Everyone knows this doesn’t belong to me. Everyone knows whom it does belong to!

“I vote for Badger! He washes less, but I like his hat”, Wash put in. Mal and Zoë took a moment to give him a dirty look.

“What?” Wash asked with mock innocence.

“Sir, Wash is not wrong” Zoë said seriously. We can drop the present cargo at Badger’s and take on this new job that he has to offer.” Mal frowned “Don’t want to get too dependent on one individual, particularly not a psychotic lowlife such as Badger.”

“He prefers female psychotics!” Wash added helpfully to his wife.

The crew of Serenity were sitting and standing around the table, discussing their next step in a vaguely democratic manner. River was constantly fidgeting. Simon was trying to quiet River down. Jayne was listening intently to the conversation while drinking something suspicious from a mug. Shepard Book and Inara stood to one side, quiet, but intent. Kaylee sat next to Simon, stealing occasional glances at the captain and Zoë.

River threw herself back in her chair, and became limp like a rag doll. Simon turned away and said

“Taking the medicine will be worth your while, captain. Like before I can make you a list of what to take. Even in a general shipment there are plenty of medicines that will bring in good money. Also, these med stations are a standard design, you can find the layout on the cortex”

“Where is the moustache, doctor?” interpolated Book, dryly. Simon looked annoyed.

Jayne was confused: “What’s that got to do with anythin’?”

*********************************************************************************************************

When Zoë had knocked Saffron out, she searched her for weapons. She found nothing. Then she left her in the guest quarters, snugly tied to a chair.

After talking to the crew and loosely deciding on trying out Saffron’s plan, depending on the details she provided, Mal went to the guest quarters to have a little talk with his wife. In his hand was the layout of the facility, as provided by Simon.

Predictably his wife was wearing a very tragic face when Mal entered the room. “You’re not treating me very nicely,” she said softly.

“Yes, it’s going to give me sleepless nights” Mal replied. “Now, what do we need to know to pull off this caper, if we decide to do it? And why do you need us?”

“It’s just not a one woman job, Mal, and you’re already on your way to Persephone!” Saffron smiled innocently, “It’s straightforward, Mal. No tricks. I just need to get back on my feet”

Mal looked sceptical, but the plans on the cortex that Simon showed him, seemed to corroborate Saffron’s story. It seemed like a good plan.

“There are six guards – two here, two here and two here,” she indicated on the schematic of the facility. “And here in the office, is the officer responsible for the facility” Saffron shot Mal a coy look from under her eyelashes. “He is also my husband”

Mal looked at her in exaggerated surprise “You? Married?”

“Yes”, Saffron replied calmly. “That is why I can give you the access codes, but I can’t go with you.

“Call me a cynical old man, but won’t they have changed the access codes?” Mal enquired. “No, not yet” Saffron smiled brightly at Mal. “I only married him a week ago, and he wouldn’t want to let the others know about his little security slip. They change the codes every month so you still have 4 days.

**********************************************************************************************************

“Disregarding any debris, atmospheric turbulence or pilot error, our estimated ETA on Persephone is approximately 2 hours.” Wash’s voice announced cheerily over the com.

“Mal, we can’t leave her on the ship!” Jayne cried, “You know what happened last time that little…little…um…low-down deceiver was loose on the ship!”

Simon cleared his throat. “I agree with Jayne.”

Jayne glanced at Simon with a shocked expression on his face.

“We can’t leave her here with River” Simon continued. The Shepherd concurred. And so did Kaylee, trying to protect Serenity from the red head that had played havoc with Serenity’s insides on a previous occasion.

“Bi zui” Mal said in a hard voice. “We can’t take her with us, but we will take River and the doc. Zoë, you will have to deal with the med depot. Take Jayne and the Doctor. River and Kaylee will come with me to Badger’s. We all know he has a soft spot for her. Zoë, make sure li’l Kaylee has a gun. Which leaves the Shepherd and Wash.

Shepherd Book looked quiet and serene as usual when he turned to Mal and said, “I will look after her son”

“Thank you Shepherd”, Mal replied with a hint of sarcasm. “Just beware of the special hell”.

Mal interrupted Simon just as he was about to say it, “Sure, doc, an’ she’ll be just fine.”

Wash landed Serenity at the Evesdown Docks within less than two hours. He prepared himself for an invigorating stint of dinosaur-fun whilst he waited for the crew to return. It was going to be relaxing not to have Simon around in worried-older-brother-mode, whilst waiting for the crew to return. He also felt that it was a bonus that his wife was going in the opposite direction of Badger’s layer.

In the hold, the rest of the crew were splitting up to do their allotted tasks. River was wearing a jacket with a hood over her skirt and boots, to protect against the cold, as well as prying eyes. Jayne looked like he was going to undertake a one-man assault on an entire ship of Reavers. Kaylee looked uncomfortable with a 9mm strapped to her hip. Mal and Zoë looked relaxed and assured – they knew they were fooling everyone but each other.

.“OK, people, let’s move!” Mal said.

Zoë, Jayne and Simon went to the free shuttle. Mal and the girls moved towards the mule.

**********************************************************************************************************

Mal was surprised to find Badger in the mood to be pleased that day. There was minimal haggling over the price of the cargo, but an insistence to stay for a drink. Badger seemed disappointed that they were unwilling to take on his next assignment. Since it turned out to be smuggling some more cattle off Persephone, Mal was glad to be able to decline. Cattle in the hold of a spaceship can become remarkably smelly in an incredibly short space of time.

Meanwhile, at the med facility, Zoë was faring equally well. The facility was located on the outskirts of a town, with it’s own landing facilities, for distribution purposes. She and Jayne each took out three of the guards, silently and from behind. The officer in control of the facility wasn’t even in, as it turned out. Saffron’s codes let them in, without an alarm ever going off. They loaded the med supplies in their cold containers into the shuttle, with minimum effort. There was no one around to see them.

As soon as they had finished, Zoë headed back to Serenity. First she waved the captain who had taken an earpiece to keep tabs on their safety.

“Everythin’ went smooth, sir”

“Here too.” Mal sounded jovial; Zoë suspected that he might have been enjoying Badger’s hospitality a little too much.

“See you back at the ship then, sir”

“Yes”, Mal replied “But we may be a little while. Kaylee and River seem to be enjoying the local scenery. Zoe, this is a good day!”

Not Badger then, just a local pub, Zoë thought. It’s also a good thing that the girls get out a little, especially River. And since all the business had been conducted under the radar, she didn’t see why they couldn’t have a quick drink.

Zoë then sent a wave to Serenity, telling Wash to relax; there was no need for a hurried escape – this time, everything went well. He didn’t reply at once, but it wasn’t an emergency, so Zoë didn’t worry too much. However, after 10 minutes, she still hadn’t received a reply from her husband.

Something was wrong.

*********************************************************************************************************

Notes: Thanks to everyone who read and commented. You are all very kind.

The title of this fic:

I wanted to stick with sayings or proverbs for the title. So I picked this one. I dug around on the internet a little and I see that it actually isn't a known proverb in English so here is a little translation of the original proverb and its meaning.

What knows a cat of saffron? or He knows as much about it as a cat knows of saffron.

Meaning: He doesn't know anything about it.

I thought it would work well as a title, and now its stuck in my head and I can't think of anything else - hence the long explanation.