Title: R-a-y-n-e part 1/? Author: Gilove2dance Rating: G Pairings: Pre-Rayne Disclaimer: Joss is Boss and therefore I don't own anything. Author's notes: Post BDM though someone is alive because I will never be able to accept their death. Also Our Mrs Reynolds deleted scene is referenced. First ever firefly fanfic! Summary: River picks an unlikely (yeah right) playmate.

“River and Jayne make Rayne.”

Jayne looked up from the inner bullet chamber of Vera he was cleaning. “What are you talkin’ ‘bout now girl?” he scowled at her. “We’re in the black; ain’t no way it can rain here.”

She smiled at him. “Our namesakes spell it.” She slid into the seat next to him, curling her fingers around his bicep and leaning on his shoulder. “R-a-y-n-e.”

Jayne took a moment to figure that out. “Huh,” he said simply and returned his attention to Vera.

“Or if you wish we could be Jiver!”

“Why you goin’ and combinin’ our names in the first place?” growled the mercenary, flexing his arm so that River’s hands popped open.

She looked down at her hands in surprise and smiled shyly. “It will facilitate communication for the others. It is much easier and faster to say ‘Rayne’ then to say ‘Jayne and River’.”

Without looking up from his weapon, Jayne said, “No reason for anyone to be callin’ our names together, Crazy.”

“Sure there is. We will be inseparable.”

Jayne looked at River. “Are you actually serious?” River’s smile widened.

“Captain Daddy, can you come over here please?” River continued to look at Jayne as Mal came over to the table.

“Is my merc bothering you, li’l Albatross?” Mal looked sharply at Jayne. The bigger man snorted and shook his head.

“More like she’s doin’ the bothering, Mal,” Hayne grumbled.

“You are a captain of a ship, right?” asked River eagerly.

“Well, yes,” smiled Mal. He took a seat opposite the pair. “Serenity here is my ship, though some seem to forget it.”

“Back on the Earth-that-was, when ships were boats in water, the captains were able to perform the rites to legal marriages. Are you aware of this? ” River tilted her head and gazed up at Jayne. He looked at her startled.

“Mal—” he began.

“I am aware of that fact,” interrupted the captain. “It’s still fact now.” He looked suspiciously at River. “Why?”

“Jayne and I wish to be married.”

Jayne stared at the girl in shock. After a few seconds his head snapped to Mal. “Gorramit Mal, she’s crazy. I ain’t touched her and I don’t know what she’s talkin’ about,” he protested. “It ain’t my fault!”

“What is Jayne trying to deny this time?” asked Simon as he strolled into the mess with Kaylee.

“Jayne has asked River to marry him.” Mal smirked as the mercenary roared with frustration.

“I ain’t done nothin’!” Jayne yelled.

“Ooo, is Jayne in trouble again? Can we watch him chew out the captain?” Wash bounced happily up to the table pulling Zoë along behind him. “It’s always wacky fun.”

“River, please tell me you are just humouring him and that you aren’t actually considering…” Simon trailed off and gulped, trying to swallow his stomach. In response, River just fluttered her eyes at Jayne.

He made his angry face at her, one that had caused many a hardened man to shake in fear. River only chuckled causing Jayne to actually growl like an angry grizzly bear. The girl just collapsed into a fit of giggles. Looking slightly put out, Jayne scowled and quickly put Vera back together.

“I’ll be in my bunk,” he rumbled and stalked out of the mess. River quickly ran after him still giggling madly. Silence followed for a few seconds and then –

“GET OUTTA MY BUNK!”

“River!” Simon made to jump out of his chair and run out to get his sister. Kaylee quickly grabbed his arm.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it Simon,” Kaylee smiled reassuringly. “Jayne won’t hurt her.”

“How can you say that? He sounds like he’s going to kill her!” Simon cried. “She cut him with a butcher’s knife. He may think she’ll do it again! Not to mention what happened at Maidenhead.”

Kaylee giggled. “I had forgotten about that! She almost tore off his –”

“Exactly,” cut in Simon.

