Title: Girl Talk Author: haditnuit Rating: pg Disclaimer: They're not mine. I just think they're shiny. Feedback: If you gave me feedback, you would be my personal Jesus... E-mail: had.nuit@gmail.com Summary: Kaylee and Inara relax and talk about...what else? Boys! Spoilers: Allusion to 'The Message'

"Girl Talk"

“How do you do it? There’s so many of them.” Kaylee’s gaze drifted over the screen in front of Inara. Upwards of twenty faces stared out at her, each and every one the handsome visage of a wealthy, well-groomed gentleman. “It seems to me that you do not have problems with the ‘attracting’ part. Just the types you attract. Like the kind that-” Inara traced her finger over the screen, searching for tactful words. “Dies?” Inara arched an eyebrow at this. “I was going to put it slightly more poetically…” “No use being fancy about it. It happens to everyone.” Kaylee reached over to pick up her glass tumbler and tossed back a large gulp of the fruity liquid. “What is this? It’s squizzy.” “Just don’t go drinking it too quickly. That’s a powerful drink. Used only for emergencies.” She smiled at Kaylee.

“What sorts of emergencies?” The crew had certainly seen their fair share of them in the past, and Kaylee could not recall ever seeing Inara resort to her well-concealed alcohol.

“Not that kind of emergency.” The companion sipped at her own beverage for a moment. “Emergencies of a more…personal nature.” She paused for a moment, lost in thought, before changing the subject. “And not all the men I attract are…particularly desirable.” She pointed to the picture of a man, whose face was twisted in a horrible rendition of a smile. It seemed as though in preparation for propositioning the companion, he had taken his first bath since his nanny had forced him in the tub as a small boy. They both giggled. “But you can be choosey.” Kaylee pointed to another picture of a much more attractive man. “I just have to take what comes.” She stared down at the legs of her jumpsuit, fingering the small pink rabbit patch. She frowned at its greasy, oil-stained state. “I’ll bet that one of these days, someone will see the light inside you.” Inara grimaced as the words left her mouth. Clearly the liquor was taking its own toll on her verbal skills. “You make me sound like an engine part.” Inara smiled. “Better an engine part than…” again, language failed her and she resorted to switching gears. “What about Simon?” Her voice took on an almost school-girl air and Kaylee found herself surprised that a woman with as much…experience…as Inara could find interest in the tamest of relationships. “What about him?” Another gulp to distract from the blush in her cheeks. “You know what I mean. What’s going on with you guys? I see the looks…the wistful gazes…the footsie under the table…” “We do NOT play footsie!” Kaylee burst out laughing. The look she received plainly implied that her claim was not credible. “We don’t.” The effect of the drink altered itself, and the two sank into a somber silence. “It’s just…” “What?” “I’m one of the guys.” Inara’s gaze traveled to Kaylee’s bosom. The other’s eyes followed, and they both giggled. “You know what I mean. I’m one of the crew. A buddy. But the way they look at you…” “The way who looks at me?” Inara swallowed another sip. “Oh, all of them.” “Not Wash...” “No, not Wash. But Jayne.” “Ulk. You can have Jayne, if that’s what you want.” Inara made a face and stuck out her tongue. “And you really could, too. Anyone could have Jayne. That toothless old crone from the tavern at our last stop could’ve had him, if she’d asked.” Kaylee grinned. “And Mal.” Inara grew quiet at this. “He does, you know. Look at you.” The two looked at each other for a moment and burst out laughing at the simple mention of it. “You looked great in that dress,” Inara offered after they both regained control. “Yeah, but it wasn’t me. The captain was really great that night. I had fun. But it wasn’t me.” Inara raised a meticulously sculpted eyebrow. “He was great, was he?” “Not like that!” Kaylee sent a stuffed pillow flying. It hit Inara on the forehead and bonked off, knocking the liquor bottle off the table. They both yelped and dove for it, managing to stop its floor-ward hurtle. In celebration, more drinks were poured. They sat, once again in silence, Inara sipping her beverage and Kaylee drinking hers steadily. “I can’t imagine why they think of you as ‘one of the guys’…” “Shuddup.” Kaylee set her glass down an inch away from the table. It thumped on the ground and spilled. More giggles. She rose to pick it up and found herself looking up at the ceiling. Inara’s face came into view, looking down. “I told you it was strong.” Kaylee smiled and reverted into pensive mode. Inara gave it a few minutes before asking, “Anything on your mind?” “Can you pierce my navel?” “Your navel?” “Yeah. I've always wanted to. I think the best time would be now. When my body’s slightly numb…” “One second.” Inara rummaged through some drawers and came out with a needle and a belly button ring; one she’d picked up on Ariel, but discarded for the more ornate belly jewelry she currently sported. “You can use this one for now…here, get up on the bed.” “I don’t think I can move…” Kaylee could feel her pupils dilating. “Alright…” Inara crouched down next to her and frowned. “You’re going to have to take off your jumpsuit.” “K.” Kaylee remained still. “I can’t move my fingers.” “I’ll do it…” Inara removed the jumpsuit to expose her navel, and readied the needle. “On the count of three.” “No.” “What?” “People always say ‘on the count of three’. And then they actually do it on the count of two.” “I always wait for three.” “Maybe you could do it on the count of ‘shiny’. You know. Just pierce it. And then say ‘shiny’. So I can think it looks good, until I actually see it.” “I promise I’ll wait until three.” “Promise?” “Yes. One, two—” “OW!” Kaylee glared at Inara, who grinned back. “Shiny.” They both turned towards the door. “Mal!” “Captain!” “No, that’s alright, girls. I’ll just leave you to it…” Mal’s eyes twinkled. “It’s not what it—” “Don’t worry. I’ll be in my bunk,” Jayne’s line seemed quite appropriate. The two watched him leave. “I keep telling him not to come in here!” Inara quickly slipped the ring into her navel and snapped it shut. Kaylee looked slightly disgusted. “What is it?” “Is he gonna go and…you know…and be thinking…about…you know…” Inara contemplated it for a minute. “Probably.” “Ew.” “Boys will be boys.” “So, how’s it look?” Inara studied Kaylee for a moment. She had the perfect body for it, too. A shame she kept it under those baggy jumpsuits all the time. “Shiny.”

The End

*Squizzy= future form of ‘exquisite”. Don’t look at me like that until you try saying it a few times out loud. Squizzy squizzy squizzy…