Title: Faded Angel Author: AlsoKnownAs Rating: PG 13 ish Description: Jayne and Kaylee’s joy causes Jayne to question himself when fate intervenes. A/N: Be advised that this is very angsty and there is character death within.

xxxxx

Wasn’t a soul on Serenity who rightly understood why Kaylee and Jayne had gotten together. The way Mal told it, there wouldn’t be a soul in the ‘verse who’d be able to make sense of it. Jayne had been a little reluctant at first; confused was an even better word for it. It hadn’t worried Kaylee none though; that was the way she felt and everyone had just best get used to it. Simon had taken it the hardest even though he and Kaylee hadn’t been in the romantical way for near a year. It hadn’t seemed real until they’d decided to share a bunk. There was much protesting from Mal, but one threat to leave from Kaylee and the captain made with the lip biting.

Jayne had moved into Kaylee’s bunk rather than the other way round. Kaylee had told him it was because her bunk was closer to the beating heart of her baby. He still suspected it was because she hadn’t wanted to try and get the smell out of the bed. Their relationship was all sweaty and heavy for the first month or so, but eventually it came to a point when they were an actual couple. Jayne had never really experienced that before. It shocked him some, truth be told, but what shocked him even more was Mal announcing he was alright with the whole arrangement as long as they both tended to their duties aboard the boat. They even shared some special, romantical type moments together. Jayne knew full well it wasn’t like him but Kaylee bought out the best in his heart.

One night they were docked on a moon Jayne didn’t even know the name of. They’d finished the job and Mal had granted the crew a little down time. Jayne and Kaylee were sitting together watching the stars. Stars weren’t something Jayne ever really looked at until he found love with Kaylee.

“Promise me something?” Kaylee asked him.

“Anythin’ you want.” Jayne told her.

She laced her fingers through his.

“Promise me that we’ll always be like this.” she said.

Jayne turned to her. He put his arm around her and pointed to the moon that sat big and pale in the night sky.

“See that there moon?” he asked her. She nodded. “Well, when that there moon falls right on outta the sky, that’s when we won’t be like this. Till then y’got me for always.”

Kaylee took his face in her hands and rested her forehead on his and he knew he’d done good. It all went on as normal as things could until one fateful day.

xxxxx

Kaylee had been feeling a little sick each morning for about a week. She didn’t know why but she suspected she might be pregnant. She told Jayne while they were loading the mule for a job.

“I ought go see Simon for a test.” she stated.

“You doin’ o.k.?” he asked her.

“Sure I am, silly.” she assured him. “Just might be in the family way is all.”

“Well, that’s good then.” Jayne said absently and started to walk away. Then he stopped and turned to face her. “Wait a minute...are you…?”

Kaylee nodded and a smile spread across her face. She wasn’t sure how Jayne was going to take it; she didn’t even really know how she felt about it.

“I think I might be…” she told him.

Jayne lifted Kaylee up and spun her around. He was elated. Kaylee told him she wasn’t sure but he didn’t care. He was just totally over the moon. Simon gave her a test, frowning the entire time.

It was positive.

xxxxx

At the six-month mark, Kaylee was showing quite a bit. One morning, she got up and looked in the mirror.

She asked Jayne, “Honey, I’m fat ain’t I?”

Jayne sat up in the bed.

“You’re havin’ yourself a youngin’, Y’ain’t fat.” he told her.

Kaylee turned to him and accused him of trying to make her feel better. He got out of the bed and walked over to her.

“Kaylee-girl, of course I want you to feel better. I love you. But you ain’t fat. You’re havin’ a baby. My baby. You’re sexier than ever.” he said.

Kaylee took Jayne’s face in her hands and deeply kissed him.

“I love you, Jayne, more than anything, but you’re full of shit.” she told him.

She kissed his forehead and went into the bathroom. Jayne watched her and shook his head,

“Gotta love those mood swings…”

While Kaylee was in the bathroom, Jayne started getting changed. Then he heard her scream. He raced to the bathroom.

