Start at the Prologue

PART 1

Little Zoë loved autumn more than any other time of year on Deadwood. The grass was still green from summer rains, but the humidity was gone and the air was perfectly cool. The soft grass tickled between her toes as she padded through it, tossing a Frisbee back and forth with Michael. She’d left her new shoes on the porch because the heels kept sinking into the soil. The stitches on her spine itched against her shirt and her abs were straining in protest about being upright, but she was so tired of sitting, and she wanted to be active while the pain pills were still working at their max. She’d never had the cancer hit her nervous system so hard and she found rehab incredibly frustrating and boring. Her control over the Frisbee left much to be desired.

“How many are coming?” she asked Michael. He’d arrived early that morning for their parents’ big party and nearly scared her to death by climbing through her window and crawling into bed next to her. One day, she’d tell him to stop doing that, but it was so precious that he wanted to spend that part of his day with her. That time was his. She’d hear more about his life in the twenty minutes before dawn than she would the entire twenty hours after.

“Just three,” he answered, tossing the Frisbee back to her. She was making him run, but he was considerately giving her easy tosses. “Berke, Jarvis, and Courtney.”

“You’re bringing the guys to hide the fact that you’re bringing the girl,” Zoë teased and Michael made a face. “I always thought you’d get back with Chelsea. You two had such chemistry.”

“In the daytime,” Michael allowed. “At night, she was so loud, I could never sleep.”

“Are you talking about snoring or the psychic equivalent?”

Michael held the Frisbee reflectively, forgetting to toss as his thoughts mulled over his ex. Michael claimed he’d done the leaving, but he clearly still had strong feelings for her.

“Was she your first?” Zoë asked.

Michael gave her a questioning look and she shot him the ‘you know what I mean’ eyebrow raise. She’d already left home when the family moved to Deadwood, and Michael didn’t talk much about the girls he dated. He tossed the Frisbee high, making her jump for it.

“My sex life is not something I want to discuss with my sister,” he said dismissively.

“How about your brother?”

Both Zoë and Michael froze in surprise as Cole jumped the fence and strode across the back yard.

“Cole!” Zoë squealed, running toward him and hugging him. Michael glomped them both and Zoë hissed at the pull on their injuries. Cole was solid as a wall and Zoë was crushed between her two brothers.

“I thought you weren’t getting here ‘til tonight,” Zoë said.

“It’s amazing how fast a ship can go when it’s not held together with bubble gum and duct tape,” Cole said. He’d caught on to Zoë’s discomfort and made her sit down on the steps by the back porch.

“So, which ‘she’ are we talking about and was she your first?” Cole asked Michael good-humoredly.

Michael threw up his hands in frustration and turned his back, but Cole grabbed his arm and pulled him back, forcing him to stay with a firm arm around his shoulder.

“Sorry. Don’t mean to pry,” Cole said.

“Yes you do,” Michael groused, batting at Cole’s hand, trying to twist free. “A gentleman does not kiss and tell.”

Cole looked to Zoë.

“I was asking about the new pilot on the Cadence,” Zoë explained.

“Oh, she’s not his first. She’s at least third,” Cole said flippantly and Michael turned a horrid shade of pink. “I’ve narrowed the first one down to two, but he won’t tell me who the lucky lady was.”

“Don’t think their names! It’s cruel,” Michael cried jerking away from Cole and pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “It’s not like you think. I loved her. I loved –”

Michael clenched his fist and glowered. “Not all of us are built for monogamy. Yesu, most days, I swear I’m not built for people.”

“Sorry I brought it up,” Zoë apologized, leaning over to pat Michael’s leg. “I just wanted to know how serious you were about this girl before we meet her. Family gatherings are kinda like throwing people to the wolves.”

“He doesn’t have to sex her to prove he’s serious,” Cole defended. Cole was among that rare breed of men who hadn’t had sex until he was married to his wife – and it wasn’t for lack of opportunity.

“But seriously,” Cole said, turning to Michael. “What’s her name and how serious is it?”

Michael’s face scrunched and he started getting that flustered look like he’d been picked on too much. Zoë took pity on her little brother.

“The pilot’s name –”

“Her name is Courtney,” Michael interrupted. For a man built like an ox, he could get extremely quiet and vulnerable. “She’s been on the ship maybe two months. Sex, no. Serious ... I don’t know. But we’re friends and we get along. She’s a soother... like Cole.”

Zoë sat up straighter. Michael rarely described a person in terms of psychic impression unless they were unusual. “What do you mean like Cole?”

Cole looked confused as well, but seeing how upset Michael was getting, he held back any snarky comments. He pulled Michael into a gentle one-armed hug. “Do you want to tell us, di di?”

Michael stuttered and looked at the ground, searching for words to explain how he perceived the world. Zoë stood up and pressed closer to their circle so Michael wouldn’t have to speak so loud to be heard.

“I always thought it was the way you were,” he said, looking at Cole gratefully and guiltily. “But I meet people every now and again that have that same effect. It’s as if you create this bubble so that I can still tell what’s going on in the world, but it can’t overwhelm me. I feel it even now, and it helps me talk.”

