PART 6 – Hint of a miracle

River couldn’t decide if she wanted to cling to Mal or not, but she kept crying out for ‘daddy’ and he wasn’t correcting her, and Kaylee wasn’t quite sure how to read that. He sat on the bed with her, holding the blanket to her because she kept pushing it off, and tried to rub some warmth into her bones. Kaylee sat on the side of the bed, stroking River’s hair, and murmuring soothes. She needed Simon and a box of tissues would not go amiss either.

“I want to go home,” River cried over and over, rocking against Mal, alternately pounding her head against his chest and trying to escape his embrace.

“We ain’t going anywhere ‘til Zoë pulls through, so just settle yourself down,” Kaylee said firmly. Mal gave her a look and she gave him a look right back. Being accommodating wasn’t going to change things, so she may as well speak honestly. River furrowed her brow and stopped whining, trying to understand the rebuke.

“I want to fly the ship,” she explained, her eyes finding focus as she processed where she was. She separated herself from Mal and edged carefully off the bed, closing her eyes when her bare feet hit the cold tile floor. Mal stood and blocked the door to the hospital room so she wouldn’t dart out.

Then she said, “The ship is home.”

“You mean that luxury boat?” Kaylee asked. She could never remember the name of the ship River worked on.

River shook her head and circled the room, touching the walls like they were paths to another time, then she looked back at them and said, “Serenity.”

Mal inhaled and shuddered. “Little River, Serenity ain’t going anywhere unless it’s in the hold of a much bigger ship. Best we can do is weld the name plate onto something that ain’t so broken.”

“Sick,” River murmured, then she leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, hugging her stomach. “Useless.”

“How sick are you?” Kaylee asked, setting a bowl down next to her in case she vomited again. “Do I need to get Simon?”

River shook her head and pressed back against the wall, tense with pain. Tears fell from her eyes and she inhaled a raggedy breath. “S.O.S.”

Kaylee’s jaw dropped in surprise and disbelief. S.O.S was their code for guy trouble. Being off her meds, men were the least of River’s worries, but at least an S.O.S was something Kaylee knew how to treat without a medical consult. “Is that what this crying is about?”

River raised her arm like she was blocking a punch, then she said it again. “S.O.S.”

“Cap – Mal, will you give us a moment,” Kaylee said. Mal nodded, indicating he’d be right outside in case River tried something crazy. When the door closed, she turned to River again. “Do you want to tell me about him?”

“I wanted to,” River said weakly. “Then Zoë happened. It seems so … unimportant.”

“When a man’s got you sick to your stomach and made you feel like you’re gonna die, that’s an S.O.S.,” Kaylee assured, sitting on the floor next to River. She had one of Emily’s chocolates in her pocket, and she handed it to River, even though River probably wouldn’t keep it down. “Is this about the cook you’ve been seeing? What’s his name? Daquan?”

“Doesn’t matter,” River said, her voice sounding hollow. “He left me… left us.”

“Us?” Kaylee repeated, sitting straight and alert. It couldn’t be.

“This is not what I planned.”

“River, are you …” Kaylee couldn’t even process the thought. River pregnant? “Is that why you stopped your meds?”

“Can’t. Shouldn’t. Not strong enough.”

Kaylee embraced River, her mind suddenly spinning about the notion. One week with River off meds would be hectic. Nine months would be a trip. But her sister-in-law had wanted this for so long, that Kaylee would do anything to help her claim it.

*~*

Mal waited outside of River’s room for all of ten minutes, but there didn’t seem to be anything loud, crazy, or violent going on, and he didn’t like standing still. The observation lounge was crowded, but in a familiar way. Genny and Cole chatted amicably with Inara. Emily listened and chimed in occasionally, but was glued to her father’s hip. Jayne had one arm around his daughter, but stared silently though the window watching the surgery. Michael was curled in a ball in the corner, sleeping under a pile of everyone’s coats.

“One of y’all got a capture of this, right?” he asked the others, pointing to Michael.

“Naturally,” Genny grinned.

Mal paced the room once, trying to decide where to land. He added his coat to the pile on top of Michael, and thought about catching up with Cole, but he wasn’t feeling social enough to talk. He could listen to the conversation just as well when standing by the window. He was saved the trouble of deciding when Jayne turned around.