“Kaylee! What’s wrong?!” he called.

He found her standing with her hairbrush in her hand. Her hair was a mess.

“I hate my hair. I’m going to set it on fire now…” she told him.

Jayne rolled his eyes and went back into the bedroom. A minute later he heard another scream.

“More hair trouble?” he asked. She didn’t answer. He walked into the bathroom. “Kaylee?” he asked, as he walked inside. He found Kaylee unconscious on the floor. She was bleeding. “Kaylee!” He knelt down with her and lifted her head onto his lap. “Kaylee! Wake up, come on, give me somethin’ here!” Jayne begged. He couldn’t wake her. He grabbed a towel, rolled it up, and gently put it under her head.

Jayne bolted to the entrance of their bunk and shouted loud as he’d ever shouted before.

“Anyone there?!”

Mal’s head popped out from his own bunk.

“What’s all the racket?” the captain asked, still half asleep.

What Jayne said next woke him up right quick.

“Fetch Simon! Kaylee’s havin’ trouble with the baby!”

Jayne disappeared again and Mal was halfway down the corridor, headin’ for the infirmary.

Back in their quarters, Jayne stroked Kaylee’s face with his hand.

“Please, Kaylee-girl. Please wake up.”

Kaylee was unconscious for nearly two minutes. Then she stirred. Jayne kissed her forehead gently and brushed the hair from her eyes.

“Jayne...” Kaylee sighed, then she realised something was wrong, “Jayne, I’m bleeding!”

She was frantic as Jayne stopped her from getting up.

“Just stay there. Simon’s on his way. Mal’s gone to get ‘im.” he told her. “It’s gonna be alright.”

“How do you know?” she asked him.

Jayne didn’t know. He wasn’t a smart man; he didn’t know much at all. But nobody could know if this would be alright. He just prayed that it would be.

xxxxx

Simon was taking much longer than Jayne had expected him to. He was about to go to the infirmary and drag him to the bunk when suddenly, Kaylee grabbed at her stomach and cried out in pain.

“Oh God! Something is really wrong!” she cried.

Jayne didn’t know what to do.

Then his heart came up into his throat as Kaylee told him, “The baby’s coming, Jayne! I think I’m having the baby!”

She looked into his eyes and his terror and confusion amplified as he saw hers. Then, finally, Simon arrived. With the help of Mal and Jayne, he got Kaylee to the infirmary as quickly as possible. Jayne was really worried now. The doc was a book-schooled fella. He looked concerned and if someone with the learning smarts of Simon was worried about Kaylee, then something was awful wrong.

Kaylee started hyperventilating. She was panic-stricken. She wouldn’t even let Simon put an oxygen mask on her. She held Jayne’s hand and the fear in her eyes broke his heart. Simon insisted that Kaylee put the oxygen mask on. Kaylee refused again and Jayne didn’t know what to do. He was supposed to be Kaylee’s man and he was frozen. He couldn’t think straight. If ever there had been a time that he was glad to have Mal around, now was it. Mal took the mask from Simon. He put it over Kaylee’s face and she tried to remove it.

“Kaylee, stop it. You gotta to wear this. Gonna make y’feel better. Now you just try to stay calm. I know it hurts and I know you’re scared. But I’m here. I promise I won’t go anywhere.” Mal told her.

Kaylee squeezed her captain’s hand. Jayne felt a little jealous but he felt more useless than he’d ever felt. Should have been him calming her down. Not Mal. Simon thoroughly examined Kaylee and Jayne was by her side the entire time while Mal watched on. Simon finished the examination and spoke to them both. Kaylee was on oxygen and was a lot calmer than she had been.

“I’m afraid there’s a complication with the baby.” Simon began, “Your womb can’t support any further development. There are two options. I can perform a caesarean section or we can induce labour. Either way, we have to act quickly.”

Kaylee was could hardly speak and Jayne knew he had to step up and speak for the both of them.

“We was hopin’ the kid’d come out natural ‘n’ stuff, doc.”

