Title: What Mal Knows Author: GoddessofBirth Pairing: Rayne, implied Sylee, Minara Rating: PG Disclaimer: Blah, Blah, don't own, Blah, Blah

A/N: Follows directly after Transmutations

It was official, you were in a piss poor mood an' it was gettin' poorer all the time. It weren't so much that you'd gotten shot – gettin' shot by Patience was somethin' fairly to be expected these days. It weren't even the fact that due to said shootin' you'd had to abandon half your payload in the rush for the ship. No, it was the resulting gorram infection that had you stuck, hooked up to gorram tubes in the gorram infirmary.

'Course, there might be some as would say it was your own damn fault, bein' as you didn't come to the Doc at the first sign of red, puffy flesh, preferin' instead to tough it out. Some might also point out that beyond just delayin' the inevitable, it'd taken you three days plus a threat from a specific individual detailin' the withholdin' of certain...favors 'fore you'd turned up to see the Doc. Some's name might start with an I and end with an A, but you wasn't one to point fingers. But, whether through Patience's fault or your own, what should have been a fairly minor infection requirin' five minutes of treatment had turned into a right nasty situation resultin' in said infirmary layover.

In the past, it would have just been an annoyance. A major one, but still an annoyance. But that was before you'd been spoiled by soft hands and silky hair and warm breath 'gainst your cheek while you slept. Inara'd kept by you, even slept on a cot all worried like, and that did comfort you a mighty lot, but it weren't the same. Not the same as lyin' with her all curled up into you. Not the same as her hands strokin' your forehead when you woke shakin' from nightmares – nightmares that used to be just of the war, but now starred men driven mad by the Pax.

Not too long ago, you'd 'a been powerfully uncomfortable with the notion that you'd come to depend on someone as much as you needed Inara, been like to have pushed them away while runnin' as far as possible in the other direction. The war'd taught you that lesson, taught you the risk a dependin' on somebody too much, 'bout it makin' you weak and defenseless and open to attack. Then you'd learned a bigger lesson on Mr. Universe's moon, one involving sacrifice and need and the realization that it might possibly be more painful to lose without havin' than with. And that one had completely overwritten the previous. Fact of the matter, if Present Mal could have a talk with Past Mal, you'd kick his pi gu from here to Londinium for waitin' so long to ante up with 'Nara.

Simon is over at the counter, makin' notations in your chart and tellin' you you'll be out by tomorrow, but you can tell his mind ain't really on you. You hear a noise outside the infirmary and brighten, thinkin' 'Nara's back with coffee, and then your mood hits the deck again when Kaylee comes bouncin' in, lookin' kind a like one a those bobble headed Geisha dolls on drugs.

You groan. “Kaylee, tell me you ain't here for any 'special time' with Simon – I don't think I can handle it on an empty stomach.”

She grins, unrepentant. “It's not like we do it 24/7, Cap'n – after all we gotta at least eat to keep up our strength.”

You think it's a measure of how much Simon has unbent since first steppin' foot on your boat that he don't even blush at her innuendo, just gives her a wink as she sidles up to his side.

“So...,” you prompt her, before she gets distracted, 'spite what she said.

“Oh, I ran 'cross 'Nara while I was headin' to the mess. It was real funny, too. She was kinda just wonderin' round, just 'bout ran into me. Anyway, she said Jayne wanted us to meet up here. Somethin' about some kind a announcement? Not real sure, she was kinda mumblin'.”

Simon groans and you think you hear him whisper somethin' like 'wait one more day...bad timing.' but you're not real sure. Then he's diggin' 'round in one of his drawers an' pullin' out a vial and a syringe.

“Uh, Doc, thought we'd already gotten the antibiotics out a the way?” He sticks the needle in the vial and pulls the plunger back.

“I thought you might appreciate a smoother for the pain.”

“S'okay, Doc, I ain't really in that much pain anymore, and 'sides, if Jayne's makin' announcements, I'd better have all my wits about me.” Simon nods, clearly disappointed, but doesn't put the needle up, just lays it on the counter.

Your mood blackens further when you refocus on the fact that Jayne is up to somethin.' Ta shi suoyou diyu de biaozi de ma. 'Course, Jayne could be wantin' to talk on all kinds of things, but seein' how your day was goin', you were thinkin' it was probably somethin' along the lines of him finally decidin' to take over the ship. Probably had gotten Zoe in on the mutiny, too.

Then, the woman in question enters the infirmary.

“Sir, you know what this is about?” Her eyes stare at you, flat and lifeless. She's always been stoic, but you hate the death look about her. She still performs with the same ruthless efficiency, but it's like Zoe ain't in there no more. River'd told you a few months back that she was gettin' better, but as yet you hadn't seen any evidence of the fact.

