A/N: AU. Set a couple of days after the battle on Mr. Universe's moon.

Description: Inara, River and Jayne on Serenity alone while the rest of the crew are still in the Medship. Relationships are redefined, losses are explored and bonds are formed. River's mind takes steps to heal itself.

Many thanks to Badkarma00 for the beta!

PLEASE Review and comment.

Title: Back from the Edge

Part I – Then There Were Three

Chapter 1

The sounds of distress from one of the passenger dorms brought Jayne to his feet, gun in hand. Crossing quickly and silently to the doorway he slid the panel open. Seeing the dark form thrashing on the bunk, he uncocked the pistol and slid it into his waistband at the small of his back. Sinking into a chair next to the bunk he stroked the dark hair back from the tear and sweat streaked face.

“Easy now, you're on the ship. Everythin's fine. Shhh.” His mind flashed back to another time many years back and another form thrashing in the throes of a nightmare.

Inara screamed and lunged forward to sit up, her chest heaving with panic. Her eyes began to focus. “Jayne?” Her voice shaky with the remnants of fear based adrenaline.

“I'm here, alls fine.” Jayne's hands were in his lap fidgeting. He weren't quite sure what to do with them. The previous night hadn't been so bad, she'd had some t-shirt she'd borrowed from somewhere to sleep in. Truth is you'd pretty much have to wrap Inara in engine tape to keep her from bein' sexy as hell but she'd gone out and bought some clothes of her own today and she was sleepin' in some wisp of fabric that had Jayne fillin' up with all sort of mixed feelin's on the idea of comforting her.

The nightmares had been a steady thing, for Inara and River in particular, since the fight on Mr. Universe's moon a few days back. Even Jayne wasn't immune like he usually was. Comfortin' womenfolk wasn't something he'd had much cause to do since he'd left home. He'd have stayed clear of the need now but there wasn't anyone else. The rest of the crew was on the medship. That left the three of them onboard Serenity.

He'd been on night duty for both the women and he wasn't sure why he cared. Well, he knew some of it. He'd never had his life saved by a woman before and in a few short hours two different women had saved him. He supposed that Zoe had saved his life on occasion but that weren't the same. Zoe was a warrior woman and with bullets flying hither and yon it weren't that personal. Sides it was her job as a fighting member of the crew, they got in tussles and fought, a certain amount of life saving was gonna happen all around.

When Inara saved his life, it had been different. He'd been grabbing up Zoe to drag her back to the line when that Reaver had him dead to rights. Jayne had known he couldn't turn his gun in time and was dead. Then the fletching of Inara's arrow had appeared in its throat, almost as if by magic, the arrowhead splitting out the back of the creature's spine.

Somehow, it had managed to be very personal. It was obvious who had killed it, which didn't much happen in a gunfight, and it shook him to realize how much courage Inara was showin'. Standing with them, fighting with a ruttin' bow n' arrows as creatures worse than any nightmare he'd ever had, swarmed toward them and she was still having the courage to place an arrow so perfectly.

He hadn't realized it until he heard her having a nightmare as he walked the ship the night before, but something had happened in that moment. She'd become his. Not his woman, just his. He'd heard his ma's voice as he stood outside the room listening to Inara thrash about, “She's your'n Jayne Cobb, she's your 'sponsibility, now get your pigu in there and take care o' that woman.”

Inara leaned her forehead against Jayne's shoulder as her breathing calmed. She wasn't sure why Jayne was here but she was grateful for the human presence. She felt his tension, and the small twitching of his shoulder as he fidgeted. She sat up and gave him a small smile. “Thank you, Jayne.”

He stood to go, “You ok now?”

“For the moment, yes.” She stepped out of bed and reached for her robe. “I think I'll go make some tea and sit for awhile before trying to go back to sleep.”

Jayne nearly bit his tongue at the way the thin silk molded itself to her lush body, then flushed with a rare moment of embarrassment, feeling guilty at even noticing her beauty when she was obviously unaware that she was exposing herself. He looked away. “You ok to go up yourself or ya need me to come?”

“I think I'll be fine, thank you.”

He waved away her thanks and slid the door shut. Shaking his head in discomfort with the situation, he returned to his spot on the couch.

Inara was surprised to see Jayne sitting on the couch when she opened her door. She raised an eyebrow in inquiry, wondering if he was waiting for her.

He gestured towards River's bunk, “Crazy...” Jayne winced at the vision of his ma's glare and the sharp slap upside his head she would have given him. “River ain't sleepin' much better than you.” He shrugged in embarrassment and found something of considerable interest to look at on the wall.

For a very brief moment, Inara wondered what was going on; however, she was much too exhausted emotionally to concern herself with Jayne's odd behavior. Shrugging, she headed for the galley.

River's experience with the Alliance had cracked Inara's beliefs, but it had been possible to compartmentalize it in the category of an aberration. Something to be blamed on a rogue branch of government, not a basic representation of that government. The Alliance took that belief away with the litter of dessicated corpses on Miranda.

The person she had labored her entire life to become, a Companion, was intrinsically tied to the Alliance through the Guild. Everything she was and had been trained to be and believe was wrapped in the stench of Reaver's breath. The Alliance took her sense of self away in that stroke of betrayal.

The violence of the confrontation, Wash's death, the near death for all of them, these images and thoughts thrashed their way through her conscious and unconscious mind leaving no room for much of anything in the way of curiosity for small oddities.

She found herself standing at the counter in the galley staring at nothing. She shivered and began making tea, taking what little refuge she could find in the comforting task.

///

Jayne had finally dozed off when River's moans woke him. He grimaced and stared at the door to River's bunk. He really didn't want to go in there. Rubbing his face with his hands and feeling the laser like glare of his ma's eyes on the back of his head, he headed for the door. “I'm goin', I'm goin'.”

When the blast doors had opened on the figure of the bitty girl drenched in blood and gore, surrounded by mounds of dead Reavers, Jayne's sense of awe had been touched for the first time by another human. He had found god. Well, Goddess more like. The Goddess of Destruction. The perfect weapon.

He understood bone deep, the truth of what her stand meant. He'd survived when he shouldn't have more than once himself, though it was barely a scratch on what she had done. She'd overcome her fear and whatever else had been turning her into a puddle in the floor and put herself between him and certain death. It didn't matter that she hadn't done it for him. Only mattered that she'd done it at all. Besides Jayne liked weapons, and she was the shiniest weapon he'd ever seen.

