Jayne let go of River’s hand as they neared the ship. She spread her fingers. Turned them over, examining them for traces of him. She lifted them to her nose.

There he was. He’d rubbed off on her.

Jayne put his hands in his pockets. She folded hers in front of her, saving the smell of tobacco and leather and sadness for later.

The Captain had the mule waiting for them. Inara was sitting in the front seat, her eyes still a little red and her hand close enough to the driver’s seat that the Captain could have touched it if he’d wanted to.

River knew he wanted to. But he wouldn’t

River climbed into the back, squishing herself between the wall and Simon. Kaylee was trying not to cry anymore. Simon was holding her hand, stroking it from her wrist to her knuckles and back again.

River watched it until it occurred to her that the mule wasn’t moving. She looked at Jayne, who was still standing with his hands in his pockets.

He was looking at the Captain. “Mule can’t carry more th’n five.”

“We ain’t got a payload. Should be fine, if ya don’t mind hangin’ on.”

“Nah.” Jayne nodded at a spot over River’s shoulder. River turned. She could see the town on the horizon—black specks barely higher than the ground.

“I kin walk. Ain’t too far.”

River’s eyes went from the pepper specks on the horizon back to Jayne.

He was looking at her.

She caught a flash of light. A shooting pain. Being pulled from somewhere.

Fear.

Hands. Lips. A white arm.

Fear.

Sinking. A laugh. A moan.

River’s skin jumped.

“You okay?”

She turned toward the voice. Simon was looking at her now.

She nodded because she didn’t know what else to do.

“We’ve got rooms at the Blue House.” Mal had started the engine. They were drifting forward. “Plannin’ on meetin’ up with Zoe in town ‘round suppertime, if yer interested.”

Jayne nodded, but he wasn’t looking at Mal. He wasn’t looking at River, either. He was just looking. At the pepper specks.

River turned again to see what was so interesting about them.

The mule seemed to get the same idea and turned with her.

She looked back as they sped toward the town.

Jayne was still standing there, arms across his chest, watching them go. Wash’s living brother’s house was behind him. And Serenity. All laid out like a capture.

River captured it. Held it in her mind as she turned back around and squinted against the wind.

She lifted her fingers to her nose and breathed.

***

Jayne didn’t like it. He didn’t like the tight feelin’ in his chest, like someone was standin’ on him. He didn’t like having to shake that man’s hand like his brother weren’t dead. He didn’t like wantin’ to turn around and see Wash standin’ there, grinnin’ like an idjit an’ sayin’ somethin’ stupid.

He didn’t like that the tight feelin’ in his chest wasn’t all on account of Wash.

And he didn’t like that, from the second those little fingers went between his, that feelin’ started to go away.

Ai ya.

The mule was real tiny now. He kicked a rock, like it had done somethin’ to ‘im.

“Ni ta ma de tian xia suo you de ren dou gai si.”

He started walkin’.

***

River laughed. Less at what the Captain had said than at the sound of hearing Zoe laugh again.

“And he had this awful moustache. It was huge. You could hardly see his face. Scared the hell out of me.”

“She made him shave it off less than a week after we hired ‘im.”

“It was terrifying! Who knew what he was hiding in there? It was for the security of the ship.”

“Weren’t long after that I started hearin’ real peculiar noises comin’ from her bunk. And his bunk. And the bridge.” Mal’s eyes were glowing as he laughed.

He should laugh more often.

Zoe’s smile was like firelight. “He had a real pretty face under that rat.”

River basked in it.

“Hey, sailor.”

River turned toward Kaylee’s voice. She was looking toward the door. River turned.

Jayne dragged a chair from a table near by and straddled it, crossing his arms over the back.

“Did I miss anythin’ good?”

“Ah, just reminiscin’.” Mal slid his bottle of whisky in Jayne’s direction.

Jayne caught the bottle and looked at Zoe. “’Ja tell ‘em about when ya caught ‘im with his dinosaurs the first time?”

The Captain and Zoe started laughing again. So hard the Captain had to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

Everyone else laughed with them, even though they didn’t know the story yet.

“So—“ Zoe caught her breath. “So I walk onto the bridge one day. I don’t remember if it was before or after we…” She cleared her throat. “Got acquainted…”

“After! After. That’s what made it so ruttin’ funny!” Mal had his arms crossed over his chest and was leaning back in his chair.

“After, then. Well I walk on the bridge one day just to check on things, and there’s Wash, sitting in his chair. I must’ve been pretty quiet or he must’ve been pretty tied up in what he was doin’,” this started Mal and Jayne laughing again, “because he didn’t hear me come up the stairs.

“All I see…” Zoe started laughing again as she spoke. River grinned at the music it made. “All I see is him, moving something around in his lap. And he’s talkin’.”

Everyone was laughing again now.

“And the things he’s sayin’!” She lowered her voice into Wash’s T-Rex voice. “’I’m the one in charge now. If I say jump, you jump. If I say go, you go when and where I tell you,’” Zoe could hardly get the words out, she was laughing so hard, “’Or I’ll bite your head clean off! Now get up, you puny weakling!’”

She completely dissolved, her shoulders shaking.

The whole table was shaking.

“And so I’m thinking, ‘what kind of messed up fei fei de pi yan do I have drivin’ our boat?!’ Never mind my personal feelings on the matter!”

“Oooooh, you ain’t never seen a man so red.” Mal sat back again, sighing through his grin.

“He couldn’t do nothin’ but stutter to anyone for a few hours.” Jayne was grinning along with the rest of them. “Zoe let ‘im keep his dinosaurs out in the open from then on.”

“Well it got rid of a good deal of confusion.” Zoe sighed, her smile still on her face.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Still smiling, though. Strange, how he could make them all so happy. Just like he was there.

River closed her eyes. Let the warm buzz of Wash fill up her brain.

“Dallin wants to have a party for him.” River opened her eyes. Zoe’s smile was smaller now. Softer. But still there in her eyes. “He figures that he wouldn’t want us to sit around feeling all sorrowful about him. He’d rather see us havin’ a good time.” She took a drink from her glass and set it back on the table. “I’d have to say I agree with him.”

The Captain nodded. “Seems fittin’.”

“He wants to have it tomorrow night. He says that’ll give him plenty of time to round up the guests and have his wife make up some food.”

“We’re here to help, of course. Whatever’s needed.” Inara’s voice was soft. Firm.

River rolled the double meaning of what she had said over in her mind. She smiled. Liked the shape of it.

So did Zoe. “I know.” It was so good to see her smile. “Thank you.”

River pulled her knees up to her chest, pressing the heels of her boots into her chair. She wrapped her arms around her legs and put her cheek on her knees. She closed her eyes, and wished for more nights like this.