Simon nodded and told them Kaylee would be induced shortly.

Soon Kaylee was in labour. Jayne wanted to take all the pain and fear away for her. She was scared and already hurting, but now, with the labour she was going through hell. Another contraction came and Kaylee screamed. She squeezed Jayne’s hands and the pain of a gunshot wound paled in comparison to the hand-breaking strength she put into that grip.

The contractions were closer together now. Kaylee was covered in sweat and exhausted. Jayne was scared, and that scared him even more. Jayne Cobb didn’t get scared. He was a beast of a man; the only time he knew fear was when he put it into others. He really didn’t know what to do. Neither of them was ready for this.

xxxxx

The contractions were merely minutes apart now. It was time. Jayne held Kaylee’s hand and gave her all the encouragement he could. Soon she was pushing. She screamed in agony.

Jayne said to her, “C’mon, Kaylee. You can do this. You’re doing great!”

“How ‘xactly would you know what this kinda pain’s like, Jayne?” Mal inquired.

Jayne shrugged.

“Got shot in the ass once.”

“This is nothing like that!” Kaylee screamed at him.

Simon delivered their baby without any problems.

“You have a baby girl.” he told them.

It was obvious to anyone who took the time to look that Simon full well wished that the little girl was his and not Jayne’s. No one could blame him but the ‘verse had ways of changing things in a way that no one ever picked; never saw it coming, one way or another.

Kaylee was exhausted but she was also very excited.

“We’ve got a little girl, Jayne. A daughter.” she said.

“She’s a screamer, same as you.” Jayne said, embarrassing Kaylee.

Jayne smiled at Kaylee and kissed her. Simon examined the little girl further and made the decision to put the baby to an incubator. Kaylee’s maternal instinct kicked in.

“Simon? What are you doing with my daughter?” she demanded.

Simon calmed Kaylee down. He told Kaylee and Jayne that their daughter was far too small and needed to be incubated.

“It’s normal for all premature babies. She’s perfectly healthy, just not fully developed.”

Kaylee buried her face in Jayne’s chest and cried. All she wanted to do was hold her daughter. Even for just a minute.

“She’s so tiny. She’s probably so scared without me. She needs me, Jayne. She needs us.” Kaylee sobbed.

Jayne felt the same way. They should be with their daughter.

“She’s in good hands. Simon’ll take good care o’ her. We’ll see her soon. Now…” he said trying to be cheerful, “Let’s choose a name for our baby girl.”

xxxxx

Simon came back to the quarters where he had told Kaylee to rest a few hours later. Kaylee would have jumped right on him if she had been able to move quick enough.

“Have you given your daughter a name yet?” he asked, trying to be genuinely happy for the two people he never thought he’d see together.

Jayne nodded and answered proudly, “Becky Hope.”

The doctor smiled.

“You can see her now.”

Kaylee and Jayne weren’t prepared for what they saw when they walked into the makeshift ICU Simon had set up in case of this very situation. Jayne was glad Mal had agreed to stop by Ariel and pick up the needed equipment. He hadn’t expected there to be these kinds of troubles, but now that there were, he was happy the doctor was prepared.

Becky Hope was surrounded by machines, all of them beeping and buzzing. She had a tube in her tiny nose and two pads hooked up to a heart monitor covered her little chest. Her arm was splinted with an intravenous drip. She looked so fragile. Kaylee walked over to her. Tears rolled down her face.

“Oh, Jayne, look at her. What has he done to her?” she asked him.

Jayne put his arm around Kaylee. He fought back tears. The sight of his daughter laying there with all that medical equipment on her just destroyed him. He was the toughest son of a bitch in the ‘verse, but no man could be tough when faced with this. Kaylee put her hand in the incubator and touched Becky.

She looked at her daughter and said to Jayne, “She’s so soft. She’s beautiful. My beautiful, tiny Becky.”