River unnerved him, but then someone that deadly and a reader besides, ought to unnerve a man, it was only sensible.

He froze as he reached for the door handle, a sudden realization striking him between the eyes with the force of a sledgehammer. Lăo tiān bù. He finally recognized the glare in his ma's eyes. The same glare she gave him when he wasn't treating family right as a youngster. The glare she used as she taught him about his responsibilities to family. After nearly twenty years of a relatively carefree existence, Jayne ruttin' Cobb had family again. Not again, exactly, as he still had plenty back home, but again as in the here and now.

Ta ma de, and what does he get stuck with for family? A crazy girl and a fancy whore. He flinched at the remembered pain of sharp knuckles to the back of his head. “Alright.” He muttered to his ma and opened the door.

River was thoroughly entangled in her blanket and had shoved herself tightly into the corner on her bed. She was thrashing against the blanket and moaning.

Jayne lowered himself into a crouch to present himself as less of a threat. Holding his arm out palm down he approached her slowly, much as he would have a fear crazed colt back on Old Man Tomlinson's ranch. “Easy now C...ni zi, easy. It's just me, Jayne. Easy now.” He continued to speak softly and soothingly. “You're just tangled up in your blanket, let me get you loose.”

He smoothed her hair back with one hand feeling her tremble under his touch. Gently he tugged a corner of the blanket loose with the other. She became tense as her bindings came undone. “It's just Jayne, River. We're safe on Serenity.”

“Where is Simon?” Her eyes flashed to awareness, darting past Jayne, whether looking for an escape route or looking for Simon, Jayne wasn't sure.

“He's in the hospital, remember? He got hurt, you saved him.” Saved us all, he added.

“NO! They'll hurt him, I have to get him out! Bright lights and needles. They'll cut and hurt and take him away from himself we have to save him!”

“He's fine baby girl, Inara looked in on him today. He's just worried about you.”

“He's fine?” River whimpered.

“I promise. He's hurt but getting better.”

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him, “You lie.”

He flushed at the accusation. “Yea, I do sometimes, but I ain't about this.” He'd thought Inara told River how Simon was doing already. Could be River was just disoriented from her nightmare and didn't remember. It was too bad she couldn't go to the hospital to see Simon, it might take some of the edge off her fears. But having her hanging around in an Alliance ship just didn't seem smart.

Seeing her unrelenting gaze he tried to figure a way to calm her. The only thing that came to mind was an idea he didn't like at all. He stalled, trying to think of something else, but as the concern on her face became stronger he could hear his mother's foot tapping impatiently in the back of his mind.

“You're a reader ain'tcha?” He watched her 'dumb question' eye-roll.

“If'n I think real hard about when Inara told me he's ok, you can tell if its true or not, right?”

She nodded, her brow furrowed.

“We'll don't be lookin' for anything else, I'm gonna trust you, ok?” Jayne growled. “Say if you're a reader how come you ain't already looked?”

She grimaced, “Too much turmoil and apprehension can't see past the fog. I will try not to look beyond your stated boundaries.”

Jayne grunted, no clue what that meant other than the fog part. “Oh, well, I'll try and think about it real hard so it gets past the fog then.”

At her distrustful nod he began replaying the scene of Inara telling him about the crew in his head. River began to calm as she 'saw' the scene playing, then froze with tension as he came to the part where Inara told him about the shots Doc wanted them to give her.

She glared at him. “No needles!”

“You made that plenty clear earlier. I ain't gonna do nothin'. Seems to me that trying to chase you down and restrain ya so I can poke ya with a needle'd be about the worst thing I could do for ya. 'Sides you'd probably hurt me and I'm feeling too good about surviving this last week to wanna risk it right now. You been doin' ok 'cept for the nightmares and we all got them.”

She relaxed again, slumping so that her hair drifted down to hide her face. “You can go now, you don't wish to be here and you are afraid of me.”

“Am Not!”

She peeked through the curtain of hair and rolled her eyes.

“We'll not exactly anyway,” He said sheepishly. “After the other day, I trust what ya mean to do, mostly, especially since I don't mean ya any harm. Just don't rightly trust that what you mean to do and what yer body does are gonna be the same thing yet.” Jayne was pretty sure he'd confused himself and he hoped her being a genius and all she'd been able to follow. He didn't want to try and say it again.

She raised her head and looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. “Appropriate response, trust has not yet been established. I am better now, not as much confusion about what is me and what is someone else's desire.

He nodded his agreement and held her blanket up, “You should go back to sleep now if ya can.”

She nodded and curled up as he tucked the blanket around her.

“You want me to stay till you nod off?”

She yawned and murmured, “Your presence may be an effective deterrent for the ghosts that wander my psyche.”

“Huh?” he grunted.

“Yes please.” She yawned again.

He settled to the floor but before he could get comfortable, her soft breathing told him she had already fallen back to sleep.

He rose to his feet silently and slipped out the door.

///

After making tea, Inara sat at the dining room table for a few minutes. It was too quiet, much too ... dead. She made a cup of tea for Jayne and added a double shot of sake.

She found that the large man was missing from his place on the couch and wondered briefly where he had gone. The murmur of voices from River's room gave her the answer. She put his tea on the table near where he had been sitting when she came out of her room and sat at the opposite end of the couch, her feet curled underneath her and cup held in both hands absorbing the warmth.

///

When Jayne slipped out of River's room, he was surprised to see Inara sitting on the couch.

Ai ya, every once in awhile Jayne understood why people thought he was stupid. He hadn't even thought to get Inara to tell the girl her brother was ok.

She looked cold. He slipped into one of the spare bunks and grabbed the blanket folded up on the end of the bed. He carried it to her and unfolded it. She didn't acknowledge him other than to look up and then lift her arms so that he could cover her.

He sat down in his spot on the couch with a groan. He frowned when he noticed the cup of tea on the table. “Uh, thanks?” He said, wondering why in the hell she brought him tea. She just nodded. Shrugging he picked up the cup and took a cautious sniff expecting some sort of flowery type smell. His face smoothed over when he recognized the sharp scent of sake. He downed the tea in two quick gulps and leaned back with a sigh. Propping his feet on the table he let his head flop against the back of the couch.

Jayne woke with a start, the smell of gun smoke strong in his nostrils. He looked around to establish his whereabouts. Oh, right, passenger dorms, he thought. As he stretched, he noticed Inara, still curled up at the other end of the couch, asleep, with one dainty, slipper clad foot sticking out from under the blanket.

