These aren't my characters, this is just a humble fan-fic. We can all thank Joss. Don't sue me for copyright infringement.

Dramatis Personae Captain Elsa Schroeder Pilot / William Malcolm Reynolds Jayne Cobb Zoe Warren Kaylee Frye Simon Tam Inara

“Adrift” Part Two

Captain Elsa Schroeder: (thick German accent) William, Do you believe this Scheiße? The person who does not see God’s hand in this is blind, William. Blind!

Pilot: I don’t...God’s hand...What?

Captain: Do you think that, perhaps, it was an accident that Adalai Niska chose us above all else to transport his cargo? And that we should come across a crippled freighter not an hour into our journey, only to find that it is captained by Malcolm Reynolds, the very man Niska reviles? No, this is more than luck. This is providence.

Pilot: Well, it does seem a tad too coincidental. Could it be that Reynolds’ ship isn’t crippled at all? Maybe he’s laying in wait for us, right in our path, just to steal the cargo? You yourself said they could be pirates, and Reynolds fits the bill.

Captain: Then, if he is planning to steal our cargo, we will invite him on board. He will be too blinded by his greed to sense a trap. We will capture this Malcolm Reynolds and bring him to Niska. We will negotiate the price with Niska later. (soft click) Captain Reynolds, this is Captain Schroeder. Do you need...

*

...(over the radio) assistance with your ship? Is there anything we can do to help? You are welcome to come aboard to discuss your situation after you have assessed your needs.

Mal: Well now, That’s mighty kind of you. I’d be much obliged. When you stop our trajectory, seal onto our starboard hatch. Over. (soft click) Does it seem a might strange to anyone here that this woman is threatening to send us into the atmo one minute and inviting us over for tea the next?

Jayne: It’s a gorramn trap.

Zoe: Jayne’s right, Sir. This whole thing has ambush written all over it. But why?

Mal: The ship! They want my boat. Wouldn’t be the first time some skunk tried to claim it.

Zoe: So what now?

Mal: Plan D, Zoe. Plan D. (soft click) Kaylee? Wash? You there?

Kaylee: (over the intercom) Yes, Cap’n. What’s happening?

Mal: The mark came back and latched on with a magnetic grapple. We are fixing to board her now. Can you fix Serenity?

Kaylee: (over the intercom) We still don’t know what’s wrong, but with some fancy rewiring, I reckon we could get her limping to the next planet and tear her down there.

Mal: How long?

Kaylee: (over the intercom) Fifteen minutes to an hour?

Mal: You and Wash hop to it. (soft click) Shuttle two, this is Serenity. Do you copy?

Simon: (over the radio) Mal? What’s happening?

Mal: I’m scrambling the message now and downloading it to the shuttle’s computer. Over.

Simon: (over the radio) Copy that. Here is comes.

Mal: (soft click) Shuttle one? Do you copy?

Inara: (over the radio) Whoring?

Mal: Never you mind. What are your coordinates?

Inara: I’ll be back to the ship in less than 15 minutes. I had to cut my rendevouz short due to your boorish comment. You owe me some money, an apology, and an explanation.

Mal: We’ll discuss that when you get back. Just hang off from securing the shuttle to Serenity. Stay a good distance off until you hear from one of us. I’ll explain everything later, dong ma?. Over. (soft click) O.k. (claps hands) Here’s the plan. I’ll let them know that we need another mechanic to look at Serenity. When they open the hatch, they’ll probably stream in. So, It will be me and Zoe on the left flank and Jayne and Vera on the right. We’ll catch them in a crossfire.

Jayne: Yeah, It’s been a while since I showed Vera a good time.

Mal: (soft click) Captain Schroeder, This is Captain Reynolds. Do you have a mechanic on board?

Captain: Yes, of course.

Mal: Our jing tzahng mei yong duh mechanic can’t find her pee-gu with both hands. We’re going to need another set of eyes on this one.

Captain: We will open the hatch whenever you’re ready.

Mal: Xie Xie, We’re heading to the hatch now. Over.

Mal: Let’s go. It’s showtime.

(transitional music)

Mal: (in a whisper) How come they ain’t streaming in?

Zoe: (in a whisper) Don’t know.

Mal: Maybe one of us should mosey down and sort of say, “Howdy.”

Zoe: Be careful, Sir.

Mal: Thanks.

(footsteps, followed by the hiss and slide of a door opening, followed by more footsteps on a different sounding floor, followed by A LOT of guns cocking)

Captain: Kapitän Reynolds, Welcome aboard the Bismark.

Mal: Howdy.

End of part two.