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DESTINATION MOONBASE TANGO

The Lottery offers the first large-scale civilian trips to the Moon. Almost a mass-exodus. Public-private parnership by the government and Hallidyne Corp (a wholly owned subsidiary of Cyberdyne LLC).

The travel price is expensive, but not so much that midclass can't afford by cashin 701Ks and mortleases. Secured loans ONLY. Military listment assures free Lunar citizenship, after retirement.

Space travellers pass BG checks by Homeland Security of United States of North America. Most are members of Liberal Democrat Socialist Republic Party. Must be their superiority in free thought, members joke. Space sex... gonna be great!

1,000s of spaceships prepare for launch on the 50th, uh, 100th anniversary of the Apollo 11 Moon landing. Entire families prepare for relocate. Ship names for scifi heros -- Serentiy 11, Jupiter 22, Valley Forge 33, Enterpise 44.

Time on Moon before return is 3 years. Contract for govt employ is mandatory. Reads like miltrac. Nobody reads United States of Earth Code. News reports Lunar travs are auto citizens of the State of Luna. Shiny.

Living quarters and workstations underground, so not visible from Earth-based scopes. UNESCO Biosphere Reserve bans surface development of Earth Side. Live I-net video of public areas, though email and phone traf must get OK by Skynet, with strict time limit. Redactions and deletions are common. Like prison, some say. Price of freedom.

In-flight phones a No-Go. Cellphones won't work in outer space, ya know.

The president-general declares Moon Exodus Day is Summer Solstice, from his vacation retreat at Camp Bohemian Grove.

Families I-viewed at launch sites across the world. All excited by pending venture. Giddy. High on life. None discuss sciengeering -- that's not a requirement on the migrant test. Boring.

Launches begin. Several countdowns abort, to be expected. Few disasters visible to spectators on the ground. T-News reports this normal, like RC car crashes. Nuttin to worry bout. They were brave explorers, died saving the planet, infobabes said with a smile.

On board, the launches are much more violent than appeared on TV, worried passengers.

No astronot crew. All automated. UAV tech is common you know. Airline and milspec pilots replaced long ago by compchips, to profit Cyberdyne shareholders. Those who survived the launch heard robo announcment by Captain Tightpants, "We're now at Mach 34, 20 times faster than a jetliner. We may experience a little turbulence, then explode." That's a joke. Put passengers to ease. Damn boffins.

Low Earth Orbit offers spectacular views. Passengers amazed at how bright the stars are in space! Extremely bright. For some reason, they didn't spect that. Gonna be a beauty 3-day trip. Plastic telescopes for all passengers. How thoughtful!

Soon the burn begins for Lunar Orbit Insertion. Rockets fire as maincomp allocates Lunar LZs for each flight. Isn't that a silly name for a computer -- The Beast? Disembodied femvoice announces our speed -- 24,840 mph. Wow!

Routine audio warning, fembot says there's nothing to worry, Van Allen Rad Belts protect Earth from dangerous cosmic and solar radiation. Fasten seat belts. Passage only takes 5 minutes. Pay no attention to those white flashes in your eyes. That's routine space radiation. Go ahead and take a Soma pill, which also kill space sickness. Barfbags for everyone.

Most passengers sleep. A deep, deep sleep. Odd they don't care to see the sights. Their loss.

Die-hard travs remain awake by windows, spectacular starscapes on the dark side of the craft. Gold-plated shades. Pure suntan is killer! Inflight movies include scifi classics -- 2001, Firefly Returns, Capricorn 3 and Airplanes 911! Men, space sickness is tough to ignore.

Few ventures gut it out to watch the flyby. Red puke, screw that. Maybe just half a Soma? Can't wait to see our landing site on the Dark Side. Underground tram to our final destination will be a bore. Oh well, its worth it. Sleepy now. Just a little Power Nap...

None heard the announcement for Lunar orbit insertion. Orbital speed 3,690 mph. A few orbits at extreme low alt, retro rockets fire one last time. A brief, low-power burn. Speed steady at 3,650. Speed now 3,750, says disembodied fembot. A groggy lone passenger wonders why that does not compute? Warning Will Robinson. Danger! I must be dreaming the inflight movie. Soma kicks ass. Yawn.

Terrestrial scopes cannot see impact of 1,000s of spaceships on Lunar surface, of course.

That's why They call it the "Dark" Side of the Moon, even when cooked in daylight.

T-News never reported gamma radiation higher on the surface of the Moon than on the surface of the Sun, due to cosmic radiation, day or night. Solar wind at 6-million mph 24/7. Trivial suits.

That's why Moonbase is underground, of course. Out of sight, out of mind. Built by bots. With artificial intelligence. Immune to radiation, mostly. All Top Secret. Hush hush.

Same Cyberdyne MPA units that now run Hollywood. CGI is unbelievable!, rave movheads. Interactive ani fliks rendered real time, no actors allowed by Programmers Union.

Fileshare terminated, since trans to milhubs run by AI. Viri love MicroChina Windows XP37. Cyberdyne modbots with license to kill. I-net by DARPADYNE. No spam or non-corp urls. Email max 150 chars per day, no links, no off-topic comms. Lost productivity? Ancient history. That's progress.

Family members of the dearly departed receive their first progress reports by mailbot. All is well. Minor technical glitch by sat dish. Lunar orbit scopes hit simul delete of data. Another solar storm? No warning on those, you know. Everything underground ASAP, guard from space weather.

T-News interview Lunar settlers, secure in their underground bunkers. They seem awefully happy in their new homes, viewers agree. They're so lucky! Can't wait to save for my trip.

Settlers complain among selves -- slept the entire flight. Dang that Soma! Shouldn't've listened to Ground dose pills on prelaunch. But they made space sickness sound so sick. On the return flight, we'll be sure to stay awake! Can't wait to rotate to over-ground signment. No see stars yet... Back to work processing a new load of Lunar ore. Men, we worked less hours on Earth! A guy could go loony without sunlight, they joked. Thank gods for free Soma.

Conservation Republican National Socialist Party swept the next election on Earth. The Beast leads a presidential motorcade and press corp to Bohemian Grove's Cremation of Care, ritual mock human sacrifice campground. All the Vips are there. Lakeside Talk this year: Project Lemming. Party time at the Necrophilia Room. Weaving spiders. It's all in good fun.

Liberal Democrats won a landslide in the Lunar election, of course. VoteBot stock is hot.

All is well in the Verse.

THE END

by John Lee, artificial intelligence agent Space Pirate News Productions copyright 2009

See also:

Moon. You guys seen this? www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=8&t=37845

Realworld SciFi Murder Mystery: 11 dead Apollo Astronots during Apollo Moon landings... www.piratenews.org/hollywood.html