Michael took a deep breath and placed his hand over Cole’s, squeezing until he milked a fresh hug from his brother. His eyes flickered toward Zoë.

“It’s different than when a regular person calms me,” he told her. “With you or Mama or Baba, you get yourself quiet and I sit in that peace and it filters things. With Cole, it doesn’t make a bit of difference how quiet he is, because he builds the tower around me. I see every facet of the noise and understand it all. It’s a fortress – more protected.”

Michael fell quiet and leaned his head against Cole’s arm as a show that he was done talking.

“I don’t get it,” Cole said.

Zoë furrowed her brow, trying to understand her brother’s words, wishing she had a recorder and could play them back. “You’re talking about people that are – for lack of a better word – designed to be protectors to a reader?”

Michael shrugged and kept his eyes on his feet. “I’ve only met a few.”

Cole smiled broadly, trying to lighten the mood. “I feel so special.”

“Do they have siblings who are readers?” Zoë persisted.

Michael shook his head and shrugged again. “I don’t know. Uncle Simon’s not a soother, if that’s where you’re going. Courtney never mentions her family. Of course, before I invited her here, I never mentioned mine. Please don’t interrogate her when she comes.”

Zoë practically jumped out of her skin as the back door screeched open and their father came out.

“There you are! I thought I heard someone shouting your name.” Mal said, yanking Cole up the steps to give him a hug. Since Cole and Michael were still attached, he ended up with both of them. Zoë smiled and placed a hand on Michael’s back to keep him from stumbling on the stairs.

“Have they been picking on you?” Mal asked Michael as he separated his boys enough to get one arm around each of them.

“Michael was just asking us not to embarrass him too much when his girlfriend gets here,” Zoë said.

“Not girlfriend,” Michael whined.

Mal winked at Zoë conspiratorially. “I’ll make sure to hide the baby books from Mama.”

“Where is Mama?” Cole asked. If he’d come that evening like he was supposed to, Mama would’ve been waiting on the front swing to greet him.

“Upstairs,” Mal said with a nod. “She’ll tell you she turned her foot when she was fixing up the garden, but I think she fell off her fancy new shoes.”

“I wish I could borrow her shoes,” Zoë sighed as her father shot her an accusing look.

“Would’ve saved me some if you two shared.”

Zoë flexed her ankles and scrunched her nose. “Stupid giant feet!”

“Where’s your wife?” Mal asked Cole, as Cole tried to break away and go inside.

“Still parking the space ship,” Cole said. He held up his hands defensively when they all gave him the same concerned look. “She disagreed with the port master on the daily rate, and ... sometimes I just need to get out of her way.”

“Just you two?” Mal asked. “No Jamie?”

Cole shook his head and sighed. “Us, plus four from the crew.”

“Plus three from mine,” Michael said, raising a finger.

“Plus the owner of the shoe warehouse and possibly her two daughters,” Zoë added, laughing at the raised eyebrow she got from her father. “We got to talking! Mama invited them.”

“Mama’s in your room?” Cole asked, trying to duck out from under Mal’s arm again. This time, Mal let him go and he tugged Michael by the elbow, leading him toward the garage.

“Come on, set-up guru,” Mal said. “Let’s set up the smoker.”

*~*

Zoë watched to make sure Michael was okay before she dashed in after Cole. As easy as it was to get Cole to talk, it was next to impossible to get him to say anything deep without being one-on-one.

“Is everything okay between you and Genny?” Zoë asked, following him through the kitchen and then the hallway. Cole gave her a look as he rounded the banister and started up the stairs.

“Yes, I mean to pry,” Zoë said firmly.

“Our marriage is great. The work is stressful,” Cole said tersely, not looking back at her.

“I can’t believe you talked the Guild into signing over that space ship to her,” Zoë said, dropping the topic as a test. “She’s never even crewed a vessel like that.”

“It’s just four months probationary and we’ve already decided she’ll relinquish command at the end of the term,” Cole said mechanically, then he froze on the stair. He hadn’t meant to reveal that.

“Why?”

Cole looked at his shoes and took a quick breath. “Um, can you not repeat that to anyone.”

“Why would you give the ship back?” Zoë pressed, grabbing Cole’s elbow to turn him around. “Trust me, Cole, it’ll take you a few months to settle in, but you’ll get it.”

Cole sighed, and looked sideways at the pictures on the wall.

“The stress is coming between you?” Zoë asked worriedly.

“No, it’s…” He covered his mouth to keep from saying anything else he didn’t want, but she could see in his eyes that he wanted to talk. “Okay fine. You didn’t hear this from me and you can’t repeat this to anyone.”

Zoë nodded. Cole looked around like the whole house was bugged and he chickened out.

“I shouldn’t even be hinting that there’s something to know,” he said critically. “Genny will kill me. She’ll bury me alive and dance on my grave, I’m not exaggerating.”

“Cole.”

“Okay, I’m exaggerating a little,” he said, and started up the stairs again. Zoë placed a hand on his shoulder and he stopped walking. Placing his hand over hers, he shook his head and laughed softly to himself.

