She could hear chirrups in the midnight air, the various wildlife and insectlife of the planet screeching out in a harmonious cacophony of sounds and noises. The wood underneath her feet was cold, and as she chided herself for forgetting to put slippers on before she ventured out into the rest of the house, she removed the bottle from the reheater, and clutched it as best she could in her left hand. It was beautifully warm, she mused, as she let some of the milk leak out of the teet onto the back of her other hand, and, clutching the baby close to her chest, she directed the teet into the childs' open mouth, a soft smile beginning to play at her scarred and marred lips. The summation of all of her desires rested in her arms, sucking heartilly on the bottle desperately, as if the bottle could be taken away at any moment. Yet she was not so cruel as to do that, and watching the babe smile around the teet she felt a grin begin to spread across her face, a warm feeling inside her chest making her feel almost giddy in the otherwise bleak night.

She flicked her head a little bit, the movement flinging her light brown hair out of her face so she could better look upon the child with hazel, expectant eyes. The babe was soft- so soft, it almost shocked her as her calloused fingertips touched the skin. It was almost like velvet, and often reminded her, sickly, of her lovers inner walls, walls that she loved to probe, not with just fingers, but tongue, too. She was told she was very good at it, told that it made her lover feel beautiful, loved, gorgeous and extravagant, over the moon. Somehow, the degraded and dejected feeling slipped into her mind at that point, reminding her of her past, reminding her of why she had gotten so good at pleasing another woman.

Shuddering slightly at the unwanted thoughts and memories, Kaywinnet Lee Frye moved through the dimly lit room towards one of the comfortable sofas, one that would be comfortable enough to sit on while she nursed the small child in her arms, as she knew she would be there for quite a long time. As she sat, her hazel eyes never left her beautiful one, and with a soft sigh she nuzzled the childs' forehead with her own.

“Ah, my little one,” She whispered, “You're beautiful, aren't you? I'm amazed you came from my genes, you're so gorgeous. Not like me at all, but I'm grateful for that, at least. I never want you to be like me, or have to ever go through what I did.” She pressed her nose to the babys' scalp, careful to not press too hard on the soft flesh, but enough to get the entire baby smell up into her nostrils. She never had been an obsessive person before, except with the possibility of engines and strawberries, and yet, now, over every little thing would she obsess. The order of the coffee and the tea in the cupboard, the way in which the morning went. Everything had to be in a decisive, concise order. Any deviation and there was the chance something would go wrong, something might happen to her, to her lover, or, even worse, to her little one. Just at the thought she clutched the baby closer, vowing then and there to never let the 'verse ever try and toy with her, to make her a plaything for the 'verses amusement. That thought angered her to no end, the sick emotion rising up her esophegous like a snake, ready to strike.

It was so strange to her that they now lived in peace. The concept of it was so alien to her it almost scared her. Yet, she wouldn't have it any other way, not with this baby in her arms. She'd have given up being on a ship for this baby, seeing as a ship, out in the black is hardly an environment in which to raise a child. And on a ship, there were so many dangers, so many things that could possibly go wrong that could endanger her child, so many things that could have that did go wrong. But, even thinking back on what happened, back on Serenity, even as deep inside she wished that those events never happened, Kaylee found she could not wish the little baby in her arms out of existance. She found that she'd go through all of that again, do what she had to do before again and again just so she could get to this moment, holding her child, nursing it, making her grow strong. Almost as if she knew her mothers' thoughts, the baby wrapped a tiny, pudgy hand around one of her mothers' tiny scarred fingers, the touch reassuring her of the innocence and love of the babe.

“Hey, little girl..” She crooned, watching in delight as the baby opened her eyes, the light blue orbs that would soon turn brown or hazel gleaming mischeviously in the dull midnight light. “What are you doin' with my finger, huh? You're gonna grow up to be as big and strong as your mumma, one day, no doubt about it. I can feel it in that grip o' yours.” The baby coughed, and grizzled, a smile forming around the teet. Kaylee gently pulled the bottle away from the babys' lips and lifted the baby up to her shoulder, gently rubbing the girls' back, watching as the girl herself propped herself up on her arms.