Jayne kissed Kaylee’s cheek and watched her with Becky. She was the most perfect mother in the world.

xxxxx

Kaylee didn’t want to leave Becky, but Simon wanted her to rest. It killed Jayne to have to take Kaylee out of the ICU. He didn’t want to leave either. What he wanted to do was bitchslap Simon to the Outer Rim.

That night Kaylee didn’t sleep. Jayne didn’t sleep either. Kaylee stirred all night and didn’t stop crying. Jayne rocked her in his arms and cried with her. He loved her so much and whenever she cried his heart broke.

The next morning Kaylee was with Becky as soon as she woke up. She had her hand in the incubator gently stroking her daughter’s stomach. Becky moved a little and Kaylee smiled. Jayne was sleeping. He’d rocked her to sleep last night and stayed awake to make sure she was alright. So when she woke and he was so tired, she told him to rest. Kaylee never really understood it when her mama had told her that mother’s have a sixth sense when it comes to their children. But now she knew. Sitting there with her daughter, praying for the little girl to get through, she knew. Kaylee moved her hand to Becky’s arm and her tiny hand gripped her finger. It wasn’t a very tight grip but it was a touch between mother and daughter. It was a feeling Kaylee would treasure forever.

Kaylee’s voice was shaky but she wanted Becky to hear it. She spoke to her daughter as Jayne entered the room. He sat silently and listened to her.

“Becky, I’m your Momma. I know you’re only tiny now, but sweetie, I promise you’re going to get big and strong. Momma and Daddy are gonna be here when you wake up. You’re gonna get big ‘n’ strong real soon, y’hear?” Kaylee faltered but she fought back the tears. She was determined she’d finish before she broke down. She continued, “You surprised us, Becky. You arrived before we was ready. We’re going to protect you sweetie, but you’ve got to help us. Give it all you’ve got. Fight Becky. We love you, Daddy and I do. We love you so much...”

With that she broke down and Jayne held her tight. He kept one arm around Kaylee and put the other hand in the incubator. He rested his hand on his daughter’s stomach ever so lightly. She was soft and warm. Totally perfect. Jayne wasn’t one for words, but something told him that he needed to say these words.

“Becky, you’re so beautiful. You’re just like your Momma. You make me so proud. You’re gonna be smarter than me. Gonna have book learnin’ down proper ‘n’ everythin’. Momma and Daddy love you.”

xxxxx

Nine days passed. Becky was eleven days old. Ten days was the first milestone. They had spent every moment they could with Becky. One night they were lying in the bed talking. They were discussing Becky’s future. Her schooling, what she’d like, who she’d most be like. Everyone of the crew loved Becky.

“You’re a wonderful daddy, Jayne.” Kaylee told Jayne. He smiled and Simon caught his attention. It was after midnight, so Kaylee knew something was wrong. Simon told them that Becky’s heartbeat was slowing down.

xxxxx

Jayne and Kaylee sat with Becky. She was hooked up to heart monitors and breathing machines. Simon had submitted her to an hour of tests. It was the most painful hour of their lives. She wasn’t really breathing on her own any more. In a day she had deteriorated rapidly. Kaylee kept her hand in the incubator.

All she kept saying was, “We love you Becky, please don’t leave us.”

Jayne was sitting there with Kaylee on his lap simply staring at his daughter when Simon approached them.

“The results of the latest scans indicate that Becky has no neural response. I’m so sorry.” he told them.

Jayne swallowed hard. He held Kaylee tightly and kept his eyes on his daughter.

“What’s that mean, doc?” he asked.

“It means the machines are keeping her alive. She cannot survive without them. I think it’s best that we turn the machines off.”

Jayne’s blood boiled. He would have sent Simon flying under the power of a fist if not for Kaylee’s uncontrollable crying.

“No…no…no…no…” she whimpered, rocking herself back and forth.

Kaylee started shaking. Jayne wrapped his arms around her and held her as tightly as he could. His mind was a mess. They had become parents quicker than they could have imagined. Not that he even imagined them becoming parents at all. And now, they were going to lose their daughter just as quickly.

xxxxx

After hours of crying and trying to make sense of what was happening, Jayne knew that they had to let their daughter go.