“It’s done,” he said, heaving a sigh of relief and looking up. Mal wasn’t sure the comment was addressed to any of them.

Simon came in a few minutes later. Somehow it didn’t matter that he’d just finished a twelve hour surgery and was standing among friends, the professional mask would not fall away until the news was delivered and everyone went their own way. Simon always waited until he was alone to feel things. It was his way.

Genny stood, greeting her father with a brief hug. He hugged her back, more out of protocol than anything else. He’d steeled himself.

“How is she?” Mal asked.

“Stable,” Simon reported, a little too cautiously for Mal’s liking. “There’s a tumor on the spine still. We couldn’t get all of it without damaging the nerves, but it’s small enough that it can be treated medically not surgically.”

Mal released a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and embraced Inara. Relief coursed through him. It wasn’t the worst prognosis he’d heard over the years.

“Jamie is setting her up in recovery,” Simon continued. “You can see her there… well, in small groups. She won’t wake for another hour or so.”

The tension in the room broke noticeably as everyone stood, stretched, and wondered what to do now that most of the worrying was over with. Mal went to the pile of coats and nudged Michael’s shoulder.

“Wake up, son,” Mal said softly, unlayering the coats and handing them to their rightful owners. “It’s over.”

“Not now,” Michael murmured, grabbing the last coat and holding on. “I got a great dream going – a pretty girl and a steak dinner.”

Mal chuckled lightly, but froze when he saw Kaylee come in. Had River disappeared again? Kaylee placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder and whispered something in his ear so that the rest couldn’t hear. Mal was not a fan of secrets – especially the kind that made Simon’s eyes go so wide they nearly fell out of his head.

“That … can’t … be,” Simon mouthed slowly.

“Is everything alright?” Mal asked.

“Yeah, fine,” Simon breathed, and then looked at Kaylee again, furrowing his brow and scratching his head, completely confounded.

“Kaylee, what’s goin’ on?” Mal asked. “Is this something to do with the S.O.S?”

“S.O.S?” Inara repeated, alert, and sounding like she knew exactly what the code meant. “Mal, why didn’t you tell me?”

Mal threw his hands up and backed away.

“Everything’s shiny, Cap,” Kaylee assured, shooting a quick look at Inara as she said it. “Go see Zoë.”

Inara tugged Mal’s elbow. “Come on, Mal. River is in good hands.”

Kaylee and Inara exchanged a conspiratorial glance as Kaylee pulled Simon into the hall. Simon still looked dumbstruck, but he poked his head in a moment later.

“Recovery ward is that way,” he said distractedly, pointing at the door frame. “I’ll …”

Mal watched him go again, frustrated that no one would tell him what the hell was going on. But Inara squeezed his hand and he wanted to see Zoë.

*~*

Cole paced the hallway outside the recovery room, peeking through the small window on the door, trying to catch a glimpse of Zoë. It was frustrating, being so close and not being allowed in. This was his sister. Everyone else got to see her before the surgery and hold her hand and say their words, and now they were getting a second chance and he was out here. Genny placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder when he paused by the door again. Michael leaned against the wall, half-sleeping.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Cole cursed the fire marshals and leaned on the wall next to Michael, brooding and waiting his turn. He looked up as Jamie approached. Jamie’s shoulders were hunched in weariness and his hair was wet, meaning he’d probably held his head under a faucet. He’d changed into clean scrubs, but the flip-flops on his feet meant he was done working for now. When he saw them, Jamie broke into a wide smile and started running. Cole grinned and laughed, infected by his friend’s enthusiasm.

“Hey, genius,” Cole greeted his old playmate, laughing as Jamie tackled him in a giant bear hug. “Long time, no see.”

“You’re the one who ran off with my sister to tour the worlds,” Jamie joked wryly, wrestling playfully to get the upper hand. They were almost matched for height now, but Cole was stronger. He could win wrestling matches with Jamie easier than with Genny, because Genny fought dirty.

“Glad you’re here,” Jamie said, laughing as he doubled over, utterly failing to flip Cole on his back. Jamie always said sentimental things like that, and the words sent a grateful tingle through Cole’s heart.

