Kaylee closed up the door to the engine room as silently as possible, so as not to disturb the rest of the crew. Wasn’t likely anyone was still awake at this hour. Not after the excitement of the day; old army buddies turning up dead, then alive; a wild run through an icy canyon with feds on their tails; a hostage situation and a gunfight in the cargo hold that left them with the same dead army buddy. Right where they started.

No, everyone in their right mind was dead asleep about now. She rubbed at the back of her neck, trying to loosen the knotted muscles there. After the blasts from the Fed ship, there’d been some minor repairs to make to Serenity, nothing that couldn’t have been done the next day, but she found herself with a over abundance of restless energy and no other way to expend it.

Walking slowly toward the crew quarters she sighed, tired to the bone, but not the least bit sleepy. Even hours since being held at gunpoint, she still felt edgy. Unable to get her mind to rest. Pausing at the stairs, considered checking the infirmary for a sleep aid. Simon was bound to have some stashed somewhere down there. The doc was resourceful like that.

Pushing him from her thoughts, she continued to her room. There was too much going on in her head right then to be worrying over Simon Tam. It wouldn’t be the first sleepless night she’d hand in the last few months.

A faint clang of metal on metal froze her in her tracks, bringing the memory of Early instantly to the forefront of her thoughts.

Notagainnotagainnotagain. She bit her lip, waiting, listening for any hint as to where the sound had come from. They were still planet side on St. Alban‘s, but the captain had locked the ship up tight. No way anyone could have gotten aboard without setting off the newly installed alarms.

A familiar grunt sounded with the second clang of metal and Kaylee felt a flood of relief through her chest. Jayne. It was just Jayne. Abandoning her trek to her room, she doubled back to the catwalk to investigate what he was doing awake this late.

The lights were dim, but she could faintly make him out, his long frame dwarfing the bench press below. She stood there for a few moments, watching him. Despite the perma-frost outside, he had worked up a sweat, his favorite orange t-shirt damp with it, the orange hat his mother had made him hanging from the end of the weights. Swallowing, she lowered herself to the edge of the catwalk, letting her legs hang over the side.

There was something soothing about watching Jayne work out. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t complicated. It was the rush of breath as he strained his body to the limit, the bead of sweat that trickled from his brow and into his hair, the flex of hard, strong muscle beneath skin.

She felt safer, knowing he was here. A living, breathing weapon as good as anything the Alliance had.

“Ya gonna sit up there and stare all night, girl?”

She jumped slightly, shifting her eyes from the muscles in his abdomen visible where his shirt had ridden up, to find those piercing dark eyes on her. “I, uh, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Didn’t figure you did.”

“How’d you know I was up here?” She asked, quickly rising to her feet.

“Mal din’t hire me just ‘cause I’m a good shot. I’m a tracker and them combat boots of yours ain’t exactly stealthy.”

He didn’t seem bothered by her presence, continuing to press the weights without so much as a tremor, so she descended the stairs, figuring if they were gonna talk, it was best not to disturb any of the others. ‘Specially a certain doctor. “I gotta work on that, ‘suppose,” she admitted, finding a spot on the floor nearby.

“Ya ask me, you gotta work on not gettin’ yourself caught in the crossfire,” he grumbled. “First Dobson, then Early, now that tah mah de. Like to get yourself shot again.”

Her insides froze up, and she stared at him aghast. “I--I know I’m--”

Catching the expression on his face, he set the bars back in place before sitting up, “Aww, shit Kaylee, don’t go cryin’ or nothing‘.”

Biting her lip, she avoided meeting his eyes. She felt inadequate facing Jayne, with all his strength and fearlessness. No matter what his faults, and there were many, she knew he’d never have let his guard down around an unknown entity like Tracy. No matter how well the Captain and Zoe knew him. So far as she could tell, Jayne didn’t let his guard down around no one.

“I been thinkin’ about that, actually.” She finally said, looking up at him, dry-eyed. “Been thinkin’ that maybe this kinda life ain’t for me.”

He chuckled, brushing her words away with a wave of his hand. “You been spendin’ too much time with that moonbrain girl. That’s crazy talk. Captain may have the papers, but everyone knows this ship is yours.”

She smiled softly, her fingers gliding over the grating she sat on, “Sweet of you to say, Jayne, but it ain’t true. Cap’n could find a mechanic to replace me,” She sorta choked on the words and hoped he didn’t notice. “No one’d love her like I do, but…there are some that could take good care of her.”

Jayne winced, growin’ up with four sisters like he had had taught him a thing or two about women in emotional distress. Namely, to avoid them at all costs. But this was Kaylee. And even though he was tellin’ his feet to get up and walk away, they just weren’t obeying.

“You’re talkin’ like the Cap’n’s just gonna let you walk off this boat. I’m here ta tell ya he ain’t gonna let you abandon us all.” He said it as though that would be deterrent enough, and laid back on the bench, going back to work.

“Captain wants what’s best for me.” She told him matter-of-factly. “If I say it’s time to go, he’ll let me go. Get me home safe and sound first too. Promised me when I signed on.”

His paused mid-lift, “Wash wont like it. You and he run this boat likea team. Not many would put up with him like you do. He‘ll be mighty cranky about it. And when Wash is cranky, Zoe‘s cranky. And what about ‘Nara. You and her is like sisters. Her an’ Mal the way they are, sometimes think you’re the only thing keepin’ her here.”

He continued to bench press, his expression unreadable from where she sat, but then it was unreadable most times. “And you and Shepherd are the only two here capable of lookin’ on the bright side of things. Pushin’ all that doom and gloom away. Don’t reckon think the Shepherd can do it all by hisself. Might end up resentin’ you, iffn you left. Ain’t wise to have a man of God resentin’ you.”

He was quiet another moment, as though reluctant to speak her name. His voice dipped menacingly, “Then there’s River. She ain’t half so sane as she is when she’s with you. Remind her what it’s like ta be a girl, I think. And I ain’t lookin’ for her to be using me as a pin cushion again.” He gave another menacing grunt, in case Kaylee was getting ideas that he and the crazy girl were getting along these days.

“But--”

He swiftly cut her off, his mouth curling into a sneer, “Don’t rightly think the Doctor would be happy ta see you go either. Figured he was sly, myself, but seems to be comin’ ‘round where you’re concerned. I seen the way he’s looked at ya. Nearly pissed himself when he saw the kid with that gun to yer head.”

“And what if it happens again?” She asked, “You guys can’t always protect me.”

“Sure as hell can,” he growled adamantly. “Just watch me.”

She couldn’t come up with an argument in the face of such vehemence. “Okay then.”

“You know, Jayne, I think this the most I’ve heard you say in one sittin’ since the moment I met you.”

“Don’t got much to say most o’ tha time.”

She nodded absently, her mind finally catching up to the fatigue of her body. She stood up and stifled a yawn. “You know what I thought when I first saw you?” He didn’t respond and she didn’t really expect him to. “I thought the Cap’n had gone and gotten us the meanest, gruffest teddy bear on this side of the ‘Verse.”

He stopped lifting weights and sat up to dispute it, but was struck dumb when she leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Thanks for provin’ me right.”

She turned and started back up the stairs before pausing, glancing back at his still form. “What about you, Jayne?” She asked, her hand on the railing, for some reason unable to leave him until she got a response to this one question. “Would you miss me, if I left?”

He stared at her a long, hard moment, his eyes flickering with emotions she couldn’t name before he broke the connection and shrugged. “One mechanic’s just as good as ‘nother to me.”

Smiling a little to herself, she continued up the stairs, completely missing the helpless fall of his broad shoulders as he dropped his head into his hands.