“Kaylee-girl, we have to say goodbye.” he told her.

Kaylee shook her head and pulled away from him. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

She looked at him and said, “No. I’m not giving up. I will not lose Becky, Jayne. I can’t.”

“She’s already gone, Kaylee. You heard what Simon said. She ain’t breathin’ her own self no more.”

Kaylee refused to accept it. She gestured to the incubator.

“She’s alive. Look at her, Jayne, she’s still breathing. Her little chest is moving.” she sobbed.

Jayne’s heart broke for the thousandth time. He loved Kaywinnit Lee Frye. No matter what the odds, she held on to all hope.

Jayne cradled her head in his hands and pulled her close to him.

“It’s the machines. The machines are breathin’ for her. Without ‘em she can’t breathe. We have to let her go. We need to say goodbye and let her go.”

Jayne’s words burned his ears as he said them. He didn’t want to do this. He wanted it all to be a bad dream. But he knew it wasn’t, and Kaylee knew it too. He put his hand in the incubator and touched Becky. His tears blurred his vision and tasted bitter on his tongue as he spoke.

“Becky, little one, I love you. I know you’re one of God’s little angels but why d’y’have to leave now? I don’t know a lot. I’m still learning. Your old man’s pretty dumb when it comes down to it. I just wish I could have taught you what I do know. You’ll always be in my heart and remember, Daddy loves you.”

Jayne hung his head. He didn’t know what else to say. He stroked his daughter gently then let Kaylee say goodbye. Kaylee stood. Her hand was shaking as she touched her daughter. Becky was so warm and soft, Kaylee couldn’t believe she couldn’t breathe on her own. She felt so full of life. She looked at the machines next to the incubator. She then looked at Becky and smiled. She was so proud. Becky had fought as long as she could. Her daughter had given her twelve days; long enough to have many treasured memories. Still, it wasn’t nearly long enough. Kaylee wiped tears from her face, and fresh ones replaced them.

“I’ll always think o’ you, Becky. My heart ‘n’ mind have a special place just for you.” Kaylee swallowed hard, and slightly faltered. “Thank you for comin’ in to our lives, honey. It means so much to be your Momma. I’ll never forget you. I love you so much. I wish you didn’t have to go, Becky. Momma loves you.”

Kaylee kissed the palm of her hand and placed it flat on the window of the incubator nearest to Becky’s head.

At that moment, Simon came back to the ICU he’d set up. He stood near the door, waiting for Kaylee and Jayne to finish saying goodbye. Kaylee still had her hand pressed to the incubator. Jayne stood behind her, put his arms around her and put his chin on her shoulder. She laced her fingers through his as they watched their daughter. Neither of them spoke. Simon approached them. She asked if they had decided to turn the machines off. Kaylee nodded. Jayne looked at the doctor.

“We’re ready. Turn ‘em off” he told him.

Kaylee whispered, ‘”Goodbye my beautiful, tiny Becky.”

The machines were turned off and Kaylee turned and buried her face in Jayne’s shoulder. She was almost screaming, she was crying so hard. Jayne stroked her hair and closed his eyes. Tears flowed freely. It was just the two of them now. Becky Hope had left them.

xxxxx

Mal had docked Serenity on Kaylee’s home planet of Harvest. Kaylee wanted Becky to be buried there. The rest of the crew stayed aboard Serenity while Kaylee and Jayne spent time with Kaylee’s folks. When the day of the little girl’s funeral came, no one spoke much. Kaylee’s father recited passages from the bible and Mal never grimaced through one of them. He even felt proud of Jayne as the burly merc began to say something on behalf of himself and Kaylee.

“Life can’t go on forever, but it should last a lifetime. Our daughter didn’t live for a lifetime, but the joy she brought to our lives is gonna last forever. Becky will live on in our hearts and minds.” Jayne paused and wiped his hand over his face. He sighed deeply and continued, “I’m standin’ here tryin’ to work out why we’re gathered mourning the loss of Becky. Truth is I can’t work it out. That’s because it don’t make no sense. All I do know is that Kaylee ‘n’ me are empty with out her. Goodbye, Becky. Momma and Daddy love you.”