“Hey.. what are you doin' there?” Kaylee whispered. “You lookin' for your mumma? She's just down the hall, shh, be quiet, she might hear us, alright?” She winced as the baby girl let out a rather loud burp, and shook her head as she felt and heard the girls' bowels work. “Oh dear, look at you. You burp and give mumma Kaylee a birthday present. It isn't even my birthday yet.” She listened as the baby giggled and grizzled, her nose scrunching up in delight at her mothers' mock distress. Kaylee grinned, put the bottle down and lifted the baby up, blowing a raspberry on her stomach before planting a kiss on her impeccably soft cheeks, one on both. “Let's get you out of those diapers, hmm? Let's clean you up before you stink the place out, hmm, stinky?” The baby giggled even more at her mothers' crooning, and delighted, Kaylee moved from the living room, hissing as the wood leeched all warmth out of her feet as she padded on down the hall with her little girl thrown over her shoulder towards the babys' room.

She was halfway through cleaning the babys' bottom when her lover murmured from the door. “She's beautiful, isn't she?” Kaylee glanced back out of the corner of her eye to the door, and scrutinized her lover for a few moments. Her lover was tall, taller than her, her face set in stone framed by a brilliant brown almost black halo. The mane of hair was dead straight, short, cut at the shoulders, and often pulled up into buns and ponytails while the woman worked in the garden. Yet, now it was down, brushing her tanned collar bone and shoulder, enticing her to touch the smooth flesh. The woman standing at the door smiled gently, no scars marring her perfect face- unlike hers-, framing two deep, brown glimmering eyes.

“Yeah, she is. She's your girl, alright.” Kaylee replied, turning back to cleaning the child who drooled over her own fingers, grinning up at the cows and tigers and bears that had been painted on the roof, perhaps seeing them not as cows and tigers and bears but extremely colourful blobs that excited her.

“She's yours too, you know,” her lover said, wrapping her thin yet muscled arms around Kaylee's stomach, lacing her fingertips together over Kaylee's tortured core. “Just because I gave birth to her doesn't mean you didn't contribute. She's ours. Simon did good, helping us, don't you think? Who would have thought you could make sperm from skin cells? She's got your nose, I reckon. Cute..” She brushed Kaylee's hair away and kissed gently at the base of her neck. “Adorable..” She moved the kiss slightly higher. “And I can't wait for it to be smeared with engine grease.” Kaylee allowed herself a small smile, and, as she finished wiping her daughters' bottom, she twisted to face her lover, planting a quick, chaste kiss on her lips.

“You want our daughter playin' with engines?”

“Why not? It's how I met you, after all. And she probably has that gift, passed down from you.” The dark haired woman bent lower to kiss her, deeper this time. “We'll see when she grows up.. For now, finish up and come back to bed. I've got something to show you.” She pulled away from Kaylee, a smirk written deeply across her face, and as Kaylee watched her back out the door, she lowered the strap on her night gown to her elbow, lewdly.

“You minx,” Kaylee muttered, before shaking her head and turning back to the babe, fixing her with a new nappy and fixing her mini-jumpsuit so it covered her again. All the while the child looked up at her mother with an odd smile on her face, silent, even as cold fingers touched her smooth warm skin. “Oh, not you too. I swear, everyone in this house is out to get me.” She chuckled briefly, before settling the child back into the cot, rocking it gently. “Go to sleep now, grizzle-bum. And I'll see you in the mornin', okay?” Almost as if she had flicked a switch within an engine, perhaps even in Serenity's engine housing, the child fell asleep, a thumb stuck in her mouth, her tiny lips moving slowly as she sucked at the extremity.

Kaylee gently smiled, before glancing at the door, back out to the hall where her wife had departed, through the door opposite, possibly waiting, tanned skin naked in the moonlight on satin sheets. Kaylee sighed, wiping her hands on her shirt. She always wore the same to bed- a shirt and underpants. And when it got too cold, like this night was, she'd wear shorts or pants, depending on how cold it was. She lowered her hands and hitched her thumbs in her shorts, digging her thumbs into her underwear as she slowly moved through to their bedroom, where, sure enough, on the ground lay her lovers' nightgown. Lifting her head she gazed at her wifes' naked form prone on the bed, and felt in that moment to thank every God she ever knew for delivering that woman to her, her eyes gracing the beautifully smoothed curves of the womans body, before being overwhelmed with the desire to run her calloused fingers across that silky skin.