Throwing his blanket over his shoulder, he reached down and tugged Inara's blanket around and tucked it under her foot. She whimpering and thrashed a little until he stroked the hair back from her face and whispered, “Shh you're fine, go back to sleep.”

She nuzzled his hand slightly, then relaxed into a quiet sleep. Jayne looked around quickly as if making sure no one was there to see the tender gesture, then headed for his bunk muttering to himself.

Chapter 2

Jayne had spent the day working with the Alliance repair folks to fix the obvious structural damage to Serenity. The engine stuff would have to wait until Kaylee was able to be there to handle the workmen since Jayne didn't know a ruttin' thing about that and he figured Mal would pretty much shoot him on sight if he found out Jayne had let the Alliance folks do things to his ship without knowing what was what. Last he'd heard Mal was still out most of the time so it'd probably be up to Zoe if she were in any shape to make decisions.

He shut the ramp behind the last of the workers and headed for the galley.

///

Inara had spent part of the day on the wave with her Guild after taking the shuttle up to check on the rest of the crew.

She dished up the food she had prepared and then headed for her room. She had thought she made it out of the galley without Jayne noticing that she hadn't eaten but about thirty minutes later he was standing in the doorway of her bunk with a plate of food.

He handed her the plate. “I'm like as to stand here all night less you eat some. I know you ain't had anything to eat all day.”

“I ate some on the medship. I'm really not hungry now.”

Jayne had learned to fight these sort of battles from his ma. Not that he had ever won but he'd eventually gotten to where he could give her a run for her money. “I got time, me and Cra-River done ate and I washed up. And you're lyin' about eating earlier.” He put the plate on her night stand and leaned against the door jam, arms across his chest.

He began telling her everything he had done that day in excruciating detail. First she began to get angry, by about fifteen minutes into the description of the day(approximately 10am) she had moved into furious. For some reason she wasn't able to bring herself to outright scream at him, but it didn't honestly strike her as an effective strategy anyway. She thought of attacking him but for obvious reasons that wasn't exactly plan A. She even thought of trying to shame him into leaving by undressing to change clothes. She'd actually started to unbutton her dress when she realized exactly who she was trying to embarrass by stripping.

She looked up at the pause in his story to find him smirking at her. The ridiculous nature of her situation finally sank in and humor lightened her dark mood slightly. Not enough to show in the least, but enough to allow her to acknowledge that she was actually a slight bit hungry. “Fine, if it will get you the hell out of my room I'll eat a few bites,” she snapped.

He just nodded and shrugged as if he didn't care and continued with his day, which by this time was up to about 11am and at which time he had apparently climbed some stairs.

She picked up her plate and began eating.

“Do ya know when the rest'll be back yet?” Jayne finally stopped babbling and asked a real question.

It took her a few seconds to realize that he was actually making communication noises. “I'm sorry, what?” She took another bite.

“When are they gonna be able to come back?”

Realizing that she had barely spoken a word since she returned from the seeing the crew, she felt guilty. “I'm so sorry, Jayne, I just didn't think. I was in my own little world.”

He shrugged it off as no matter. “Don't matter, Nara, I know you're thinkin' on a lot right now.”

He winked at her, his face totally blank, “'Sides, I think you was just hungry.”

Inara looked down and stared at her empty plate in confusion. Surely she hadn't eaten all of it so quickly. She flushed in embarrassment.

She quickly filled him in on the crew. “Everyone is doing well. Zoe, Simon and Kaylee will be back in a few more days. Mal will have to wait until Simon is well enough to care for him. He really isn't awake all that much yet anyway, his injuries were so severe that once he gets back he'll still need to stay in the infirmary for awhile.”

“Simon is being an extremely difficult patient in his desire to get back to check up on River. I managed to deflect his questions regarding the shots he asked us to give her, but he won't be happy when he finds out she hasn't had any.”

Jayne shrugged, “Reckon he can yell if he wants but seems like she's fine, leastways as fine as I've ever seen her, even on drugs.” He frowned a little, “Spent the day wandering passageways and talking to the ship near as I could tell. But, least she's calm, which does wonders for my calm.”

“She is feeling better but she waits impatiently for her husband and lover.” River's voice sounded nearly in Jayne's ear.

Jayne screeched and jumped, drawing as he spun in the air and landed with his gun pointed at River. “Qīngwā cào de liúmáng, DON'T sneak up on me like that girl! Nearly shot you in the head.”

Even as withdrawn into herself as Inara had become, she couldn't help but be affected by the sight of the brutal mercenary screeching, though it was a very masculine screech, and nearly jumping out of his boots. She just managed to turn her laugh into a gurgling cough.

“Why?” River inquired, a puzzled expression on her face. “If I wanted you dead you wouldn't have gotten a chance to jump and if I wished you no harm you wouldn't have pulled the trigger as evidenced 5.3 seconds ago. You knew who I was and that no harm was meant before you even landed.” She pause, then gave him an impish grin and stuck her tongue out at him.

Jayne stared at her, his mouth gaping open. “Ok, that was just creepifying,” he announced. He felt guilty as soon as her big grin began to fade and wasn't a bit surprised to feel his ma's knuckles rap against his head. So he did the only thing that came to mind to cheer her back up. He stuck his tongue out at her.

Giggling she danced off to her room, calling over her shoulder, “Establishing trust.”

Turning back around to face Inara he caught the tail end of the grin she had allowed herself when he stuck his tongue out at River.

“Ain't in no way funny, damn near died of a heart attack,” he grumbled.

Her eyes still glittering with humor, Inara smothered her grin. “Just so, quite inappropriate. That noise you made? Could that have been a screech?”

Jayne scowled at her, knowing full well she was teasing. Somehow the scowl didn't seem to be working as it usually did. “Jayne don't screech!” Then because he kinda thought it might just have been a screech he tried for a subject change. “What was she on about? Husbands and lovers or some such?”

“I would guess she meant Serenity was missing Mal and Kaylee,” Inara said.

After considering the idea, Jayne smirked, “Makes sense, sorta. One has use for her, the other keeps her shiny and likes to play with her.” Becoming more serious, Jayne asked, “How's Zoe doing...'bout Wash?”

“Not very well. She isn't speaking about it.” Inara shrugged “Not at all unexpected from Zoe. I told her about your fight with the workers that wanted to come on ship before you had freed him.” Inara looked down at her hands. “She was pleased that we took care of it ourselves.” Jayne had done the work of removing Wash from his chair and Inara had cleaned and dressed him before they put him in a preservation chamber.