“But Jayne won’t hurt her,” she insisted. “He has four sisters; he’s used to teasing.”

“This is the second time River’s tried to marry someone on my boat. Doc, do you know why she’s obsessed with marriage?” demanded Mal.

“Wait a second,” interrupted Wash. “Second marriage?” He looked around at them with confusion.

“Back when Saffron was on board, River tried to marry me,” replied Simon dryly.

“But you guys are siblings!” Wash could hardly contain his glee. “This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”

“Because I knew you would tease me mercilessly?” Simon looked pointedly at him.

“Very true,” Wash said gravely. “But that’s okay, I can tease you now. You marry River?” He dissolved into chuckles. Zoë playfully punched his chest.

“Leave the poor man alone. River now wants to marry Jayne.” Zoë allowed a smile to play across her face.

Simon groaned and banged his head on the table. “Don’t worry, sweetie,” crooned Kaylee wrapping her arms around him. “Jayne won’t want to marry her.”

“But my sister has an infatuation with a…an…ape!” he wailed.

“Hey,” cried Kaylee. “Jayne is much more personable since Miranda. And he’s very protective of us now.”

“That’s true.” Simon sighed. “Still. It’s Jayne!”

~*~*~*~*~

River pouted at the iron door that had been slammed in her face. The lock clicked into place and he frowned. Seeing a crack along the floor of the walkway and the door, she lay down on her stomach with her cheek against the cold floor. River then began to sing softly.

“The last time I freaked out, I just kept looking down I st-st-stuttering when you asked me what I’m thinking bout Like when I couldn’t breathe, you asked what’s wrong with me My brother Simon said, oh she’s just my mei mei The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself My heart can’t wait till then, ooo oh ooo oh oh I can’t wait to see you again.”

By that last line, the bunk had opened and Jayne’s face was level with River’s.

“Crazy, do you have any idea how annoyin’ that song is?”

She smiled. “Yep. That’s why I’m singing it. I’m drawing the bear out from his cave.” Her smile widened as he sighed.

“Why do you want me to come out for?”

River sighed too. “My brain is hurting from lack of function.”

Jayne paused and considered her words. “Yer bored?” His heart warmed slightly when her face lit up.

“Yes and the rest of the family already have playmates. Zoë and Wash, Simon and Kaylee, Captain Daddy and Inara.” She studied him for a moment. “River and Jayne?” she asked hesitantly.

Jayne frowned. “We ain’t playmates like the rest, dong ma?” he said sternly. “I like ‘em older, saner and a lot more curvier.”

River nodded solemnly. “And prettier.”

“Hey now! You are plenty pretty,” protested Jayne. “Different pretty, sure. You ain’t normal pretty but that’s a good thing.”

River smiled and leaned forwards to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you Jayne.” She giggled when he scowled grumpily.

“No kissin’. Yer brother with castrate me, then throw me out the air lock.” He climbed out of his bunk and swung the door shut. “So what do you want to do?”

River reached out and punched his bicep. “You’re it!” she cried and tore off down the walkway to the mess. Jayne swore and started after her chuckling.

~*~*~*~*~

A shriek of laughter made Mal jump. River came tumbling into the mess followed closely by Jayne. She ran around the table and almost made it to the stairs when Jayne grabbed her wrist.

“Gotcha!” he cried triumphantly. “Now you are it!” Mal watched as Jayne sprinted out the room to the cargo bay with River hot on his heels.

“Am I hallucinating? ‘Cause I swear I just saw my mercenary and my government trained assassin playing tag!” Mal shook his head to clear his vision.

“No sir,” Zoë said calmly. “I saw them too.”

“Maybe we are all in some deep sleep and are all dreaming the same dream,” said Wash thoughtfully. “’Cause I swear I just saw Jayne smile…and not his sneer or lecherous grin…an actual smile.”

Simon banged his head on the table again. “I’m going insane or will be soon.”

~*~*~*~*~

TBC with more frivolous flirting and playing. I'm actually able to write things longer than drabbles in this fandom!! It's so exciting. Anyways, let me know what you think!