Yet, as they lay together after their union, panting, limbs tangled, Kaywinnet Lee Frye could not help but look back on her life with mixed feelings of disappointment and saddness. Granted, it had been three years since she had been freed, rescued, whatever it was, but she still could not come to terms with the events that transpired after Miranda. Those days would haunt her for the rest of her and her partners' life. But, snuggling up closer to her partner, Kaylee reckoned she would be safe from now on. No more crying. No more hiding, and definitely no more wishing to die. Not when she had her lover and her baby.

Not when she had so much to live for now. Not when she had baby River to care for. And, musing back on those days of horror, she found she would never trade them for an instant for something else. Not when she had the most beautiful woman in the entire 'verse wrapping her arms around her, cradling her, soothing her like only a lover can. Not when she had a baby, their baby to care for. She raised a hand and gazed at the scars that marred her hands, the scars that spoke of a hundred thousand tears, a near constant flow in the torrential darkness of her past life. A life of how many unspeakable torments, she couldn't remember. At that point she was just a sacrifice, a pawn, and her family either could not or didn't want to save her. She would never forgive them for that slight, and it took her an outrageous ammount of self-control not to throw punches at Simon while he helped them both have River. Even then, though, Simon managed to maintain an air of what she used to call 'doctorial authority'.. but, perhaps with her new eyes she could see the pity and the sadness in those blue orbs, see how he looked at the two women.

Both of them weren't the only ones to turn gay on that ship. Since the Miranda Broadcast, the insuing war, and the Declaration, Simon and Mal had both taken a shine to each other. Kaylee almost felt sorry for Mals' wife, who, while she acknowledged that Mal would always love Simon more than he would ever love her, she managed to stay with them, out in the black. But then again, Sonya always did love Serenity, and together she struck up a rather interesting relationship with the ships' new mechanic, a man by the name of Talyn. From what she heard, he was pretty good at taking care of her old baby, who, was now not a baby, but a teenager. And when she had finally gotten back to her, Kaylee found it difficult to manage the rebellious teenager called Serenity, and found that she'd have to leave for a more masculine character to take the reigns. Then again, her hands would never be able to function properlly anyway, not with two of the fingers on the left hand missing.

That ship always confused her, especially when relationships were involved. Mal and Simon were going at it, while Mal still had a wife, who was also rutting the mechanic, who was not only interested in said wife, but very interested, if you understood. And Zoe.. Well. Kaylee hadn't heard from Zoe, even if the ship made weekly broadcasts to their location, telling them of their life, of how the ship was, when they'd drop around, share with them their good fortune. Serenity was no longer a small vessel, working on small things. She was now a small vessel, taking on big heists. The last thing she had stolen came in at about 20 million credits. The crew of Serenity were going to drop by their moon, help them out, and then head out to the rim, giving out food and money to the residents of the derelict moons.

Still.. She hadn't heard from Zoe in years. Last she heard about her life, from Mal as it were, was that she was still a widow, still on her silent vigil. The only moments she'd talk were on the job, threatening death to anyone who dared try to stop their taking of the shiny things, cocking her weapon, a shotgun by the name of Carrie, which she would have called her child if it made it out of the womb. Even when they dropped by, once or so a year, Zoe would not talk to either of them, prefering to stay on the ship, most likely in her bunk, cradeling the shotgun close to her breast as if nursing a baby, and a photo she had developed of Wash.

It wasn't her family anymore. Wrapping her impossibly thin arms around her loved ones' waist, she forced her mind to quieten, telling the natural insomnia and the horrid curse to shut the hell up so she could get some sleep. And, as the sounds of the house, the sounds of the town outside came to a quiet, she smiled gently. The only thing she could now hear was her partners' breathing, and the reassuring flow of consciousness from the room opposite theirs across the hall. She hadn't told her partner, but little River was just like her namesake. But she'd never be made crazy. Never be forced into what she didn't want to be. And she'd never tell her how she knew. For as long as she lived, that would be her little secret.

And not even Atherton Wing could take that away from her.

---

Good Morning, Blue Sun Room. My name is Saraii, as you can see. Just call me S, if you want, or as others around me do, 'Xan'. I'm fairly new to writing, but I've been working as hard as I can to make this first fic the best I possibly can. Yes, the first chapter is set in the future. I'm using the technique of prolepsis, and I am saying this to you now to avoid any possible confusion. Please rate and review, they both make my day and provide me with constructive criticism and your viewpoints on whats happening that very well could truly help with what I'm doing.