“He deserved to be taken care of by crew.” Jayne found he actually kinda missed the little man. He hadn't been much taken with him before he was gone but had come to realize that he missed Wash's humor. Although Jayne was much cruder they'd had a similar sense of humor. They both liked to watch people and make fun of their oddities. 'Sides the little man had been the only one that could snark at Mal and get away with it.

“Zoe gonna be up to make decisions about the repairs? Me and the workers've pretty much taken care of all the welding and structural stuff.”

“Knowing Zoe, I think she'll be glad for the work to keep her distracted.” Zoe had been bullying Simon unmercifully to intercede and get her out of the hospital, but she had gotten an infection in her wound from the filthy sword that slashed her open and was still on heavy intravenous antibiotics to make sure the infection didn't enter her spine.

“Guess I'll hit the rack.” Jayne turned and headed up the stairs.

“Good night, Jayne,” Inara called.

“Night, Jayne,” floated through River's closed door.

Jayne grunted.

Chapter 3

Jayne ended his nightly walkabout the ship in the passenger common area as usual. It had become a routine over the last week. Tomorrow would probably be the last night he spent down here. The rest of the crew other than Mal would be returning the morning after.

He was beat, Zoe had given permission for him to allow the Alliance mechanics to begin the major engine repairs two days before, as long as he kept a record of the work for Kaylee, who was still suffering from severe vertigo So he'd been real busy keeping track of what they did. He'd had River re-write the list for him and make a little drawing so it'd be easy for Kaylee to figure what he meant.

After taking a quick peek in River's room and a not so quick one in Inara's to check on them each, he plumped the pillows in the corner of the couch and settled in, his feet on the table.

Tonight it was River's scream that woke him. He dashed into her room to find her awake but sobbing. She was leaning against the wall, knees hugged tightly to her chest crying her heart out. He stopped in the doorway completely at a loss for what to do with the crying girl. He had gotten used to her waking up disoriented but this was the first time for tears.

“Boy now ain't the time be a afraid.” His ma's voice echoed in his mind. I ain't afraid! He asserted back. “Sure ya are, but its too late. Ya already care. I didn't raise no coward, boy, now go hold that girl. You been running long enough.” With a sigh, he sat on the bed and scooped River into his lap. She turned her face into his chest, her small deadly hands twisted into his shirt, and she sobbed, her tears soaking his shirt.

Jayne pulled her blanket up and tucked it in around her, then rocked gently back and forth, one hand holding her, the other soothing her back.

In his minds eye, he saw another little girl, slightly younger than River, in his lap, her face glittering with tears and her body wasted with disease. She looked up into his face, “Love you, Jaynie, I'm gonna miss you when I go to heaven.”

Her face was replaced with a small stillborn baby, wrapped for burial, laid out next to the still form of his beautiful black haired, 17 year old mother, dressed in her Sunday best. She'd died trying to bring him into the world.

The mother and son faded to be replace by a vision of Book, bleeding to death on a pile of sandbags.

“Everything is gonna be fine Ni Zi. Your gonna be fine.” Jayne saw Inara watching them from her doorway, beautiful in her thin nightgown her long legs glowing, the shadow created by the dim running lights hiding and revealing her at the same time.

Still rocking and soothing River with his hand, he closed his eyes and began to hum. It was almost more vibration than noise. River immediately began to calm.

A single tear rolled down his cheek and neck to mingle and lose itself in the puddle River was creating. The small rocky thing in Jayne's chest that purported to be a heart, absorbed the moisture of their mingled tears and softened, just a little, easing a knot of pain carried for many years.

I don't know if I can do this ma, he pleaded silently. She answered gently “Ya have to boy. It hurts, but its the havin' that makes the rest of it worthwhile.” This time the visions were of the joy. Of the things he had never allowed himself to think on for fear he wouldn't be able to get up in the mornings for the missing of them.

The little dark haired girl on his shoulders, her arms spread wide and head thrown back in laughter, the wind blowing through her long curls as a teen-aged Jayne ran down a dirt road.

The woman naked under him in the loft of a barn, her teeth sunk into his shoulder as she tried to smother her cries while she shuddered with pleasure, her black hair tangled with pale gold wisps of straw.

The same woman lying back laughing, with Jayne's head pressed against her rounded belly listening to his child.

Book, his hand waving and punctuating his comments with a cigar as they talked, his face lit with laughter.

His single tear became two, his humming cracked a little here and there then smoothed out as stopped fighting them. The pain of his losses began the slow journey of healing with the slow drift of his tears.

///

River's scream had woken Inara and she had come out of her room in time to see Jayne go into River's. The scene that unfolded mesmerized her. She'd never have dreamed that Jayne Cobb, of all people, could be so gentle. There had been clues the last few days but what she saw unfolding was still beyond her imagination.

When he began to rock the girl, she could have sworn she heard the soft rumble of humming. Her hand flew to her mouth stifling a gasp as a small but definite twinge of jealousy tightened in her chest. Not for the man, but for the comfort he was giving. She longed to be held and rocked and told that she was going to be fine.

She quietly backed away, grabbed her robe from her room and headed for the galley to make tea.

While she waited for the water to boil, tears overcame her and she slumped to the floor, hugging herself tightly as deep sobs shook her body.

///

After River had finally cried herself back to sleep, Jayne gently lowered her to the bed and tucked the blanket snuggly around her. He'd had to gently untwist her hands from his shirt and when she began to fuss at being put down, he sat stroking her hair until she calmed again.

He slid River's door shut and turned to see Inara, in what was becoming her spot on the couch, already covered in her blanket and holding a cup of tea. Her eyes were suspiciously bright as if she had just finished crying or was about to start. “You ok, Nara?” His voice gentle. He was still in that newly softened place deep in his heart of family and love that hadn't been opened in so very long.

She blinked back the fresh tears that threatened at the sound of concern in his voice and nodded quickly. Her body shook and she gasped as the hot tea splashed out of the cup onto her hand.

This time Jayne didn't even need the gentle urging of his ma's voice to act. Crouching in front of Inara, he gently removed the cup from her hands and set it on the table. He lifted her, then settled himself in her place holding her in his lap. Reaching over he grabbed his blanket and threw it over his legs then tucked hers around them both.