He stood with Kaylee and she kissed his cheek, and then rested her head on his shoulder as Mal lit a rocket in honour of Becky.

xxxxx

A few weeks passed and Kaylee was practically in a daze the whole time. She did what she had to do, moving by habit. She hardly spoke to Jayne. One night he’d had enough. He loved her but she wasn’t dealing and he had to help her. He walked into their bunk as she was getting ready for bed. She didn’t acknowledge him.

“Things’d be a whole lot easier if you talked t’me, Kaylee. We don’t never talk no more. What happened to us?” he asked her.

She looked at him, almost through him, and replied, “What happened? Our daughter died, Jayne, you insensitive ass!”

Jayne took a breath and walked closer to her.

“I know. I was the one what told Simon to turn them machines off. That why you hate me?” he asked.

Kaylee’s eyes widened with shock. She didn’t hate Jayne and she told him so.

“I don't hate you. I never could. I love you so much.” she told him.

If Jayne wanted Kaylee to come to terms with Becky’s death, he had to force her to release her grief and anger.

“I love you too, Kaylee-girl. We can't be lettin’ this tear us apart. We need each other. Get mad, Kaylee. Get mad at me, scream at me, hell, scream at the walls. Don't bottle it up no more. You're hurtin’ and you're angry. Let it all out.” he said.

“Let what out, Jayne?” she asked him.

She rolled her eyes and pulled back the covers on the bed. Jayne sighed. This wouldn’t be easy.

“Where’s Becky, Kaylee? Where’s our daughter?” he demanded. Kaylee begged Jayne to stop it but he couldn’t let up now. No matter how much it killed him. “Just answer me. Where’s Becky?”

It tore him apart to do it, but Jayne knew it was the only way. Kaylee turned to him. Suddenly, she rushed at him, hitting him, pounding his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as she fought him.

She screamed at him, “She died! She died and it’s my fault! It’s all my fault and that’s why you can’t love me like y’used to…”

Kaylee’s knees crumpled beneath her and Jayne stopped her from falling. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t realise that she blamed herself.

“Ain’t your fault. Don’t never think that. And I love you so much. I ain’t blamin’ you. It’s no one’s fault.” Jayne told her.

xxxxx

Months went by and the crew did a few a jobs and Jayne did the mercenary thing. Kaylee kept on keeping Serenity flying and their relationship was improving. They hadn’t fallen apart when their world had. Kaylee even thought they were stronger than ever. Jayne was just happy to have someone like her to love him. And when Kaylee thought she might be having another baby they were both scared as hell but excited at the same time. Simon completed a battery of tests and gave them the results.

“So, we pregnant again, doc?’ Jayne smirked.

He was looking forward to having a little brother or sister for their beloved Becky. Kaylee smiled at him. They’d never forget her and the pain of losing her would never go away, but they both wanted another child.

“I’m afraid not. It’s a growth. From the blood and tissue samples I took, I found it is malignant.” Jayne didn’t understand and asked him what he meant. “It’s a tumour. I’m very sorry.” Simon said.

Kaylee stared at her former love.

“I’m dyin’, ain’t I?” she presumed. “What about treatment or some such?”

Simon put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s too far advanced. The rate of growth is too fast. I’m afraid that treatment is not an option. All it would do is cause discomfort. It’s too late to stop it. I have some treatments that will reduce pain. If we had found it earlier….”

Jayne stood and cut the doctor off.

“Reduce pain?!? Who the hell’re you? What about savin’ her, y’jackass? You’re givin’ up! You ain’t even gonna try!” he yelled.

Kaylee stood and grabbed Jayne. He stopped and looked at her.

