “Understood sir, I’ll get right on it.” Shutting off his comm, he put it away. Then relaxed and slowly fell asleep, content that when he woke, she’d still be there. *************** As Inara woke, her eyes still closed, she felt sheltered, perfectly safe, engulfed in a warm embrace. For a second, she couldn’t remember how. When her mind clicked, she could fell a smile coming to her face; she snuggled as close to Mal as she could get. “Hey there, darlin’,” she heard him say into her hair. She looked up at him, a huge smile coming to her face. It got only bigger when she saw him blush. “Morning, bao bei,” she replied, kissing him gently. She laughed lightly at his wide-eyed blush. Her laugh changed to a strangled sob as the news from last night speared through her in an instant. “Oh no…” she sobbed, breaking down again. Mal pulled her tighter to him, anchoring her through this. Trying not to break down as well. “It’s going to be OK, bao bei,” he said. “We’re gonna get her back.” “How?” she replied, “How are we going to find which ship? How will we find her before they...? Before she…?” “Shhh, Inara, it will be OK I promise you. Zoë’s getting a hold of our contacts. We are gonna get weapons for Serenity.” “We’re taking the fight to the Reavers”

A/N: I know that some of you may think Mal wouldn't break down like that, but I did it like that, because I feel that after he had broken down all of his "walls" so he could confess to himself and to Inara what his feelings were, that Kaylee being kidnapped would send him over the edge.