Inara shuddered, “I'm so sorry. I...I'm just so lost. I don't know who I am anymore. Nothing makes sense. I feel so alone.”

She felt the rumble of a small chuckle in his chest.

Jayne tilted her chin up with his fingers and looked into her eyes. “Well given how soggy my shirt is I'm thinkin' it oughta be clear ya ain't alone in feeling a mite lost.” He smiled at her.

She'd never seen as peaceful an expression on his face. His smiles ran toward the dirty or the mean and on rare occasion the happy (and even those were usually about dirty or mean things except for his ma's letters), but never, in her experience, the peaceful.

“As for who you are, reckon I can help with that a little. You'd be Inara Sera, the sexiest, most courageous, strongest and I reckon I'll have to throw in most beautiful woman I've ever met outside of my ma. And I reckon you'll sort it out.”

She tried to shake her head in denial but his fingertips wouldn't let her. He wrapped his arms around her. “Just agree, cuz I ain't gonna listen to nothing else. And I'll remind ya as needed.” He tucked her head into his shoulder. “Now you go ahead and cry or sleep or whatever ya need to do. Ya ain't alone and I ain't goin' nowhere. I'm too tired.”

Initially she didn't really believe the 'verse that had taken so much from her the last few days would allow her this comfort but as her body rose and fell with Jayne's breath, her tension slowly bled away until she lay in his arms comforted and feeling better than she had in a very long time. As she drifted off to sleep she heard him growl, “best be keepin' this to ourselves. I'm thinkin it'd do both our reputations considerable damage if it got out.”

She went to sleep with a smile on her face instead of tears.

///

Jayne woke with the scent of jasmine in his nostrils instead of gun smoke. He smiled down at the top of Inara's head and breathed her scent deeply into his lungs. He tasted jasmine and warm woman on his tongue when he let the breath trickle out of his lungs as if it were the finest cigar he had ever smoked. As he shifted and tried to stretch out a few of his kinks without waking her, he realized that his xiăo dìdì was awake and feeling spunky as well. He could feel the soft pressure of Inara's bottom against it.

He smiled as she sighed in her sleep and arched to return the pressure. He closed his eyes and let his head flop back against the couch, then frowned as the squeaky, long unheard voice of his conscience yammered at him. She'd trusted him to comfort her and even though it might do them both a world of good, he couldn't violate that trust by sexin' her up first thing.

He groaned again as she wiggled against him with more urgency. Cupping her face in his hands he drew her head back. The small smile on her face and half closed eyes told him that she weren't really awake yet. He kissed her on the forehead and shifted her gently to sit next to him, her legs still draped across his. She murmured unhappily at the loss of his warmth.

After tucking her in, he slipped the rest of the way out from under her. Jayne headed off for a cold shower muttering a string of very lurid Chinese curses, mostly having to do with idiots, under his breath.

Inara opened her eyes and watched Jayne heading up the stairs with a considering look. This morning had presented her with a multitude of firsts. Not forever, firsts, but certainly 'in a long time' firsts. It had been a very long time since she woken and her first thoughts of the day weren not of Mal. She had woken feeling cherished and comforted. She couldn't remember the last time she had woken in a man's arms and felt safe and protected.

She headed for her bunk, her mind awash in thoughts about her actions. She'd actually woken before Jayne but been unwilling to leave the comfort of his arms and the feel of his body. Her first response, when he had pressed against her, had been instinctual, but the second had been intentional.

She was not certain why she had done it. Part, she supposed, was to test him. Part was simply that she hadn't been with a man in over a year and her body had responded rather insistently to the very, very male presence. After careful consideration she wasn't sure that she would have stopped it had he responded in a more 'Jayne' fashion.

Inara wasn't like some of the Companion's in the Guild. To them sex was merely a tool. Much like courtesan's of old they could present all the right queues but it just didn't mean anything to them and they really couldn't care less if they ever had sex. Inara, on the other hand, was an extremely sexual person. She liked sex and to her it was a necessary part of being fully alive.

She hadn't seen clients while at the Training House and while she and Sheydra had comforted each other twice, Inara much preferred men and it hadn't been completely satisfying. She smirked at herself, and she had still managed to feel guilty for taking that little pleasure. She was getting very tired of denying herself pleasure when the only return so far was pain and anger while waiting for something that may or may not ever even happen.

As she performed her ablutions her mind drifted to Mal. What about her and Mal? They had danced their dance of anger and mutual hurt and frustration with just a hint of possibilities for a very long time now. Did he love her or care at all? Did she love him? She thought he cared for her at times. She knew she cared for him, at times. Yet was hurting someone over and over again and letting them hurt you really about love or was there some darker role being played out.

Even if she and Mal stopped all the dancing right now, could they get past the way they had hurt each other? Could she get past the hurt of being called a whore (in that particularly nasty tone) for so long? Could Mal even see her as anything other than a whore? Knowing that she didn't look at having sex the same way he did, would he ever believe she was faithful? Did she really want to be with someone and wonder the entire time if they were about to call her names or if they already were, just not out loud?

With a sigh, she tugged her cheongsan one last time to make sure it was hanging properly and headed for the galley.

Chapter 4

The three sat eating dinner. Inara had begun joining them the day after Jayne had forced her to eat.

River sat in the middle of the table eating and chattering away about her day. Inara grinned at how close River and Jayne had become. River followed him around much of the day, not like a child or puppy but she was always to be found fairly close to him. Inara knew she'd have to prepare Simon for this unexpected occurrence so that he wouldn't feel as if he 'had gone insane' as he liked to say where Jayne doing something good was concerned.

Jayne didn't appear to be listening to River, but he did stop her and ask questions a few times when it sounded like she might have gotten into things she probably shouldn't.

Inara stifled a grin at those interruptions since even though Jayne's questions were gruff and rude i.e. “What in the ruttin' hell'd ya do that for?” or “That don't make no sense at all, say it again,” River was obviously delighted that someone was listening and carrying on a somewhat normal conversation with her and tried very hard to make sense.

Inara spent time in the evenings with River, brushing her hair and chatting a little, but nothing like the stream of conscious she was unloading on Jayne.

Jayne, for his part, didn't expect to understand everything River said. Truth be told, he was used to it. Regular people often didn't make sense to him let alone a genius that'd had her brain cut on. His mind was just too linear and it seemed to him that people went out of their way to ravel things up.

That was what River liked about talking to Jayne. He didn't try and force what she was saying into preconceived ideas. He just took the ones he understood or almost understood and let the rest go. This meant that he actually got much more out of her conversation than he realized.

