Ariel News:

Today’s breaking story:

The remains of what was once the Intersun Intergalactic Passenger Liner was discovered by an independent Firefly class cargo ship. While there were no survivors, among the personal effects recovered by the crew of the cargo ship, was a recording made by a local reporter. Be warned that the following recording has not been screened. Remember, this exclusive recording is brought to you by your friends... The Ariel News.

“*static* *whispered voice* Hello? I hope someone finds this... I hope someone finds me...*sob* uummm....ok...pull it together...the world has to know...THEY exist!! Reavers are real!!They took this ship during night cycle. What woke me wasn’t noise; it was the complete and utter lack of. It was like waking in a tomb. No light, no sound only the smell of decay. At first I wasn’t sure whether I was dreaming or awake. Sound slowly came back, but what I heard was no more comforting. When I opened the door, the flickering emergency lights in the hallway were no improvement over the dark. I ventured out into the hallway to see if any of the other passengers knew what was happening...damn reporters instinct is gonna get me killed! I tried a few doors but they were locked and there was no answer to my calls. The noises were unsettling... scurrying, scratching, crashes and screams in the distance. But what was the most unsettling was the occasional high pitched maniacal laughter. It didn’t sound human...almost animal. The fourth door I tried was unlocked but only slid halfway open. The smell hit me like a sledgehammer. It was as dark in there as it was in my cabin. I could hear what sounded like wet burlap ripping and some shuffling. What I saw next will haunt me for the rest of my days... a childhood nightmare come to life... a walking human jigsaw puzzle straight out of hell turned and looked at me, eyes glowing. I was frozen to the spot. The laughter broke the trance. I hit the close button and ran for my life. I heard a heavy crash behind me, but apparently the door held, for now, and I wasn’t looking back to see. So here I am, locked in my room, hiding like a child in my closet. Please somebody help me....wait...what’s that...*shuffling and scratching* *hoarse whisper*...The door’s opening...the light!! Thank god you’re here Captain!! Captain?Please stop shining the light in my eyes…*sound of flashlight falling to the floor* Captain?? Come closer to the light please...OH LORD IN HEAVEN!!! *Piercing scream diminishing to a gurgle*”

Dear God!Cut to music!!! NOW!!! And who let these guys in??

Now is not a good time, I don’t care what you’re selling.

Cut to music now Gorramit!! Blue gloves boys?? I already had that examination. Go sell crazy somewhere else. If you haven't just heard...I've had crazy up to my eyeballs today. Now GET OUT of my booth!!

Strong silent types eh? For the last time, will somebody get these goofs and their little flashlight thingy outta my booth!!

*music*