Kaylee turned to Simon and asked, “How long’ve I got?”

xxxxx

Jayne’s body went totally numb. He couldn’t hear, he couldn’t think. He tried to speak but no words came out. He screamed inside, but the words didn’t come out. He sat with Kaylee, his hand entwined with hers. She couldn’t breathe. It was as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. Simon had just given them an estimate on how long she had to live.

The words echoed in her head. They were all she could hear.

”Two and a half months.”

Kaylee put her hands over ears. She didn’t want to hear those words ever again. She shook and cried. She wanted to live. She wanted to grow old with Jayne. She wanted to have kids and teach them to keep Serenity flying. She had so many things she hadn’t done. She didn’t want to die.

She could see that Simon’s heart was breaking, same as hers and Jayne’s was. And her heart broke just that little bit more for him.

He told them that Kaylee would deteriorate rapidly. That she had been deteriorating for a long time. It was when he told them that it was possible that the tumour caused the problems in Kaylee’s pregnancy four months ago, that Jayne got mad.

“You tellin’ us that Kaylee had it back then?!?” he demanded to know.

Simon swallowed hard. He could almost feel Jayne’s fist colliding with his head, and he didn’t blame him one bit for being angry,

“I believe so, Jayne. Look, I am so very sorry to have to tell you this tragic news, really I am. If there was anything I could do for Kaylee, I would do it, I promise you.” he told him.

Jayne countered with all the rage he had.

“You could have done your job four months ago and found it then, y’prissy little cuss!” he screamed.

Kaylee jumped to her feet and slapped Jayne’s face. He was stunned and couldn’t even move.

“Stop it, Jayne! Stop it right now! Simon found it! Maybe it ain’t early enough, but he found it! At least we can make the best of the time we have! What if he hadn’t found it at all and I just died? How would you have treated him then? Gorram it, Jayne!”

Kaylee fainted and Jayne and Simon grabbed her as she fell. When she came to for a moment she forgot where she was. Then it hit her. She was dying. The tears flowed freely and she grabbed Jayne and held him close. He held her so tightly; he didn’t want to let her go. He wanted to hold on to her. Keep her safe. Maybe if he held her tightly enough he could keep her here with him.

xxxxx

Back in their quarters, Kaylee and Jayne were trying to come to terms with what was happening to them. Part of Jayne believed that it was the ‘verse conspiring against them. That the death of Becky had been a warning to them to split, that the balance would never be right until they did. They hadn’t heeded the warning and now they were paying for it. Still, Jayne would never let any turn of fate take away the time he’d had with his daughter. And he didn’t regret his decision to love Kaylee; he never would.

“It ain’t fair!!! I don’t wanna die! Who the hell does God think he is?! Why me?!? Why me!?! I hate this! It ain’t fair!” Kaylee screamed.

Jayne ran to her and took her in his arms.

“S’alright.” he whispered.

Kaylee pushed him away rough as she could muster. All of her hurt and anger went into that push and it nearly put him on the other side of the room.

“Bullshit, Jayne! Don’t you dare lie to me! You ‘n’ I both know nothin’s gonna be alright any more! How could you tell me everythin’s alright?! You of all people! How the hell could you do that?!” she shouted.

Jayne dropped to his knees, and told her through tears, “Because I don’t know what else to do… I’m losing you and I don’t know what to do…”

Kaylee’s heart shattered at that moment as she watched Jayne, and she sat on the floor and clung to him.

xxxxx

.

Kaylee hadn’t lasted long after that. Jayne did his best to make her last days special. He’d taken her back to Harvest to see her folks. She’d wanted to be laid to rest near Becky and Jayne had made sure it happened. Jayne couldn’t believe he’d been lucky enough to be in Kaylee’s heart. The brightest sun in the ‘verse had shone on him and warmed his soul and even though fate had extinguished her flame, he still felt her warmth.

He remembered the words he had said to her.

“When that there moon falls right on outta the sky.”

Those words echoed in his head. He promised her that they’d always be like they were. He knew it wasn’t a lie. He thought it would happen. He thought they’d stay that way till the moon fell from the sky. And Jayne thought the moon would never fall, but he was wrong.

The moon fell.