River finally wound down and hopped up, dancing toward the door.

Jayne called her back, “Where d'ya think your going, girl?”

She stopped and cocked her head at him, “To prepare for bed.”

“Nope. You got chores. From now on you're in charge of dishes and cleanup in here. Bout time you started helpin' out.”

Surprised, Inara stopped her chopsticks half-way to her mouth and watched River, wondering how she would take the news.

An amazingly bright smile lit up her face, “Really? She will be allowed to be useful and have her own chores?”

“Hell yea,” he responded.

She bound over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him on the cheek as he playfully fought her off.

“Gerrof me girl! Didn't say it to be nice, your s'posed to be all pouty and grumpy now. Gotta growl at people when they give you chores, otherwise they'll be handin' 'em out to ya ever time you turn around.”

Inara smirked at this little bit of merc wisdom having seen first hand just how growly and whiny Jayne could be when given a chore that didn't suit him.

River made a face, that was apparently supposed to be scary, and gave him a wimpy little growl.

He grimaced in disgust and shoved her towards the door. “You best go practice that some and let me and Inara finish eatin'. Then I'll show ya how to clean up.

“I am well aware of how to wash dishes,” she informed him with a haughty smile.

“Fine, then I'll watch ya work . Now scat, go practice that growling.”

Jayne and Inara sat in companionable silence for a time. Jayne concentrated on his food and wouldn't really look at Inara.

“That was a kind thing you did for River, I don't think anyone's thought of giving her chores beyond going on an occasional job.” Inara ventured. “Of course I haven't been on board so she may not have been up to doing chores until recently.”

Jayne grunted. “Didn't really think on it being kind or not. Just been thinkin' of home some and everyone had chores. Didn't matter what what ya was capable of ya had some'n that was yours ta do. It ain't everything, but ya can't be part of something without having responsibilities to it. She's been helpin' me out some with drawin' maps and such, marking what the mechanics do, for Kaylee, but I wanted her to have something that was hers.”

Inara nodded. “I expect it will make her feel much more a part of the crew.” She paused, carefully selecting her words. “I wanted to thank you. For last night ... and this morning. You were a perfect gentleman. I slept much better than I have been.”

Jayne glared at her. “That ain't a nice thing to say, I ain't no wimpy assed piece of go se gentleman!” His face hardened to a scowl, and pointed his chopsticks at her. “And don't you be tellin' anyone that I am!”

Inara tried. Tried and failed miserably to stop the laugh that forced it's way passed her clenched jaw. “I'm sorry, Jayne, I promise not to let anyone know.”

He relaxed with her assurance, studiously ignoring the laughter.

Reflecting on her thoughts from the morning she became curious. “May I ask you a question?”

He frowned at her. “When women start with that, usually means it's one o' them touchy-feely questions. I ain't much on that sort of thing.”

She giggled. “I suppose it is, sort of, but mostly for me. I'll ask and you can decide if you wish to respond.” She waited for his nod of agreement. “Why do you call me a whore?”

Jayne winced. “I ain't called you that in a long time,” he countered.

“I know, but I'm curious.”

He shrugged. “Some, because you are.” He waved her denial off, “I know, you consider it bein' a Companion but there just ain't no difference in my mind.” He grinned at her. “Some because it bugs ya. Gotta say I don't really know why it bugs ya. I mean it's just a job name, like I'm a merc and Kaylee is a mechanic and Doc's a, well doc.” He frowned at the last.

An idea came to him. “Ya do know I don't mean it all mean an nasty like Mal seems ta, don't ya?”

“That was why I asked, I wasn't sure what either of you meant by it and I thought knowing what you mean might help me to understand.”

Jayne thought about it. “I don't know what he means by it, ta be honest. Just know that when he says it to ya it has a little burr in it that makes it a bad thing. Same for when he asks me if I'm going whorin'. Always sounds like he thinks I'm going out to roll around in go se.”

He sat back, his hand stroking his goatee as he thought. “Kaylee says it same as I do, just a job name.” He hurriedly explains, “Not that she'd say it about you, just mean when she uses the word.” He starts laughing, “Don't think I've ever heard Doc say it, somehow can't imagine that, prolly use five or six words to talk all around it without havin' ta say it.”

“I like whores and they got a damn thankless job most a the time, the way people carry on like they're a piece a go se stuck on a shoe. Most of em are real nice people 'til they get treated bad enough times. Sure as hell the 'verse could do without a lot of other folks before it could do without them.”

He leaned back in his chair, eyes focused in the distance. “They're a right comfort to a man sometimes when his soul is on the raggedy edge.” He came back to himself and looked at her, “And they're just as necessary as 'nough food or anything else keeps a body healthy.”

Inara smiled inwardly, leave it to Jayne to wax poetic about whores. “I understand why you don't see a difference between a Companion and a whore now.”

Jayne waited for a moment, then asked when she didn't continue. “Why's that?”

Inara smiled, “One of the reasons Companion's insist on the distinction is to separate themselves as respected from whores who aren't respected.” She shrugged, “You already respect whores so there truly isn't a difference in your mind, except for perhaps a few tricks and a lot of fancy rituals and things that don't interest you anyway.”

Jayne leered at her, “Well now, I'd have to admit a powerful interest in them tricks.”

“Oh, you have no idea just how interested you'd be.” She started to smirk back at him but was stunned by the look of pure and unmitigated desire that came across his face. She felt her body flush with arousal as she unconsciously licked her lips. Then as suddenly as it had appeared, the look was gone.

If it weren't for the lingering flush of arousal she still felt, she might have thought she had imagined it. That was unsettling, she thought. Not since the heady rush of hormones when she was a teenager had she experienced that sort of rush.

Her Guild training in control had made arousal into an action of the mind which allowed her to enjoy a wide range of body types. On occasion she experienced it from the heart. But this was purely a primal body response. It seemed to bypass any mental or emotional connection.

She took a deep breath and tried to change the tone of the situation. “I'll be picking up Kaylee, Simon and Zoe in the morning.” Her voice was still shaky. She took another breath and her voice steadied. “It looks like I will have to relocate from my bunk. Simon wants Kaylee and Zoe to stay in the dorms for the time being to accommodate their varying stages of injury. I talked to Zoe and I'll move back into the shuttle for the time being.”

If she was willing to ignore what had just happened, he thought he could keep from making things worse.” Jayne grunted. “You got what you need for the shuttle?”