“Nope, I'm flyin' blind as you are.” She stalks over to a chair and sits, staring sightlessly at the ceiling.

Finally, finally 'Nara shows up, carryin' the long awaited coffee. But you realize she don't look quite right. In fact, she looks kinda like she just saw a purple belly dancin' to the Browncoat Waltz. Or someone just told her she'd eaten a puppy. Yeah, one a those two.

''Nara? What's goin' on?'” She looks confused and then focuses on you.

'I'm not...sure?' She walks over to you and hands you the mug.

“Uh, 'Nara?” You turn the coffee cup upside down to show it was missing the actual 'coffee' ingredient.

She looks at you blankly for a minute “Oh...I must have...drank it?” Now you were really feeling an uncomfortableness. Inara never drank coffee, just that wiles assistin' tea go se.

''Nara? You okay?” She glances around the room like she was trying to figure out exactly where she was.

“I don't know?” And then there was that, the mightily creepifyin' way she was speakin' in nothin' but questions. Your mood drops further. You were gonna be all manner of mad at Jayne if he'd broke Inara.

And then the man of the hour strolls in, hair wet, like he just got done showerin' A second later River comes in, lookin' kinda shower fresh, too. Huh.

You scowl at Jayne “Alright, Jayne, you got us all here. You mind gettin' it over with so's my crew can get back to doin' crewlike things?”

You see Jayne throw River a look that seems for all the world to say 'You wanna handle this?' and then River stare at Jayne as if to reply 'You may carry on.' Jayne opens his mouth, stops and then closes it again. A second passes and then he takes a deep breath, 'I - ,' but again he stops. Then, just like that, it looks like a wave of calm just rolls right over the man. A corner of his mouth crooks up and without looking he holds a hand out toward River. Showing no hesitation, she steps over and places her hand in his.

The other side of Jayne's mouth turns up and he says all calm like, “River's movin' inta my bunk.”

Inara collapses heavily on the floor. “Oh, thank Buddha, I'm not going mad.”

Kaylee's the first one to recover.

“Ooohhh!” she squeals “This why you been off the trim the last while, ain't it?” If it'd been anybody but Jayne Cobb standin' there, you would a sworn the big man blushes.

Jayne rubs his free hand across the back of his neck. “Naw. I mean, she had somethin' ta do with it, o'viously, but we wasn't together then or nothin.”

River nods. “He needed to know his heart.”

Jayne pulls her to him and bends down to growl something into her hair too low for anyone else in the room to make out. The look she turns on him is so intimate that you feel like you're intrudin' and maybe should look somewhere else.

Predictably, Kaylee starts bouncing up and down on her heels and then claps her hands together. “This is just shiny!” ('Course, Kaylee'd probably think it was shiny if the compression coil and the catalydic converter started ruttin', too.)

Suddenly, Kaylee freezes and casts an uncertain look in Simon's direction, probably just realizin' that her sweetie might not think this new development was nearly as excitin' as she did. Zoe apparently realizes at about the same time as you do that Simon is lookin' distinctly unsurprised.

Zoe speaks, her words hard and clipped, “Doc, you know 'bout this?”

Simon looks at her warily “Ah...yes. Just since last night.”

“And you ain't got a problem with it?”

Simon fiddles with the syringe again and seems to be about to launch into a planned speech but then opts for a simple “No.”

“No?” Zoe repeats disbelievingly. You think this is the most emotion you've seen her show since Wash's death.

Simon sighs. “Jayne? Do you love River?”

If you'd hoped the direct question would catch Jayne off guard and make him fumble, you're disappointed. He just answers soft as you've ever heard him speak, “Always.”

“And River?” She smiles brightly at Simon. “As long as pi continues.” You're kinda lost as to her meaning, but it seems to satisfy Simon. He looks at Zoe and says firmly, “Then, no.”

Everyone stares at everyone else for a long minute and then altogether seem to realize you haven't weighed in.

“Sir?” Zoe looks at you “You have something you'd like to contribute?”

River is staring at you now, a bemused expression landing on her face.

“Yeah, I think I do.” You put your hands behind your head and lean back. Then you grin.

“I was wonderin' if you two were ever gonna tell the rest of us, or if you were plannin' on sneakin' around forever like two-” You almost say two teenagers but you remember at the last minute that River is, technically, still in her teens, so you finish lamely, “-two sneaky people.”

'Course, you realize after you say it, that no one was payin' attention to your cleverness anyhow, all of 'em too busy starin' at you like you'd just sprouted a few extra heads. Jayne recovers first.

“You knew, Mal?”

You roll your eyes, “Of course. I'm the Captain. I know everything that happens on my boat.” Someone snorts, but you can't whip your head around fast enough to catch it.