Genny pinched Cole’s neck – fighting dirty – and pulled him off Jamie so that she could hug her twin. “It’s good news,” she said cautiously, “about Zoë.”

“Is that what dad said?” Jamie asked, his tone changing quickly to bitter.

“Jamie, stop,” Cole warned.

Jamie swallowed his cynicism, trying to absorb some cheer and optimism by keeping his sister in a one-armed hug. “He would know. He’s seen all the miracles.”

Jamie was there when Sky died. It was what compelled him to go to medical school. All of the sudden, his inner genius emerged, and he skipped ahead of Cole in his schooling. He finished three grade levels of course work in half a year, and won a full ride scholarship to the university of his choice. But no matter how smart he got, he couldn’t bring Sky back. As proud as Cole was of his friend, he hated the cynicism that Jamie carried with that burden, and he wouldn’t tolerate it. He crossed her arms and gave Jamie a look that told him he’d better shape up his attitude or Cole would shape it for him. It was a threat, but it always made Jamie smile.

“I’m sorry,” Jamie mumbled. “I’m –”

“Tired,” Michael finished. They all looked at him. He was usually more polite about not finishing people’s thoughts.

“I was going to say hungry,” Jamie said.

“No, I’m tired,” Michael clarified.

“Aww, do you want your Mommy,” Genny teased sympathetically, wrapping an arm around Michael. He rested his head wearily on top of hers.

“Carry me.”

Genny laughed and rubbed his shoulders. “I would, but you’ve turned into a damn boulder. Seriously. Look at these muscles.”

She poked Michael’s side, but he wasn’t ticklish like Cole was, and he just whined irritably.

“This from the woman who wanted to carry me across the threshold,” Cole laughed. “You could carry him if you wanted to.”

“He’s got seventy pounds on her!” Jamie countered. “Lift, yes. Carry, no.”

“She could,” Cole insisted. “I will bet lunch she can carry him from here to the sandwich shop.”

“Thank you so much for volunteering me for this valiant test of your manhood, husband,” Genny said sardonically.

Cole puffed his chest. “I’ll carry him.”

“I would rather you didn’t,” Michael said tiredly. “I already got a black eye today. I don’t need a concussion.”

“Shen sheng de gao wan. Why does anyone have to be carried?” Jamie interrupted. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”

“I wouldn’t drop you,” Cole said to Michael, lowering his voice as they started walking.

“You dropped me,” Genny said.

“You were putting up a fight,” Cole said defensively, holding up a finger to forestall the judgment of the other guys. Then he pointed at Michael. “Little zombie man knows if you don’t want to be dropped, you lie there like a sack of potatoes.”

“Me. Gun. You. Head. Shoot. Explode,” Michael grumbled tiredly. “Tian a, I’m too tired to make threats.”

Cole covered his mouth and laughed at his brother.

“Where’s Emily?” Jamie asked.

Cole wrinkled his nose and nodded bitterly back toward the door to the recovery room.

“Sticking to her Papa’s side,” Genny explained. “She’s still not convinced this isn’t an elaborate form of intervention.”

“Heartless sha gua! Ni men dou!” Jamie gave them an incredulous look, then ran back to the door and poked his head inside. “Hey, squirt. Let’s get lunch and catch up.”

Jamie’s ability to get Emily to obey was rivaled only by Uncle Jayne’s. Cole figured everyone must have someone like that in their lives – not just someone you knew wanted the best for you, but who would do the same for you that you would do for yourself – someone whose intentions you never questioned. Emily came out immediately, looking annoyed, but in good spirits.

“My Momma is taller than you. My Papa is taller than you. One day I’ll be taller than you, and you won’t be able to call me squirt,” she told Jamie.

Jamie laughed at her and messed up her hair. She punched his arm and tickled his sides. Then she jumped on his back and planted a giant raspberry on his cheek. Jamie adjusted his grip and piggy-back carried Emily down the hall. It always amazed Cole that Jamie could wrestle and run in those flip flops without losing them.

“She gets carried,” Michael pointed out in a mock whine as they started walking again.

“Hey, Jamie. Michael gave me his card,” Emily said excitedly, reaching around to show Jamie the business card.

Michael sighed again and Cole put an arm around his little brother’s shoulder, trying hard not to laugh with the others. He’d missed them all so much.

*~*

Part 7