Inara shrugged, “I'll pick up a few things tomorrow after everyone gets back. I should be able to make it comfortable enough for the short term.”

“I know Simon ain't gonna be much interested in anything I might say about the Ni Zi, so it'd probably be good for you to tell him how well she's doin' so he don't run in waving a needle first thing.” Jayne commented.

Inara nodded in agreement, “I've been talking to him for the last couple of days so it won't come as a huge shock but I'll do my best.”

Jayne poured himself a mug of Kaylee's wine. “Said you had what you needed for temporary in the shuttle. You goin' back ta that training place?”

Inara smirked at him. “You can say 'whorein', Jayne, but I must warn you. I'm afraid it will not bother me anymore. At least when you use the word.”

His lips twitched, a slight smile appearing. “S'why I didn't say it, just hadn't come up with somethin' else to call it yet.”

She couldn't help grinning. “Jayne Cobb! You actually teased me without being rude!”

He glared at her and muttered, “Well, don't be gettin' used to it, won't be takin so much care once the others are back.”

Inara wondered at his statement. She had assumed that his change would be more or less universal to all the crew members. She considered his question and whether or not to tell him what she felt at the moment.

Jayne saw her draw into herself. “No need ta tell me if ya aren't ready yet or need to talk to the others first.”

She blinked, caught by surprise by his sensitivity. Her initial response was to keep her thoughts private, but by taking a step back and leaving her a graceful way to decline talking, Jayne actually made it possible for her to talk to him. “Would you mind keeping what we talk about private, Jayne? I think I would like to talk it out, sometimes actually saying things out loud clarifies my thoughts.”

She wondered why in the world she was willing to talk to Jayne. What had changed between them that her trust for him was so strong. She realized then, that when he had walked away from her rather than take sexual liberties in her weakness that morning, he had become someone she trusted. She wondered at the small things that could make such a drastic change.

Had she not seen him holding River and wanted that type of comfort so badly herself, she would have never considered letting him hold her. Not such small things after all, just things that happened in a short time to completely change the dynamic of how she thought of him.

Jayne nodded, looking at her seriously. “I'll keep it to myself. If'n you trust me.”

Taking a deep breath Inara began. “I can't imagine going back to the Guild after what we've seen the Alliance is capable of doing. The Guild is very nearly a part of the government as tightly bound together as they are.”

Inara got up and poured Jayne more wine as she prepared another cup of tea for herself. “The Guild feels the same way about me as well, since my involvement in getting the wave out. We have been holding discussions and at the moment I am fighting for them to let me retire, rather than being thrown out.”

At his questioning look she explained, “If I retire I can still use the contacts I have made for other types of business. If they throw me out it would become a federal offense for me to contact any of them.”

“I'm afraid I'm not being a very good advocate for myself though. I...I guess I don't really want to keep anything I have from my association with them. The only reason I'm even trying is because it may be useful to Mal for getting cargoes.”

Jayne's eyes narrowed as he connected a few things. “That why you don't do your rituals and stuff anymore? Cuz you don't want things you learned from them?”

Once again shocked by his perception, she stared at him in amazement. “I didn't realize you were aware of my rituals, or my lack of doing them.”

He shrugged, embarrassed that he had shown how closely he had been watching her. “Ain't no big deal, just cuz I don't say anything about what folks do don't mean I don't see. I watch everyone, mostly just habit, it's the only way to stay alive in my business.”

It made sense once he had explained, but none the less, she was surprised he connected her rituals to her statement about not wanting anything from the Guild. That was a leap she wouldn't have expected. “Yes, I suppose it is. I just don't seem to be able to handle things that remind me of what I've spent my life achieving.” Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. “That is part of why I was feeling so lost last night. Nearly fifteen years of my life gone with nothing to show for it.”

“Go Se. Total go se,” Jayne said.

Inara looked up, the pain on her face turning to anger.

“You know where I got Vera?” Jayne asked.

Confused by the left field question, Inara shook her head.

“Took her off a man 'at tried to kill me. Same as probably three quarters of the weapons I use the most. How long you think a man in my work'd live if he weren't willing to learn from his enemies? That stuff they taught you is just tools. Just like Vera is a tool, one of my best tools. Throwing useful shit away cuz of where ya got it is stupid.”

Inara's anger drained away. She sat gaping.

His eyes drifted away to stare into the past. “Life changes, usually cuz the 'verse up and takes a shitload of stuff way from ya. Gotta just figure out what you got that still works and use it.” Coming back to the present and trying to lighten his mood he teased her. “Not that you gotta use all that you got from them. You been a lot more human-y without all yer Companiony wiles and it looks good on ya.”

“It helps that you haven't behaved in a manner that required me to use them.” She picked up the lighter tone.

“May I...May I ask what you lost, Jayne?” Her voice was soft.

He was silent so long that Inara feared she had gone too far. He began speaking just as she was going to retract the question.

“Ain't always been such a hun dan. Used to have two lights in my life. My little sister Nettie was bright as Kaylee, always cheerful and seeing the best in things. Could always find us together. When she was thirteen and I was fifteen a new girl moved ta town. Sara and Nettie got ta be best friends right away n I ... I fell in love with her. Lost Nettie to some sickness two years later. Lost Sara same year givin' birth to my son. Lost him too.”

Jaynes voice was a flat monotone, denying any emotion. “Didn't have no light anymore. Couldn't stay there, my darkness hurt my ma and family too much. Took off inta the black, seemed like a little more darkness wouldn't matter so much out here.”

River floated up behind Jayne and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Jayne has found his lights again. Wiggled in through the cracks and woke him up.” She drifted around his still form to curl into his lap and wrap her arms around his neck. He sat frozen, resisting her comfort but not pushing her away.

River looked over her shoulder at Inara willing her to come to them. Inara had been uncertain whether he would welcome being comforted. River rolled her eyes at her. Reassured, Inara's innate desire to help people heal came to the fore and she walked around the table to stand behind Jayne.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned into his back, her hands sliding down his arms to hold tightly to him. She rested her cheek on the top of his head as River snuggled her face into his neck.

Jayne was in the middle of a full blown panic attack. He couldn't bring himself to push away from them but he couldn't let go of the hurt he had kept wrapped around himself for so many years. “It's ok boy, it's time, time to be yourself again. Time to be happy again.” His ma's voice sounded in his mind. He knew it wasn't really her, most of it was things she had said to him before his darkness took him away from home. He'd just never been able to listen to her until things had changed.