“I wish you weren’t so concerned,” he said, looking her directly in the eye with a grateful, disarming smile. “Honestly, Zoë, there is nothing for you to worry about. Genny and I are fine. Everything is shiny. But don’t go mentioning about the ship. Please.”

Zoë stayed quiet a moment, keeping eye contact, trying to discern if he was putting on an act. Cole had enough charm and charisma to make her believe the tooth fairy was real and gravity was a myth.

“Ok,” she finally agreed. “I’m here for you, you know that. And I’m very good with secrets.”

Cole’s eyes crinkled and a ripple of emotion tightened the skin on his face as he looked away again. He bounced on his feet uncertainly. Zoë had seen him distraught before, but she’d never seen him like this.

“If I tell you this, you have to promise to keep it under wraps,” he said.

“Of course.”

“You can’t even let on to Genny that you know anything,” Cole said.

Zoë put on her best poker face and was surprised when Cole broke into a broad smile. She hadn’t been expecting good news.

“Ok, good, because I’ve been dying to tell someone.”

Cole leaned close to her ear and whispered, “I’m going to be a dad!”

“What!” Zoë squealed, but Cole clamped a hand over her mouth. Zoë’s mind raced and she had a sudden urge to shout at the top of her voice. They were both snickering and smiling like goons, but after a few moments of giddiness, with a deep breath, they both went expressionless. Zoë managed to keep a straight face until Cole broke into gleeful giggles again. She could see why it was killing him not to tell everyone, but she supposed he and Genny had their reasons. It was going to be difficult for Zoë to keep the smile off her face, and Cole waved her away, because he knew if she followed him into Mama’s room, they’d give themselves away.

“Not a peep,” Cole warned when he was at the top of the stairs and she at the bottom.

“If you’re lying to me, I will bury you alive and dance on your grave,” Zoë warned. “I am not exaggerating.”

*~*

Mal was glad for the growing guest list, because he’d gotten a little carried away at the butcher shop and bought himself a whole cow. It was his momma’s fault for bringing him up on a ranch. Mal had never wanted his own ranch, but he wouldn’t mind having a head or two of his own. Inara wouldn’t let him though. Whenever Mal got close to negotiating a deal on a steer, Inara would sic Cole on him, and that boy had more wiles and manipulation skills than any person Mal had ever met. Sometimes Mal wondered if Cole had some special mind power like Michael.

As Mal rolled the smoker out into the yard, Michael stood in the middle of the garage, staring at tidy stack of boxes where his childhood had been packed away. Everything was organized and in boxes as far as he could go without Inara yelling at him that she needed something.

“Is it done?” Mal asked.

Michael nodded. “As of tomorrow, you are the new Captain of Serenity II – or, whatever you decide to name her. Berke is bringing the final paperwork tonight.”

The conversation nudged Michael back into motion and he went to their giant meat refrigerator to select the first round of cuts that needed smoking. Mal had showed both his boys how to slaughter a cow and tried to teach them the finer points of selecting quality beef, but having grown up on a ship, they considered anything that wasn’t a protein supplement high quality food. As fresh meat went, Michael preferred bird game and were it not for his Mama, he’d have shot every duck in their creek by now.

“Is Mama excited?” Michael asked as they rolled the smoker into the back yard.

“Still working out how to tell her,” Mal answered, arranging the charcoal in the smoker. This was probably his last chance to use this thing for awhile, and it would be one of the things he missed about being planet side. “I can’t bring the ship here and I can’t move the party there –”

“Not to question your epic vision, Pops, but why would you want all of us there?”

Mal paused and stared blankly at the coals. “Well it’s from all of us. What would you suggest?”

Michael shook his head patronizingly and patted Mal on the back. “I would’ve suggested telling her that her life is about to change drastically before everyone showed up, and not springing it on her while everyone is watching. But containment is not an issue. Don’t you worry, I’ve got it covered.”

“Okay,” Mal said slowly, looking toward his bedroom window. He knew Inara wanted to leave the world. He wasn’t worried about that … until now. “So I …”

Michael clapped him on the shoulder. “And here I thought you were a romantic. Tease her with it. Take her out of the world and show her the stars. And when you see her wishing that she don’t have to come back here, tell her she doesn’t. That’s what I would do.”

Mal looked at the sky, imagining the moments as Michael described them and Michael smiled wistfully, coveting the fairy tale. Michael was a hopeless romantic, and loved freely, but he danced between women because he struggled constantly with trust. Mal often pointed out that there was a difference between lying to someone and simply keeping a part hidden. There were plenty of things in his life that he never shared with Inara. But in the end, Mal had to concede that he wasn’t hiding an ability that half the ‘verse believed was fiction. His secrets wouldn’t get him whisked away to a government lab where people performed crazy experiments on him. So he couldn’t possibly understand the burden his son carried day by day.

Michael tensed suddenly and turned his ear to the house, listening. Mal listened too, but didn’t hear anything.

“What is it?” Mal asked.

“Nothing,” Michael said, so softly the words almost didn’t come out. “I shouldn’t be eavesdropping.”

*~*

Please comment before reading on to Part 2