“Seriously, people, how is it that no one else didn't know. How many times do you think those two need to 'target practice,'” you make air quotes, “when we hit planetside?” Everyone looks at you blankly. “Or ammo shop? We got enough gorram ammo to storm an Alliance Military base. And really, did it not strike anyone else as suspicious that Jayne goes to workout at the same time the 'tross just has to recalculate our flight trajectory? Did you all think it was coincidence? Nobody? Really? Well, no wonder we get shot up so much, the amount of things this crew misses.”

Jayne whispers something to River.

“What was that?”

He looks at you, “I said the reason we keep getting shot up is cause you won't leave the plannin' ta those who can actually plan.” You narrow your eyes at him, but before you can defend your awesome plannin' skills Zoe breaks in.

“Sir, I'm wondering, if you knew what Jayne was up to, why you didn't put a stop to it?”

You grin. “You mean 'sides it bein' funnier than spit watchin' the two a them try to scatter like bugs ev'rytime I walked in on 'em? Well, I really ain't got no leg to stand on as far as the 'no romancin' crew' rule, do I? 'Sides, River's goin' on 20 now, means she's legal on every planet from Core to Rim. So, really it ain't any of my business.'

“Sir, I'm not really questioning why you'd let a relationship be on this boat. I'm asking why you ignored this one.”

You suddenly realize Zoe don't think this is nearly as amusin' as you do, and notice the other crew eyin' her warily. You sober instantly.

“You mean why am I letting our money lovin' merc carry on behind ev'rybody's back with our barely legal, sort of sane, highly trained assassin?” you ask quietly.

She nods, tight lipped. 'That'd be the one.'

“First off, Jayne ain't a merc. He's crew.” You look hard at Zoe to make sure she understands 'xactly what you're sayin'. “Secondly, after Miranda...Zo...I know you've been shut up, maybe haven't had time to see...” You stop suddenly and change what you were sayin'.

“Zo, take a look at all of us. Don't none of us seem so obvious at first glance. Kaylee and Simon...wouldn't nobody from Core to Rim understand why a gifted Osiris surgeon would ever take up with a Rim Rat.” You take a glance at Kaylee to make sure she ain't takin' offense, but she's noddin', understanding what you mean.

“And me and 'Nara...An Alliance loyal Companion holdin' hands with a mean ole browncoat...that shouldn't be happenin' anywhere in the 'verse, but it does.” You look over at 'Nara and give her a wink.

“And out of all of us, Zoe, you outta be the one to understand most what it means to be in a relationship that don't make no lick of sense from the outside but makes perfect sense from the inside. Just cause ya can't comprehend, don't make it not true. After what happened to Wash -” You choke on his name, realizing none of you have said it out loud much.

You start again “After what happened to Wash, I regret more'n anything the time you lost 'cause I was being a hun dan 'bout you two. I ain't plannin' on havin' any more regrettin' over River and Jayne just 'cause they might be kinda creepifyin.'”

You look steadily at Zoe, hopin' there won't be any more anger brought to Serenity. She looks back at you for a minute an' then her mouth turns up into the tiniest of tiny smiles, but bigger than anything any of the crew'd seen on her in a long while.

“Reckon I do understand, Sir. Best be gettin' breakfast goin'.” She turns her head the slightest bit to show that baby smile to Jayne and then walks out the door.

River walks up to you and kisses you on the forehead. She says to Jayne “Captain has assimilated, too.” You have no idea what she means, but figure Jayne must, cause he grunts in agreement.

Jayne turns to Simon “Guessin' we can skip the drugs, Doc.” Simon gives a little nod and opening a drawer, picks up the syringe off the counter and sets it inside. You feel a suspicion rise up.

“Doc – you wasn't plannin' on dopin' me was you?” Simon jumps guiltily and rubs his ear. Good Gorram hell, that boy was plannin' on druggin' you to keep you all sedate like for his little mei-mei's 'revelation.' Simon continually surprises you with the amount a balls he displays.

“After I get outta this bed, you an' I are gonna have a little talk about respectin' the captain, dong ma?”

“Wu dong, Captain,” and then he grins as he claims Kaylee's hand and moves out towards the mess. You're startin' to think your crew ain't as scared of you as they should be. Might be time to impress upon them the fact of your captainyness. At that thought River looks at you and rolls her eyes and then walks out, draggin' a smirkin' Jayne with her. Yep, definitely time for some captainy maneuvers.

You suddenly realize everyone'd left, 'cept 'Nara. You look over at her and find her starin' at you like you just performed some Thrillin' Heroics. She walks until she's standin' right at your side and your mouth goes dry and your knees get weak and you think it's a good thing you're already sittin' down.

“Just when I think you can't surprise me anymore, Captain Reynolds.” She kisses you softly. You slide over slightly and she carefully lays next to you, puttin' her head on your chest. You use one arm to pull her tight against you and lean your head back. Yep, it's gonna be a good day.