River whispered in his ear. “Listen to ma. You know she is always right.”

Slowly, like a boulder cracking away from a mountain, Jayne's shell began to crack. His fists relaxed first as his desire to fight dropped away.

Then his shoulders and chest gave way with a deep breath. The warmth of the two bodies melted the ice along his spine relaxing his body.

The last to go was his face and neck, held ridgedly upright and scowling, trying to deny what was occurring and frightened of exposing himself once more.

It ended with a sigh as battles often do. The planes of his face smoothed dropping years from his countenance. His neck relaxed as he settled his cheek to River's face and he let his head lean against Inara. Deep shudders ran through his body as he breathed deeply.

After a time his body calmed but his mind still raced.

River leaned away from him and looked at Inara. “Take him to the shuttle. I suspected what would happen and prepared it for us.”

Inara frowned, uncertain what River meant.

“It is our turn to keep the demons away.” River said, as she gently disengaged herself from Jayne.

“Wha...” Jayne looked around confused at the loss of the embrace and still more than a little lost.

Nodding her understanding, Inara took Jayne's hand. “It's ok, we're just moving, Jayne, come with me.”

“K.” Jayne struggled to his feet and followed the pull of Inara's hand.

Emotions, memories, hurts and pleasures whirled through Jayne's mind at an impossible rate. He wasn't able to think coherently or distinguish the world around him from the kaleidoscope of the past.

Upon entering the shuttle Inara stopped, dismayed by the appearance. River had apparently gone through Inara's few things that had been left in the shuttle when she went away and created a small haven of the bed and surrounding area that struck a familiar chord within Inara. Incense was burning as well as a few candles. Blankets had been scavenged and all in all it was a passable imitation of how Inara would have designed a healing space as a Companion, given the materials available.

Taking strength from Jayne's words about using the tools regardless of where they came from, Inara was able to shift into a healing mode.

She gently urged him to slide into the center of the bed where he curled into a fetal position. After pulling off his boots, she slid into his arms and wrapped hers around him, her legs intertwined with his. She savored the comfortable feel of allowing herself to call on her Guild training and hugged him in thanks.

She looked up over his shoulder when she heard the shuttle door shut and saw River watching them. Inara hadn't expected River, but had no reservations about having her join them. She raised her arm beckoning the girl to the other side of Jayne.

River slid into the bed behind Jayne and tugged on his shoulder to turn him to his back. As he turned over she slid his arm under her and snuggled up to his side, mirroring Inara. Their warmth created a haven for Jayne as they returned the care he had given them since the battle.

He let out a deep sigh as he tightened his hold, pressing them firmly to his sides. His hands caressed their backs out of a tactile desire, not a physical one. Inara raised up to tug the blankets up to cover them, then settled back down along his body. Jayne's breathing began to deepen as their warmth sank into him and his conscious mind, feeling safe, retreated to let his unconscious work through all that had occurred.

Inara's mind relaxed, mulling over the potential that Jayne's observations, regarding the tools the Guild had given her, opened. She examined her skills, looking for the ones most likely to be of use in her new life. A life, she realized now, would be here on Serenity. She had forgotten, in the haze of all she had lost, what she had found when she returned to the ship. The sense of coming home. Of being where she belonged with the people that she belonged to. It seemed odd that it was strongest with the two she held in her arms. But it seemed very right.

River let the calm her two friends were feeling soak into her mind. She began to consider herself. She was in the odd position of having become aware over the last few days that she was much too sane. From a medical perspective she literally couldn't be as sane as she was, especially without the medications Simon had been giving her. She knew exactly what had been done to her and it shouldn't be possible.

For a time, she had considered the idea that perhaps she only thought she was being sane and in reality, given how flexible the academy had taught her reality could be, she was sitting in a corner somewhere drooling. Her solution to that circular argument had been to simply behave as if the sanity were real.

Now, as she sank into the physical contact with both Inara and Jayne, it became clear to her that it wasn't her mind that was keeping her sane. Somehow in the bubble of protection and care and the blessed silence of only two other minds, the part of her that had been let loose in the academy had burrowed into these two other people and into the shelter of their minds.

She followed the tendrils of herself and along one path she could taste Inara, the iron control she had learned as a Companion and the compassion for others that made her so effective. The control gave River the strength to control herself and keep herself separate when other minds were around. Locking the minds of others outside a screen she could reach out through but that didn't allow them into her. The compassion allowed her to forgive herself the things she had done to survive.

Along the other path she could taste Jayne. His understanding of what she had been turned into. He didn't have the education to understand the how or the curiosity and imagination to speculate on the morals or the desire. It was the way of those in power.

Thats why he didn't take part in the war. One authority was the same as any other to him. The one in charge always stepped on the ones that weren't. Brown, purple or pink with yellow polka dots, give them ten years and they'd be the same.

But he had seen what she could do and in his linear way it was clear to him that she had done it before and would again. If those in power had a weapon they used it. It was the nature of power. He didn't weep for a poor damaged girl, he felt awe and pride in her for surviving.

This acceptance kept her from being swallowed by guilt for the deaths she had caused and even to an extent from the memories of what had been done to her. He was a stone that anchored her to herself when she could get lost in all the pieces of others her mind bore, he knew who and what she was, therefor she knew what was hers and what wasn't.

Between the two of them they provided River's mind with the parts it was missing. She worried over what it might become eventually and hoped that they would forgive her when they found out. She knew that they would find out some day because whatever was happening wasn't done yet. But there was nothing she could do, it had already begun without her knowledge. The only thing she could do to end it would be to take her own life. Unfortunately, she was already too sane to do so.

River let herself go, sinking deeper into her protection and drifting into healing sleep.

Unknown by the three, River's mind continued its work, burrowing and twining itself around the same areas in Jayne and Inara that had been modified in her. Like the brain itself will create new grooves when a portion has been damaged, the tendrils that science, if one could call it that, had freed from the confines of River's brain sought out what was needed to make her whole.

The tendril that connected her to Jayne began to notice the tendril that connected her to Inara and moved toward the familiar energy. As it tasted the subtle differences from its sibling's interaction with Inara's brain, it recognized something that smelled of the gold of completion. The tendrils twined and faded into each other.

A/N: I have stopped posting this story here due to lack of interest. For those who would like to read more http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4061608/1/Back_From_The_Edge has additional chapters