Author: EvilEdna Email: EvilEdna42@hotmail.com Rating: PG-13 for some slight cursing Summary: Jayne needs rescuing…..

“Rescue”

“Well, this ain’t good.”

Jayne Cobb looked around his cell and huffed out a sigh, causing his ribs to twinge in a most painful way.

“This ain’t good at all.”

Easing his back against the wall, he slowly slid down it, one hand clapped to his side as he tried to suppress the pain. It had seemed like such an easy job….. Hell, the Captain had even said it would be an easy job. Should’ve tipped him off right there, really.

Finally managing to get his ass to reach the floor, Jayne took stock of his situation. Broken rib, more’n likely, and in a pokey little jail cell. All in all, not one of his better days. Hearing the jangling of keys, he narrowed his eyes and tried to look imposing, which sure wasn’t easy when he was near enough collapsed on the floor.

“Well, Mr Cobb. How are we feeling?” A short guard with a pock-marked face grinned evilly through the bars of the door.

“Ain’t sure how you’re feelin’, but I’ve been better.” Jayne grunted in reply.

“Seems we’ve got us a problem here, Mr Cobb. See, bar-room brawling’s an offence here in Phoenix and, correct me if’n I’m wrong, but that’s exactly what you were doing when we picked you up.”

“Brawling’s a little strong. Weren’t more than a couple punches when all’s said.”

“I’m not here to argue semantics, Mr Cobb. Now, brawling ain’t nothing more than an itty bitty offence mostly, but for some reason I really, really don’t like you. So we’re going to let you sit there for a while and stew, and then maybe we’ll take you to the judge and maybe she’ll decide to let you stew some more. You better get real used to stewin’.”

Jayne peered a little more closely at the guard. He sure did look familiar….

“Say,” he said, “ain’t you the weaselly faced little guy I beat up on last night?”

The smile on the guard’s face faded like the sunset.

“Twin brother. Bet you’re wishin’ you stayed on that boat of yours now.”

“Speakin’ of boats, my captain been in to see what’s what?”

“He did poke his nose in, yep. But for some reason he don’t really want us pokin’ our noses in his business, so he left pretty quick. Maybe if you’re lucky he’ll come back once you’ve been stewed enough.”

With that, the guard turned on his heel and left, jangling his keys and whistling off tune.

Jayne settled further back against the wall and took stock of this development. Jayne wasn’t as stupid as a lot of people liked to think, he just let his temper get the better of him most of the time. And it really had last night. The fact that Mal had left spoke volumes on his predicament.

A soft rattling at the bars made him look up.

“Jayne is a girl’s name, you know.”

“Gorram it! Girl, what the hell are you doin’ here?” Jayne attempted to straighten up too quickly in his shock and jarred his ribs yet again.

River grinned back at him through the bars in that fey way of hers.

“Poor bird, trapped in a cage. Can’t fly when his wings are bound.”

“What you here for?” Jayne asked, suspicious. Nothing the girl did could really surprise him any more, this was just another in a long string of strange occurrences.

“Never leave a man behind. First rule of engagement.” She peered more closely at him through the bars and pursed her lips thoughtfully.

“You sayin’ you’re here to get me out?” He couldn’t quite keep the incredulous tone out of his voice.

“Maybe. If you’re nice.”

“Girl, you better quit playin’”

River giggled, lifting the hem of her faded dress and twirling round. In the distance, Jayne could hear the faint jangling of keys.

“That guard’s coming back, you’d better git.”

River stopped her frenetic dance and cocked her head to the side.

“He’ll be sleeping, soon.” She whispered, finger to her lips.

Putting one hand to the floor, Jayne heaved himself up, ignoring the protest from his ribs. If the guard saw her there, something bad was sure to happen. And, cracked as she was, she was still part of the crew. Mal’d have his hide. He managed to stumble to the door just in time to see the guard catch sight of River.

“Who the Hell….?”

He never got to finish the question.

Quicker than Jayne would have thought possible, River whipped her leg round and caught the guard square in the chest. He stumbled backwards with a slight “oof”, River already spinning towards him again with a strange, balletic grace. The next kick was aimed at his lowered head, and brought him crashing to the floor. River spun round and smiled at Jayne, who took a step back from the door, amazed.

“I told you he’d be sleeping soon,” she chided, turning back to the guard and relieving him of his keys.

Two minutes later, they were outside of the jail house and making their way back to Serenity’s rendezvous point.

“How did you….?” Jayne began, clutching his side and staring at the slender girl walking beside him.

“It’s all mathematics. Numbers, angles, pounds per inch of pressure……” she waved a hand to indicate he probably wouldn’t understand.

“But, just like that….” Jayne was bewildered. He wasn’t used to being rescued, least of all by young, cracked girls.

River paused, staring up at him with those unfathomable eyes.

“Yes. Just like that.” Without further words, she reached up and placed her warm mouth to his. Too startled to think, he kissed her back for a couple of seconds before coming to his senses. Pushing her back, he glared at her in his most intimidating manner.

“What’d you do that for?” he growled, reaching a hand up to his mouth to rub away the memory.

“It’s what heroes do,” she informed him gravely, “once they rescue the damsel in distress they give them a kiss.”

“I ain’t no damsel, girl.”

“No, but Jayne is a girl’s name.”

With that, she scampered away, leaving a very bewildered Jayne Cobb staring after her.

“Well, I’ll be damned…..”